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“Let’s get on your laptop and look at something other than John’s blog.”

“Let’s get on your laptop and look at something other than John’s blog.”

“Are you Mary Morstan? Because those pants look so good on you, you’re putting the ass in assassin… twice.”

“Are you Mary Morstan? Because those pants look so good on you, you’re putting the ass in assassin… twice.”

“Why have a goldfish when you can have a silver fox?”

“Why have a goldfish when you can have a silver fox?”

“You’ve seen what these fingernails can do to a wood floor… Would you like me to leave some claw marks on your back?”

“You’ve seen what these fingernails can do to a wood floor… Would you like me to leave some claw marks on your back?”

“I would take off my clothes for you even if it was going to kill me.”

“I would take off my clothes for you even if it was going to kill me.”

“Who hunts in the middle of a crowd? Me on my way to steal yo girl.”

“Who hunts in the middle of a crowd? Me on my way to steal yo girl.”

“I always choose the right pill… Tonight I think it’ll be the Little Blue Pill.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.

“I always choose the right pill… Tonight I think it’ll be the Little Blue Pill.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.

“You know how most days aren’t good days? This is a good day… because I’m with you.”

“You know how most days aren’t good days? This is a good day… because I’m with you.”

“Are you Sebastian Moran? Because I wanna check out your ‘guns.’”

“Are you Sebastian Moran? Because I wanna check out your ‘guns.’”

“The fandom may call me Cupid, but I need some lovin’ of my own too.”

“The fandom may call me Cupid, but I need some lovin’ of my own too.”

“Break-ins aren’t my division, but I’ll make an exception if you wanna break into my bedroom.”

“Break-ins aren’t my division, but I’ll make an exception if you wanna break into my bedroom.”

“Your face isn’t the only part of you I’d like to lick.”

“Your face isn’t the only part of you I’d like to lick.”

“I would go on a romantic getaway with you even if I had to take Flight 007.”

“I would go on a romantic getaway with you even if I had to take Flight 007.”

“Your mustache ages you… Good thing I like older men.”

“Your mustache ages you… Good thing I like older men.”

“Your beauty is indescribable… No, seriously. I got killed because I started to describe you.”

“Your beauty is indescribable… No, seriously. I got killed because I started to describe you.”

“I’m such an animal in the bedroom, you’re gonna mistake me for a Baskerville experiment.”

“I’m such an animal in the bedroom, you’re gonna mistake me for a Baskerville experiment.”

“I’m sorry I let it all slide… How about banging something other than my tea on the table?”

“I’m sorry I let it all slide… How about banging something other than my tea on the table?”

“I can shoot my load better than Sebastian Moran can shoot a gun.”

“I can shoot my load better than Sebastian Moran can shoot a gun.”

“Your eyes are more colorful than John’s Christmas jumper.”

“Your eyes are more colorful than John’s Christmas jumper.”

“You can’t be allowed to continue being single. You just can’t.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“You can’t be allowed to continue being single. You just can’t.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“I’m so shocked by your beauty, I think I’ll need a blanket.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“I’m so shocked by your beauty, I think I’ll need a blanket.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“May I be the umbrella to your Mycroft? I want you to take me with you everywhere you go.”

“May I be the umbrella to your Mycroft? I want you to take me with you everywhere you go.”

“I’ve waited for you longer than the fandom has waited for Sebastian Moran.”

“I’ve waited for you longer than the fandom has waited for Sebastian Moran.”

“Are you a Baskerville Hound? Because you’ve been taking over my mind.”

“Are you a Baskerville Hound? Because you’ve been taking over my mind.”

“So, I heard you want the D… and I don’t mean your division.”

“So, I heard you want the D… and I don’t mean your division.”

“Your teeth are whiter than Molly’s lab coat.”

“Your teeth are whiter than Molly’s lab coat.”

“Are you Anderson? Because I want to ‘Phillip’ your hole with my cock.”

“Are you Anderson? Because I want to ‘Phillip’ your hole with my cock.”

“I don’t care if you’re wearing ‘gay’ underwear… I’m about to rip it off of you anyway.”

“I don’t care if you’re wearing ‘gay’ underwear… I’m about to rip it off of you anyway.”

“I would let you take a bite of my Appledore.”

“I would let you take a bite of my Appledore.”

