dajo42
NSFW Tumblr
find dajo42 on porn pin board
dajo42 clips
dajo42: whether or not a woman shaves is hardly the biggest issue we have going on when the dragons are coming back and ulfric stormcloak murdered the high king WITH HIS VOICE. SHOUTED HIM APART
dajo42: when you get annoyed by the sound of people eating
dajo42: when you and your best friend both think the same thing
dajo42: “you can’t just respond to everything with finger guns”
dajo42: i had a dream last night that frosty the snowman was angry at me for calling him frosty the snowman and he was like “listen you rusty screw how would you like it if i called you fleshy the skinwoman”
dajo42: well heres something i have literally no memory of making
dajo42: hey there delilah what’s it like in new york city i’m a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty yes you do i installed a camera in your room i’m watching you
dajo42: “i’m a nice guy, why don’t bitches like me” well son, let me tell you about the birds and the bees. i have 100 birds and 100 bees in this box. they’re angry. i’m opening the box. they’re coming for you
dajo42: laid is pronounced like paid but not said and said is pronounced like bread but not bead and bead is pronounced like lead but not lead
dajo42: be careful of banana peels on the ground. you might freudian slip on them and hurt your clitoris. fuck, uh, i mean, your back
dajo42: alphaaraptor: original post [x] this is the happiest day of my life
dajo42: one time in an english class we were making notes about shakespeare’s life and the teacher was like “his father was a glove maker” and the guy next to me started laughing really hard so i looked over at him his pen had stopped working before
dajo42: “no prob bob”, or, more formally, “no probert robert”,
dajo42: fredead-weasley: The best damn thing about Quidditch is there’s no gender separation like wizards don’t give a fuck if youre boy or girl as long as you chuck that damn quaffle through the goal. nonbinary quidditch players-“are you a boy
dajo42:[pours water back and forth between beakers] im a sciencer
dajo42: age 4 me was very confused
dajo42: how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit
dajo42: a student walking to the edge of the hogwarts lake and saying “hello giant squid” and the squid surfaces and says “YOU ARE THE FIRST STUDENT TO TALK TO ME IN SIXTY YEARS” so the student sits down on a rock on the shore and they talk about
dajo42: give-castiel-a-dean: “have you ever watched the show Supern-”
dajo42:when people realise somebody is a douche but you knew the whole time and nobody believed you
dajo42: what a shame the poor groom’s bride is a succubus
dajo42: laid is pronounced like paid but not said and said is pronounced like bread but not bead and bead is pronounced like lead but not lead Arrrrghh
dajo42: [goes LARPing but as a generic background character who partakes in nothing and just says stock phrases to people as they walk past]
dajo42: she wears short skirts i wear short skirts he wears short skirts they wear short skirts everyone wears short skirts all the clothes in the world turned into short skirts overnight everybody’s terrified and i’m on the bleachers
dajo42: emo? no no you misheard i said i was BMO. im a cool genderless robot beep booping around not giving a heck
dajo42: it’s 2014 and we’re still putting down thin girls to raise up bigger girls because apparently the only way we know how to be positive to one group of women is to be misogynistic as fuck and shame another group i’m not on board with body
dajo42: “tea is just leaf water!” “yeah well coffee is just bean water!” wow, it’s. it’s like everything is made of things. this door is just wood rectangle. this poster is just ink paper. this lemonade is just lemon water.
dajo42: neat ways to flip somebody off
dajo42: reverse werewolves. wolves that turn into confused but excited humans every month at the full moon and run around doing weird human stuff until they wake up the next day in the middle of an office with a suit loosely draped over their wolf form
dajo42: skyrim is a lot like sex. there are many skills to master, many possible ways to do it, a dragon shows up halfway through,
dajo42: alternatives to “it was all just a dream” it was all just a story the narrator heard somebody else tell on the bus it was all just somebody rambling after getting their wisdom teeth out it was all just a feature length puppet show it was
dajo42: actually though you know what my absolute favourite thing about the harry potter franchise is hagrid names the giant three-headed mythical creature dog “fluffy” and the docile domestic hound “fang” good job hagrid
dajo42: whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”
dajo42: dress for the job you want, not the job you have. show up to your day job at mcdonalds in a spacesuit. who the fuck’s gonna stop the mcastronaut
dajo42: were a lot more stars visible to the dinosaurs because there was no light pollution? did they like the stars? did they know what they were or did they not care because they were busy being dinosaurs
dajo42: [takes off glasses to relax after a long day of having to see everything]
dajo42: two dads have a conversation “haha yes i’m going golfing on the weekend”“hello going golfing on the weekend, i’m dad”“hello dad, i’m dad”“hello dad, i’m dad”“hel̡lo ̀dad, ̢i͟’͜m̧
dajo42: it’s actually really easy to include gay characters that don’t die, what you do is, you just write a character, make them gay, and then don’t kill them
![dajo42: alphaaraptor: original post [x] this is the happiest day of my life](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9164df0a24ce9f5a9d7f3be756278669/tumblr_nqvr8voMrD1tpjrtho1_250.jpg)
![dajo42:[pours water back and forth between beakers] im a sciencer](https://64.media.tumblr.com/avatar_82dcda6133a9_128.png){kind=avatar}
![dajo42: [takes off glasses to relax after a long day of having to see everything]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2fa176e235ff37406a1d532820666b60/70152b43882d21bf-fe/s512x512u_c1/fbe1cba2dee08d7f6a33391e488a928fd1f9bd68.jpg)
