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glumshoe: glumshoe: Hey… this is just. A small shout-out to those of you who have successfully left cults and/or are in the process of doing so. What you’ve done is very brave, and you are not wrong or evil or selfish for wanting to escape from that,
glumshoe: lastvalyrian: glumshoe: Star Trek producers: “WE HAVE A COSTUME BUDGET!”Star Trek writers: “That’s great! But our characters almost all wear simple spandex uniforms.”Star Trek producers: “…”Star Trek writers: “…”Star
glumshoe: emibenza8: glumshoe: I thought that a child peering at me through the crack in the stall door was the scariest thing that could happen to me in the bathroom today, but then three small children entered the handicap stall together and started
glumshoe: mint-bees: glumshoe: I think one of my lowest lows of the past few years was crawling on my stomach across broken glass under a cabin to drag out a rotting mule deer carcass while crying over a girl and listening to Radiohead on loop ship
glumshoe: punkrorschach: glumshoe: dinosaur wrist discourse Stop right there you’ve gone far enough. [slowly rotates my wrists horizontally]
glumshoe: glumshoe: I liked the “welcome to Gay Heaven” porn bots. They were wholesome and friendly. The current wave of pornbots are much more sinister - like a cloaked figure offering to grant your dark wishes with evil magic. No!!! I do not
glumshoe: glumshoe: Is there anything more nauseating than ‘expensive heterosexual wedding’ culture? My dream wedding: outside, illegal fireworks, shoes are optional, mostly potluck, someone’s dressed as a wizard, I get to insult my relatives,
glumshoe: glumshoe: having a hyperfixation is like if Fallout 4 had the dialogue options of “friendly” “sarcastic” “inquisitive” and “infodump about the same specific topic” for every interaction
glumshoe:novastargirl:glumshoe:Me: “Lately I cant stop thinking about how cool it would be if millipedes got really big. I like to imagine myself dressed in a billowy white shirt and leather pants, holding a rapier and swordfighting my very attractive
glumshoe:glumshoe:I’d like to know what the first person to put human clothing on a dog was thinking like were dogs even dogs yet or did someone manage to squeeze a particularly patient tamed wolf into a leather shirt and then howl with laughter as
glumshoe:glumshoe:I am a/an: ENCHANTED KNIGHT looking for a/an: BRAWNY GIRL who likes: ROSES, WRESTLING CROCODILES AND OTHER WILD ANIMALS, BREAKING CURSES, PISSING OFF FAIRIES and WANTS TO START A FAMILY IMMEDIATELY you should message me if: YOU AREN’T
glumshoe: glumshoe: You hear the train before you see it. The rails hum with the approach of the great locomotive, and a whistle like the howl of some haunted beast pierces the air as it hurtles toward you. The villain twirls his mustache and chuckles
glumshoe:piningmarten:glumshoe:Can I offer you a nice mole in these trying times?you sound like a starship’s central computer that has little grasp on what humans find enjoyable that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me
glumshoe: sillywafflefries: glumshoe: I had a dream that I lived in a town on the edge of reality. There was a map showing the location of the town in spacetime, and it was depicted as teetering on the edge of the event horizon of a funnel-shaped warp
glumshoe:glumshoe:My parents have been watching The Order and IMHO it’s garbage, but without a doubt my favorite character is the girl who only ever suggests murdering people. They wrote two lines for her and those lines are “I am going to kill you”
glumshoe:tits-n-trix:glumshoe:I heard too many sounds at once and now I am a bitch We’re all one sensory overload away from becoming the strongest versions of ourselvessupervillain origin story: two conversations happened near me at the same time
glumshoe:tothevoidandback:glumshoe:my first ship was Big Bird/Snow WhiteWhat the actual fuckJust because or is there a reason or story to this???They were two action figures I owned in preschool and I thought it was very sensible for them to get married
glumshoe:therequisitewatson:glumshoe:I met Tamora Pierce at a book signing once when I was in high school. I was halfway through your standard cursory “hey thanks your books meant a lot to me when I was—” when suddenly her pupils visibly dilated
glumshoe:thedivinetreasury:glumshoe:I had a dream about the water cycle.What about the water cycle? Just it being the water cycle?I was wearing a bad wig and irritably talking to some dad who refused to drink the public water and insisted that his family
