glumshoe
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glumshoe: This was my chemistry professor.
glumshoe:Listen, I love media and stories and interesting characters… but fictional characters are not more important than real people. If your dedication to fandom outstrips your ability to be decent to existing humans… you have an actual, serious
glumshoe:Shoutout to the imaginary person or creature that used to run alongside the car when you were a kid. It was so good at parkour.
glumshoe: lilwolverine: national geographic, 1980. forest ladies. Here we go… the leading ladies of my butch werewolf environmental crime mystery thriller movie.
glumshoe: normally I’d say “none of your beeswax” but she made an exception yes she has four buttcheeks and also a hidden silk spinneret 7 vaganias… imagine
glumshoe: “Brownish” may be an uncelebrated eye color, but on the bright side, they turn yellow in sunlight:
glumshoe: sweetbabyraysgourmetsauces: sweetbabyraysgourmetsauces: first meme of 2018: stealing glum shoe posts word for word first meme of 2018 is seeing any post made by him and copy and pasting it to your blog instead of reblogging it Heads up, but
glumshoe: Children playing with Barbies in media: “This is Sally. She’s the mommy. She loves fashion, swimming, and she drives a convertible! She has a baby with Ken and sometimes they kiss.” OR “Look, I ripped Barbie’s head off! Ha ha ha!
glumshoe: well, since you asked…
glumshoe: Went driving today for the first time in, er, about a year? As soon as I got behind the wheel, I thought of that scene in Jumanji where Robin William’s character is bluffing his ability to drive after having done it once, in a driveway, decades
glumshoe: More nonsense about ‘draculas’ as an improper plural noun interchangeable with ‘vampires’. It’s so dismissive. Just imagine someone from Buffy the Vampire Slayer saying something like, “Oh, yeah, spooky old tower. I bet there
glumshoe: Representation is important because it allows people to see characters like themselves as heroes. It also allows people to see characters unlike themselves as sympathetic and relatable. Stories teach us how to be human.
glumshoe:Y'know… there are probably better insults than “neckbeard”. Body weight, skin condition, and the distribution and grooming of body hair aren’t moral failings.
glumshoe: dodrio: marsixm: it’s so funny how people get upset that gender is a social construct? EVERYTHING is a social construct??? go ask a frog what day of the fuckin week it is, he doesn’t know “if you ask a frog about gender they’ll know
glumshoe: “we’ve explored more of space than the ocean….” I mean. Well. I don’t know how to say this diplomatically, but… that’s… wrong. That’s not true. I might not know a whole lot about space but I am pretty sure that it’s sorta
glumshoe: in movies they always have characters sharing an intimate moment and saying “tell me something you’ve never told anyone before” and some deeply moving personal story full of emotion and heartache comes out of it and the characters, who
glumshoe: Today I made the unfortunate discovery that Jim Carrey was once a conventionally handsome prettyboy. As in, you could describe him as “elegant” and possessing “chiseled good looks” and wouldn’t be off the mark. With a neutral expression
glumshoe:Hey Paul Bunyan statues scattered across America? It’s time. It’s time for you to wake up from your slumber, come to life, and deliver us in our time of need. #bunyanmarchonwashington
glumshoe: kaisgirlfriend: my kink is being a meaningful part of someone’s life #tie me up and tell me I’m important
glumshoe: congruentepitheton: writernotwaiting: congruentepitheton: Noir subgenres - Fantasy noir: Pour another one, Joe. My dragon left me for some clean-shaven cape-wearing foreign hero with an accent so thick you can hear the fake passport in
glumshoe:just painted a big ass tooth on my new cropped sweatshirt. it symbolizes my ferocious desire to grind down fibrous vegetable matter.
glumshoe: vampireapologist: my friend got accused of making up a funny dream she had. someone said “no one has dreams this interesting” like. imagine being so boring and annoying that you even think people having funny DREAMS are lying. I get
glumshoe: Yeah, I wish I could fly or run at super speed or teleport. Whose doesn’t?! But the superpower I crave most acutely is the ability to dreamwalk. There are innocent uses. You show up in your friend’s recurring nightmares and tell her that
glumshoe: Popular media has made given the ‘Death’ tarot card a bad rap. Lots of people assume it means you’re literally gonna die! That’s not true. It just represents a significant change or transition, the end of one phase and beginning of the
glumshoe: hot new meme of 2018 unionizing
glumshoe: “Hmm, I support their cause but I don’t think they should be striking. It’s too disruptive! Wait until summer break when school’s out.” the entire point of a strike is to be disruptive
glumshoe: As much as I appreciate the creepy atmospheric supernatural use of the concept of “liminal space”, I don’t want people to forget that liminality is an actual anthropological term used to describe states of personal and social transition,
glumshoe: I used to feed the crows on campus every day because it was easier than making human friends (I had one already - and Robin likes crows as much as I do). Pretty soon, they figured out where I lived and would alight upon my dorm windowsill and
glumshoe: “If you have a problem with something, explain it rationally, calmly, articulately, and with patience so that other people will understand and take you seriously.” [does so] “Hmm. If you actually felt strongly about this, you wouldn’t
glumshoe: trashfirefallon: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy: I got a shout out on Not Another D&D Podcast, @trashfirefallon got their question answered on MBMBaM… It’s only a matter of time before Ship is the new voice of Night Vale. It’s a slippery
glumshoe: Autocorrect changed my attempt at writing Grunkle Stan to “grumble stab”, which is not just a hilarious mispronounciation of his name, it’s also something he would do.
