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“I love you more than John Watson loves jumpers.” Submitted by rightinthefangirl.

“You are more indispensable than my homeless network.”

“When people call me a freak, they mean in bed.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“You may be on the side of the angels, but we’re gonna have one Hell of a night.” Submitted by thereisnoshameinbeingcrazy.

“I’d like to fiddle with you when I’m thinking– and I’m not talking about playing the violin.” Inspired by this (source unknown).

“I would sniff your second hand smoke even if I wasn’t going through cigarette withdrawals.”

“Are you holding my heart at gunpoint? Because I think I’m falling for you.” Submitted by anonymous.

“I’ll eat you out even though digestion slows me down.”

“Forget the lipstick-matching present– let’s unwrap you.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I don’t care if you boast a lot– I’ll still tell you bedtime stories.”

“I’m crazy for you, and not in a Project H.O.U.N.D. kind of way.” One of my real-life friends suggested a “crazy for you” line with Henry a long time ago, but I can’t remember which one, sooooo… This is me not

“I don’t have to die if I’ve got you– and believe me, I will have you.”

“I would buy you a deerstalker even if the rest of Scotland Yard didn’t pitch in.”

“You know what they say about big feet? Well, just call me Carl Powers.”

“I bet I can keep you wetter than Soo Lin Yao’s teapots.”

“I hope Mycroft never gets off your sheet.” Inspired by this (submitted by sherlockian4life13).

“You’re more valuable to me than a nine million pound jade hairpin.”

“Are you my blogger? Because I’d be lost without you.”

“Of course we won’t be needing two bedrooms.”

“I’ve been lonely ever since you ensured my husband’s execution.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I would show off at your trial just to get locked in a cell with you.”

“Face the other way. You’re getting me off.”

“You make me so stiff, Molly mistook me for one of her cadavers.”

“I like my partners the way I like my wall decorations: Music-loving and horny.”

“Wanna see what’s Under my Shaw?” Seriously though, save Undershaw!

“Don’t you want me on the floor too? And on the bed, and on the couch, and on the table, and against the wall…” Submitted by anonymous.

“I’d say I love you, but then I’d have to kill you.” Submitted by the-improbable-1.

“Dear Jim, I’m in love with you. Won’t you fix it for me?” Submitted by anonymous.

“Since you blew your nose on the lady from the train’s number, would you like mine instead?” Submitted by anonymous.

“Even if I knew nothing about you, I would flat share with you.” Submitted by anonymous.

“Even if I was the St. Bart’s traffic cone, I wouldn’t tell you to slow down.”

“I don’t need a good coat and a short friend to look ‘tall,’ if you get what I mean.”

“Mrs. Turner has married ones. How about you and I be Mrs. Hudson’s married ones?”

“You can ride me if you want. I even come with a riding crop!”

“You make me so giddy, I’m giggling even at crime scenes.”

“Well, I do believe that my pupils have dilated!” Submitted by crows-flight.

“Forget my sociopathy; you should do your research on my high-functioning penis.”

“If you were my drug, a seven percent solution wouldn’t be enough.”

“If I had a silly-looking jumper for every time I thought of you, I’d be John Watson.”

“I’d love to have a look around your top-secret areas.” Submitted (with photo) by cumberbitchsandwich.

“Forget dead pigs– want to see what I can penetrate with my other harpoon?”

“I would come to your flat even if I was on the other side of town and it could be dangerous.”

“The fridge? Please, I know a better place for you to put your fingers.”

“When I’m retired and studying bees, will you be my honey?”

“Sometimes you don’t talk for days on end? That’s fine. I can give you something else to do with your mouth.”

“It would be the end of the world to me if your landlady were to cockblock us.”

“If you give me your heart, I promise I won’t put it in the fridge.”

“I’d love to get under your sheets. Especially if you were still wearing them.”

“I’m more desperate for you than Mycroft is for tea on a train.” Inspired by a tweet from Mark Gatiss.

“Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but notice the state of your knees…” Submitted by absolutelyhetero.

“I knew it was dangerous getting you into crap telly. I should get you into my bed instead.”

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you, so I had to put them in the microwave.”

“If your flatmate punched you in the face, I would kiss it better.”

“I named our dog Gladstone because you make me happy and hard.”

“Boys, please, not here. Let’s take it to my bedroom.” Submitted (with photo) by somenerdygirl.

“I love you more than John loves jam.” Submitted by xhowisharveywallbangeronewordx.

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