“Is your last name Morstan? Because I wanna Mary you.”

“Is your last name Morstan? Because I wanna Mary you.”

“The handle of my umbrella isn’t the only thing I have that’s ribbed.”

“The handle of my umbrella isn’t the only thing I have that’s ribbed.”

“You’re hotter than the bonfire I put John in.”

“You’re hotter than the bonfire I put John in.”

“Wanna come to my Mori-party?”

“Wanna come to my Mori-party?”

“I’m sorry you don’t like Harold on my face… Perhaps you’d prefer him in between your thighs?”

“I’m sorry you don’t like Harold on my face… Perhaps you’d prefer him in between your thighs?”

“Without you, my world is as dark as Laura’s attire.”

“Without you, my world is as dark as Laura’s attire.”

“You don’t need to manipulate security cameras to convince me to get into your car.”

“You don’t need to manipulate security cameras to convince me to get into your car.”

“I want you in my life more permanently than a Black Lotus tattoo.”

“I want you in my life more permanently than a Black Lotus tattoo.”

“I know you like to hold your umbrella all the time, but I wish you would hold my hand instead.”

“I know you like to hold your umbrella all the time, but I wish you would hold my hand instead.”

“Why have Lestrade when you can have More-trade?”

“Why have Lestrade when you can have More-trade?”

“You’re the fence to my John… I can’t get over you.”

“You’re the fence to my John… I can’t get over you.”

“Just call me a Baskerville Hound, because I can’t keep my paws off of you.”

“Just call me a Baskerville Hound, because I can’t keep my paws off of you.”

“Your wit is sharper than Irene Adler’s heels.”

“Your wit is sharper than Irene Adler’s heels.”

“Broadly speaking, I’d like to have a ‘function’ in your ‘narrative.’“

“Broadly speaking, I’d like to have a ‘function’ in your ‘narrative.’“

“I’m not a plot device… The only function I want in your narrative is love interest.”

“I’m not a plot device… The only function I want in your narrative is love interest.”

“You make me want to scrub your floors and wear men’s deodorant.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“You make me want to scrub your floors and wear men’s deodorant.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“Unlike my work for the British government, I occupy a major position in the bedroom.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“Unlike my work for the British government, I occupy a major position in the bedroom.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“If you needed a shoulder to cry on, I would volunteer on no less than three separate occasions.”

“If you needed a shoulder to cry on, I would volunteer on no less than three separate occasions.”

“I may be king in this world of locked rooms, but I still haven’t unlocked your heart.”Submitted by anonymous.

“I may be king in this world of locked rooms, but I still haven’t unlocked your heart.”Submitted by anonymous.

“I am the closest thing to a friend you are capable of having: A lover.”

“I am the closest thing to a friend you are capable of having: A lover.”

“I want to experiment with you… and I don’t mean in the Baskerville kind of way.”

“I want to experiment with you… and I don’t mean in the Baskerville kind of way.”

“The man with the key is king. How’d you like to be my queen?”

“The man with the key is king. How’d you like to be my queen?”

“My suit may be Westwood, but I can give you wood in any direction you like.”

“My suit may be Westwood, but I can give you wood in any direction you like.”

“I don’t just want the D… I want the D.I.”

“I don’t just want the D… I want the D.I.”

“Is your name Lestrade? Because your hair may be silver, but your heart is pure gold.”

“Is your name Lestrade? Because your hair may be silver, but your heart is pure gold.”

“I’m gonna need something bigger than Appledore to store all the reasons why I love you.”

“I’m gonna need something bigger than Appledore to store all the reasons why I love you.”

“I want to go steady with you– steadier than John’s left hand under stress.”

“I want to go steady with you– steadier than John’s left hand under stress.”

“So, I hear you’re abnormally attracted to dangerous situations and people. I can conform to that pattern if you’d like.”

“So, I hear you’re abnormally attracted to dangerous situations and people. I can conform to that pattern if you’d like.”

“I would make you my bride even if you were abominable.”

“I would make you my bride even if you were abominable.”

“When you’re away, I miss you more than John misses the battlefield.”

“When you’re away, I miss you more than John misses the battlefield.”

“You’re carved into my heart like I.O.U. on an apple.”

“You’re carved into my heart like I.O.U. on an apple.”

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