glumshoe: I’m gonna try a paleo diet and exclusively eat fossils.
glumshoe: cowghoul: cowghoul: ok so there was this collection of harry potter toys that came with little cauldrons and ?? little buckets of slime ??? and they were based off of all the freaky events in chamber of secrets, like hermione had cat ears
glumshoe:glumshoe:any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit
glumshoe: argumate: glumshoe: “Brownish” may be an uncelebrated eye color, but on the bright side, they turn yellow in sunlight: can you please stop being a fanfiction character, for one day, I’m begging you and they turn VIOLET when I’m
glumshoe: hans-the-liesmith: glumshoe: I’m not gay but I think Dwayne Johnson could give a mean shoulder massage. I’m not straight but I also think Dwayne Johnson could give a mean shoulder massage. Reblog if you want Dwayne’s Gentle Meaty Hands
glumshoe: glumshoe: What I say: “I’m touch-starved.” What you think I mean: “I need a hug.” What I truly mean: “I need someone to platonically lie across me with their full weight, crushing my body and providing deep pressure until my
glumshoe: glumshoe: What I say: “I’m touch-starved.” What you think I mean: “I need a hug.” What I truly mean: “I need someone to platonically lie across me with their full weight, crushing my body and providing deep pressure until my errant
glumshoe:korra-is-love:glumshoe:my dad put some tangerines on my head and they felt nice and cool and soothing so I decided to leave them THAT’S ME!!!
glumshoe: nbstartrek: glumshoe:I made a generator so you too can find your futuristic unisex sci-fi name. um you’re welcome
glumshoe: cyankitty: glumshoe: When I am king, the first law I will pass will be to make gag reels mandatory for every movie. No. banished and just for that, documentaries will have gag reels, too
glumshoe:tits-n-trix:glumshoe:I heard too many sounds at once and now I am a bitch We’re all one sensory overload away from becoming the strongest versions of ourselvessupervillain origin story: two conversations happened near me at the same time
glumshoe: flufferdufferslytherin: glumshoe: I totally understand the appeal of pettiness, snark, and the pleasure of revenge. But seriously, where’s the satisfaction if someone hasn’t actually wronged you? Meanness is only fun if they’ve got
glumshoe: noldork: glumshoe: I had a really amazing interaction a couple of hours ago. A little boy wandered over to me, wearing a shirt that I recognized from the drawing I did of Dipper Pines as a teenager: ‘Never Trust An Atom - They Make Up
glumshoe: justsomekat: cenkrett: glumshoe: Representation is important because it allows people to see characters like themselves as heroes. It also allows people to see characters unlike themselves as sympathetic and relatable. Stories teach us
glumshoe: glumshoe: My grandmother is a bitter old crab with nothing good to say about anything, but she does have a few good stories. She confronted the woman my grandfather had been cheating on her with - this other woman had no idea he was married,
glumshoe: glumshoe: “Hey, I like this color and it looks great on me!” you say one day. Six years later you open your closet and nearly every shirt you own is the same shade of rusty red-orange. Help. SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT. I’VE BEEN MASC VELMA
glumshoe: glumshoe: My friend’s three year-old daughter insisted on that I was a doctor and she was my patient. Several other toddlers insisted that they, too, were sick or injured, so I had to take imaginary triage on the playground. I took her heart
glumshoe:glumshoe:Ah yes. The Great Cotton Candy Desert. The dryest place on Earth. When it does rain, the entire spun-sugar landscape melts into deadly rivers of syrup that can drown unwary travelers, and the ecosystem must slowly rebuild itself over
glumshoe: dragontatoes: cryptids-are-out-there: Here’s a short compliation of my favorite paranormal vines to help cheer everyone up @glumshoe Ahhhh! I made it into a Vine compilation!
glumshoe:inkedintothepaper:glumshoe:any kiss could be the kiss of death depending on the severity of your allergies and what your kissing partner has been eating Or if they have a knife for a toungeyeah. or if they have a knife for a tongue.
glumshoe: glumshoe: My method of getting kids not to swear at camp was just to appeal to their sense of fairness. Child: “Fuck!” Me: “Hey! I’m not allowed to swear in front of you guys. It’s not fair if you swear in front of me, is it?”
glumshoe: notsohotmusician: glumshoe: One of my least favorite shots in the entire Harry Potter franchise is the one where Voldemort is leaning over Dumbledore’s corpse to take the Elder wand. I hate it so much. What is the rest of his body doing?
