glumshoe
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glumshoe: glumshoe: The veil is thin here. It’s thin everywhere. Of course it’s fucking thin. Who ever heard of a thick veil? That shit’s lightweight, even sheer.
glumshoe: glumshoe: Just, like, putting this out there. One of the best acrobats I’ve ever known was fat. He was tall, heavyset, and as graceful, agile, and flexible as anyone I’ve seen, and could do handsprings and somersaults like breathing. So
glumshoe: semoka: glumshoe: It’d really suck if I got ice or water-themed superpowers. I’d have to wear blue and white and gray instead of the reds and oranges I prefer. wear the reds and oranges and pull an iceland/greenland on em “I have
glumshoe: glumshoe: So in every anthropomorphic personification of the Seven Deadly Sins, each of the sins embodies their trait. Gluttony is very hungry, Pride is very.. prideful, etc. Except Lust. Lust is always just a hot woman who may or may not
glumshoe: chilicheeseflake: glumshoe: Everyone has an “Adam’s apple”. It’s just a bit of the cartilage of the larynx. The size varies from person to person - cis women may have prominent ones, cis men may have very small ones. I’ve always
glumshoe: glumshoe:This is my thought process each morning as I am getting ready for work. thank you to @iwatch-thebees for finding this image for me
glumshoe: marshnonsense: glumshoe: hello fellow sentients it is I Snuggie Data Seeing even a Data cosplay with any form of emotion on its face is utterly terrifying then perish
glumshoe: glumshoe: C-3PO, but with bad image recognition, just walking around Tatooine with his hands over his eyes being constantly scandalized by the sand dunes because his AI tells him he’s surrounded by an endless expanse of nude flesh. R2, beeping
glumshoe:glumshoe:Feels like a trivial thing to post about given the general state of the world, but since no one else seems to be doing so I’ll just say it’s a good idea to keep your eyes peeled for invasive spotted lantern flies and report them
glumshoe:desert-thinker:glumshoe:the absolute funniest thing Trump could conceivably be impeached for would be “falsifying national weather reports” OP don’t hide itI’ve only read a few of the Night’s Watch books but I am reasonably sure this
glumshoe: glumshoe: What I say: “I’m touch-starved.” What you think I mean: “I need a hug.” What I truly mean: “I need someone to platonically lie across me with their full weight, crushing my body and providing deep pressure until my errant
glumshoe: puckthefaerie: glumshoe: how… conscious are the paintings in Hogwarts? From what’s shown, as conscious as you or I. Why tho? it should be illegal for wizards to paint scenes of torture
glumshoe: glumshoe: The alligator mating/territorial display consists of males doing squats in the water and hurgling. hear him hurgling
glumshoe: glumshoe: My method of getting kids not to swear at camp was just to appeal to their sense of fairness. Child: “Fuck!” Me: “Hey! I’m not allowed to swear in front of you guys. It’s not fair if you swear in front of me, is it?”
glumshoe: pishposh-haberdash: glumshoe: I’m glad that Indiana finally has its first national park and that it’s the one mostly known for having sand dunes that eat children. how, pray tell, does a dune eat A Child Imagine that you’re a big
glumshoe: glumshoe: Human: “One of these days, I’m going to teach you how to tell an actual joke. Remind me.” Robot: “I am already very funny.” Human: “Yeah, but… not because you’re good at telling jokes. You’re accidentally funny
glumshoe:nonbinaryadam:glumshoe:I forgot how much learning another language can temporarily fuck up your normal language. What do you MEAN I can’t say “has Omar a house pretty” in English. me using German sentence structure and saying “how much
glumshoe:narnianarcher:glumshoe:let’s play “is that my hair sliding over my skin or is it a spider”This is NOT my favorite game!but you have to admit it’s kind of thrilling
glumshoe:chewilly:glumshoe:I just got a letter from the department of health telling me that I am now eligible for vaccination due to my high risk medical condition what do they know that I don’t Sorry for reblogging a personal post, but some of the
glumshoe::glumshoe:Stim toys don’t appeal to me. I need to destroy. op is a parrot[rings my horrible little bell and yanks apart a rope] AND WHAT OF IT
glumshoe:inkedintothepaper:glumshoe:any kiss could be the kiss of death depending on the severity of your allergies and what your kissing partner has been eating Or if they have a knife for a toungeyeah. or if they have a knife for a tongue.