glumshoe:glumshoe:rabbits are cute, but the harrowed, wild-eyed look of a desert hare? exquisite G̭O̳̲ ̤͓͇̼T̶H̖E̢͖̺̞̘͍̟N̢̢̙̭͚̥̳̫̪͚̥̳̫̪T̜̣̭̕H͏E̹̜̝͢R̜͓͎̤̹̬̫E͎͜ ̪̫Ạ̯̠̣͈ͅR̭E̖͔͓̹̲ ͚͜O̦͔̘̼̻̤T̳͍͚H͓̘̰̪͕͙E̢͔͉̱R̴̹͎͇̺̻̰͕
glumshoe:glumshoe:the villain from Quest for Camelot is very good because his motives begin and end with “I just want to cause problems for the drama of it” and then he does just that, for no good reason, and that’s valid he’s just like “there
glumshoe:lilaheartstrings: glumshoe: worldbuilding is what writers do when they want to justify a petty aesthetic choice Worldbuilding is also what writers do when they want to justify not actually writing. Reading this comment was like looking
glumshoe: mosspath1602: glumshoe: Everyone thinks succubus = female demon and incubus = male demon, but the Latin roots of each word just mean “to lie beneath”/“to lie on top”, without specifying gender. So technically you could say that a succubus
glumshoe: glumshoe: What I say: “I’m touch-starved.” What you think I mean: “I need a hug.” What I truly mean: “I need someone to platonically lie across me with their full weight, crushing my body and providing deep pressure until my
glumshoe: glumshoe: Everyone’s familiar with “Rule 34 of the Internet: there is porn of any conceivable subject”. Is there also a rule that states that fandom abhors a vacuum of sexually available slim white men to ship with each other, and
glumshoe: asidewalksymphony: glumshoe: Ah, summer. That time of year when tripping over a deer is almost inevitable. I’m still reeling over how the op just strolled up to a pair of glowing eyes in the middle of a pitch black night, with OUT peeing
glumshoe: glumshoe: “If you’re not interested in the gritty realism of a story in which your favorite characters could die horribly at any time, it’s because you’re a naive comfort-reader who can’t handle hard-hitting fiction.” No, friend.
glumshoe: marley-worldd: marley-worldd: glumshoe: marley-worldd: thecrownedgoddess: There is this pervasive myth that people with a darker complexion cannot get a sunburn and thus needn’t use sunscreen. As a consequence a lot of dark(er) people
glumshoe: dragontatoes: cryptids-are-out-there: Here’s a short compliation of my favorite paranormal vines to help cheer everyone up @glumshoe Ahhhh! I made it into a Vine compilation!
glumshoe: verytiredtorin: glumshoe: “You are what you eat,” said The Blue Fairy, unwisely. Pinnocchio turned sly eyes upon the elementary school. Op do you take constructive criticism Sure. Name one way I could have improved my two-sentence
glumshoe: glumshoe:I love living in the future with advanced technology. It’s so great how I can just press a button on a machine and it will splutter hot, fresh coffee outwards at a horizontal angle onto my uniform, completely missing my cup. It saves
glumshoe:reblogging-dragon:glumshoe:Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s
glumshoe: glumshoe: The veil is thin here. It’s thin everywhere. Of course it’s fucking thin. Who ever heard of a thick veil? That shit’s lightweight, even sheer. Like, shit, Agatha. There’s a reason they don’t call it “the down comforter
glumshoe:glumshoe:I have an unbelievably funny idea for a prank but it would require a 贄 or more investment in miniature REI tents so it’s never going to happen. ok fuck itI want one of those scaled-down display tents they have at REI that’s just
glumshoe:the-nameless-human200:glumshoe:camels did not go gently into domestication Explain plsHorse looked at Human and said “very well; let it be so–treasure me and I will serve you peacefully, most of the time” but Camel looked at Human
glumshoe: glumshoe: These are some of the embassy numbers in Paris for people who may have concerns about friends or relatives. British embassy: +33 1 44 51 31 00 US embassy Phone: +33 1 43 12 22 22 Irish embassy Phone:+33 1 44 17 67 00 (All in Paris,
glumshoe: meettheghost: kristenplescow: Decided to relax and doodle out one of my favorite Goetic demons. I haven’t posted in awhile, but no time like the present to throw some more stuff up! ;) @glumshoe so kawaii
glumshoe: glumshoe: Yet more of my wizard professor, who has a poodle familiar which follows him everywhere. I should probably mention that my school also has an astronomy tower decorated with alchemy symbols. RIP, The Wizard. You will be missed.
glumshoe: glumshoe: Silver Bridge may have collapsed but Mothman’s ass is forever RIP Vine
glumshoe: bulletholeband-aids: @glumshoe @vampireapologist I want to wear this under a cape of gold autumn leaves.
glumshoe:red-mercer:glumshoe:scientific illustration This checks out, even has a properly fused head/thoraxyeah, that’s the daddy
glumshoe: glumshoe: “Awkward silence”? Nah I’m just mentally going through the dialogue options and trying to figure out if any of them are accidentally rude. Oh Wow Whoops I Guess That Was The Sarcastic Option Instead Of The Nice One Wasn’t
glumshoe: glumshoe: My method of getting kids not to swear at camp was just to appeal to their sense of fairness. Child: “Fuck!” Me: “Hey! I’m not allowed to swear in front of you guys. It’s not fair if you swear in front of me, is it?”
glumshoe: glumshoe: every painting by Andrew Wyeth is of a ghost and you can’t convince me otherwise there are so many fucking ghosts in this picture I can’t even count them
glumshoe: glumshoe: Both El and I are camera-shy and making videos with other people is inherently awkward. We planned to make this for more than six hours and just… dragged our feet and found excuses to do other things, sitting around in gelled
glumshoe: glumshoe: Pillow 1: beneath my head Pillow 2: between my knees Pillow 3: the huggin’ pillow Pillow 4: against my back to anchor me to this plane of reality pillows 5-8 do not have formalized roles but are able to arrange themselves into
glumshoe: glumshoe: The first rule of Fight Club is: A member may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. The second rule of Fight Club is: A member must obey orders given it by human beings except where
glumshoe: a-cornucopia-of-characters: glumshoe: Normalize carrying or possessing feminine hygiene products, even if you don’t need them. Make them an essential part of your bathroom cabinet or first aid supplies, along with bandages, or tweezers,
glumshoe: thewaitingplatypus: gravity-engineer: glumshoe: More Weird Shit I Found in the Woods™. Geometrically-challenged child cultists should have stuck with the triangles. Is this real life Dipper Pines? SHIT I REMEMBER THIS! I REMEMBER THIS
glumshoe: glumshoe: What I say: “I’m touch-starved.” What you think I mean: “I need a hug.” What I truly mean: “I need someone to platonically lie across me with their full weight, crushing my body and providing deep pressure until my errant
glumshoe: axelspark: askull4everyoccasion: 13thcat: glumshoe: the real horrors of Halloween @askull4everyoccasion Honestly? Yeah. It’s the only thing stopping me from buying them. They are fantasy animals. Get over your bullshit. actually
glumshoe: glumshoe: When I want to experience profound, bone-shaking surges of nostalgia, I watch the intro to the old ‘EYEWITNESS’ nature documentaries. Some of my earliest memories are of watching these, and I still have dreams set in these magic
glumshoe: telepathicfek: glumshoe: Me: “Hmm, medication could make it possible for me to do the things I’ve always wanted to do but haven’t been able to. It might open grad school as a genuine possibility by allowing me to function efficiently
glumshoe: godzillasflyingpizza: glumshoe: I’m not wholly adverse to a LotR remake, but what I really want is an animated adaptation. A good one - not the 70′s and 80′s cartoons. Imagine an animated Middle Earth in the style of Cartoon Saloon! you
glumshoe: glumshoe: Two nights ago, I attended a party hosted by our bird rehabber friends. I met an old German woman there with waist-length gray hair, crooked teeth, and wild magic. Fitting, in a wildlife rehabber. She couldn’t speak to animals,
glumshoe: glumshoe: I don’t think I shared this story from camp before, but I just related it to my dad and remembered how funny it was. One week this past summer, I had a cabin of really funny boys who all had kind hearts but serious meme problems.
![glumshoe: punkrorschach: glumshoe: dinosaur wrist discourse Stop right there you’ve gone far enough. [slowly rotates my wrists horizontally]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/avatar_903b5fcc30fd_128.png){kind=avatar}