glumshoe:chippyyyz:garbage-empress:suinicide:unpretty:glumshoe:I don’t think there’s a worse hobby in the entire world than cave diving. They’re just trying to keep all the rocks to themselvesThis is not a place of honorYou will not find a little
glumshoe:glumshoe:god as I was driving back from Michigan yesterday I had my shirt fully unbuttoned to stay cool and stopped into a CVS to use the ATMwhich I totally forgot about until the guy outside the door went “uh, wow” and averted his eyes Arrival
glumshoe:reblogging-dragon:glumshoe:Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s
glumshoe:tits-n-trix:glumshoe:I heard too many sounds at once and now I am a bitch We’re all one sensory overload away from becoming the strongest versions of ourselvessupervillain origin story: two conversations happened near me at the same time
glumshoe: glumshoe: I know it seems Cool and Feminist™ to deride boys and men for physical attributes they cannot help, but it’s not cool, or feminist, to reinforce the idea that someone’s body is a reflection of their worth. Most people didn’t
glumshoe: thatll-do: glumshoe: From here on out, to avoid confusion, I am going to end any joking statement I write on tumblr dot com with a large, high-res photograph of a clown, to indicate that it’s written in jest. you’re joking, right? Do
glumshoe: glumshoe: this is the very first message I’ve received on OKCupid never mind this turned into an intense discussion on the history of disco
glumshoe: glumshoe: I finally got the Far Harbor DLC, after more than a year of considering it. I opened my save and Nick Valentine instantly turned to me and said “Sounds like we’re needed back at the agency!”Do you think Nick feels weird that
glumshoe: glumshoe:perhaps the brainstuffs that are supposed to help me instinctively recognize rhythm got replaced with brainstuffs that make me really good at finding berries no waitDREAM RECALL
glumshoe: pipcomix: glumshoe: I keep checking tumblr to see if Pip has complained about all the pictures of bad Spock masks I’ve sent. #no luck gotta send moreKIDS IF YOUR TEACHERS TELL YOU THAT IGNORING BULLIES WILL MAKE THEM LEAVE YOU ALONE THEY
glumshoe: blumalou: glumshoe: bumblebeebats:It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus
glumshoe: agnosticalchemist: glumshoe:….was “Hook” Captain James Hook’s birth name….? I saw this and I thought that Captain Hook’s middle name was Tiberius and I thought, “Why didn’t Ship mention it?” and then I looked it up and realized
glumshoe: glumshoe:I’m considering getting my tubes tied as soon as possible. Perhaps doctors will be less likely to turn me away or make me jump through hoops if I point at the Supreme Court nominee. I would rather regret not being physically able
glumshoe: courtnashe: glumshoe: I’m the human Pale Man All I’m hearing is that Guillermo Del Toro should hire you does Doug Jones need an apprentice?
glumshoe: aunkora: glumshoe: Don’t lick banana slugs. Yes, it does make your tongue slightly numb, no, it’s not worth the lingering sensation of clinging film that may take half a day to wear off. They don’t taste particularly remarkable - like
glumshoe: glumshoe: I’ve been working here nearly seven months and my #1 piece of feedback from my boss is still Stop Doing Abnormal Things With Your Arms. “If you have your arms behind your back, no one can see your hands, and that makes people
glumshoe: crying-budgies: glumshoe: You fool. You sent a mere boy to do a manatee’s job. hey what does this mean??. He’s just a kid. He’s never gonna be able to eat 10-15% of his body weight in sea grass per day. Look at him… he can barely
glumshoe: glumshoe:I’m tired of being by burgled. Three times in the last six months… first the lawnmower and tools, then all the electronics but my phone and drawing tablet, now the fucking garbage cart? Why? Why would you steal my garbage cart?
glumshoe: nihilistic-nipple: glumshoe: Child: “Mummies are like the human version of dinosaurs!” They’re not wrong But they’re not… right, either…
glumshoe: glumshoe: There’s a lot I don’t understand about steampunk fashion. What activity is someone engaged in that requires eye protection and allows for a top hat at the same time? also what’s the point of gears that don’t attach to anything
glumshoe: gallusrostromegalus: glumshoe: Sometimes I’ll want to write characters sitting down for a lavish meal only to remember that I have… very little understanding of food. I have always had a rather limited palate, so my concept of what people
glumshoe:prince-atom:glumshoe:of course any commodity in sci-fi that is just called “spice” must have powerful mystical and addictive properties, it’s not anyone would ever commit genocide and countless colonial atrocities nearly resulting in the
glumshoe:glumshoe:Some guy called the park today and asked if we have any outdoor snow activities coming up. “We should soon,” I said, “Weather permitting.”“‘Weather permitting’?” he asked. “Can you clarify what you mean by that?”“I
glumshoe:newsinthenightsky:glumshoe:the Indiana state seal is a dude chopping down a forest while a bison runs away As someone who lives in Indiana, I don’t even think we have bison??We did. But then we killed them they ran away.
glumshoe: sddnpngn: glumshoe: vintjulep: I FOUND IT vintjulep: Bruh this was me as a kid! Maybe not Seti II but I was absolutely obsessed with mummies for at least 2 years, I even had a pyramid and mummy cake for a birthday! Always asked for books
glumshoe: memprime: glumshoe: narutosideblog: thebusylilbee:star wars is so fucking stupid, I love it honestly you can just slap -steel or -plast to almost any constructiony-sounding word and it will work. Plasteel, durasteel, consteel, flexiplast,
glumshoe:drenthestickbug-deactivated2022:glumshoe:[slams fists on table, gesticulating wildly with a whole turkey leg and a glass of wine, while rubbing my belly]I want my puppyI want my puppy NOWGeez how many arms do you havejust enough to hold my puppy
glumshoe:learningtoacceptchange:glumshoe:Sometimes a friend recommends a good book. Sometimes an enemy presses a gun to your temple and orders you to begin reading if you wish to draw another breath. My friend Franny uses an approach that is the exact
glumshoe:holy-anxiety-batman:glumshoe:baseball really is the best sport for vampires Explainbats
glumshoe:glumshoe:Lucy Lawless was not a particularly burly woman, but somehow she made Xena seem like a fucking tank and I don’t understand how. Don’t get me wrong—she was strong, and certainly not a waif, but more than almost any other female
glumshoe:tigerlily-monroe-deactivated202:glumshoe:any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit Like enslave humanity for the crimes they did to Mother Gaia?I said what I said
glumshoe:glumshoe:you could have it all:my empire of dirtmy kingdom of siltmy city-state of sandmy duchy of loammy barony of clay my hamlet of humusISO: a worthy heir
glumshoe:glumshoe:starting to feel like my dreams lately have a recurring theme last night I had this… abyss… in the middle of my torso. just a big hole where my naval should be that definitely did not lead to the inside of my body. I tried
glumshoe:glumshoe:Question: is “ho ho ho” something that Santa Claus says, like a catchphrase? A slogan? Or is it a verbal tic that he compulsively makes between sentences? Or is it supposed to be his genuine laugh? if it IS his laugh then why does
glumshoe: astronomical-bagel:glumshoe: Sometimes using tumblr is likeYou walk into a cafe. You order a coffee. “No cream,” you say.The person in line next to you says, “Bad idea. Black coffee can cause acid reflux.”You shrug. “Not a problem
glumshoe:mettic:glumshoe:dandelions deserve more respect than they getyou say “weeds” I say “widespread non-native edible plant and early-blooming pollinator resource that is not considered invasive because it behaves politely and does not cause
glumshoe:glumshoe:I have my dog a new bone and it seems to have unlocked some confusing new esoteric emotion in her. She picks it up and paces around the room whining uncertainly, and I don’t know why. She loves the bone, and is very concerned that
