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“Can I come over? I’ll scrub your floors, if you get what I mean.”
“It’s a drugs bust. I’ll bring the drugs; you bring the bust.”
“I would frequent cafes just to have a meeting with you.”
“You’re gonna need a blanket when you see the size of my cock.”
“Want to see how far down this tan really goes?” Submitted by turtleplz.
“People who don’t find me attractive? Not my division.”
“I’d share deodorant with you even if it was for men.”
“I know caring is not an advantage, but that hasn’t stopped me from caring about you.”
“Your Moves Like Jagger make me want to Stay Alive.”
“I put the ‘wood’ in 'Westwood.’”
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“Will you join my football team and raise five children with me?”
“I have cake in both hands; I’ll have to use my mouth.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Wanna see where my division really is?” Submitted by itsnotokaytolickyourfriends.
“You have very sexy skin that I wouldn’t mind making into shoes.” Submitted by britishentertainmentobsession.
“Wanna see MY crown jewels?” Submitted by custardcreems.
“You can stand under my umbrella.” Submitted by anonymous.
“Let me be your Action Man. Your brother won’t be able to break me.”
“Is your meat dagger on Twitter? Because I’d like to get that on text alert.”
“I fell for you harder than Rupert Graves in the gag reel.”
“I would date a sociopath just to make you wonder if it was serious.”
“I would love you even if you stabbed my hand with a fork.”
“You don’t need to pay £2,995 to be my V.I.P.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, followers! My love for you all is… immortal ;)
“If you meet me on the roof, a gun won’t be the only thing I put in my mouth.”
“I want you to ‘meat’ my ‘dagger.’“
Merry Christmas, Tumblr! If any of you want to finish that fic, I’ll reblog the best ones.
“Now why don’t you stop beating that corpse and put that riding crop to good use?â€Submitted by @call-me-mrs-moriarty.
“I would let you in my house even if you were a reptile.â€
“I would smile at you on a bus even if you didn’t have a daisy behind your ear.â€
“I have a problem… and there is only one way that I can solve it… I need to kiss someone.â€
“Show me your Lady Bracknell and I’ll give you my salty seaman.”Submitted (with photo suggestion) by a user who requested to remain anonymous.
“If you came to my house in the middle of the night, my umbrella sword isn’t the only thing I’d be whipping out.”
“Are you the well that Victor Trevor died in? Because I’m about to go deep inside you and feel how wet you are.”
“I could never forget you, even if my dad gave me TD12.”
“No balloon could ever be a substitute for you.”
“Are you Eurus’s cell? Because I refuse to stay at least three feet away from you.”
“Would you like to have a night of passion in High Wycombe with me?”
“You can call me Giles if I can call you mine.”
“Are you Culverton Smith? Because you take my breath away.”
“Are you one of the boys from the cafe? Because I would let you drop me… into your bed.”
“You make me even more incredibly happy than killing human beings does.”
“If you were credit, I would take you even after John published his blog.”
“I would let you give me a hug even if I didn’t need to send and delete a text on your phone.”
“We’re not like the gravestones at Musgrave Hall. Our dates will never be wrong.”
“I hope nobody needs to say ‘Norbury’ to me when I ask you out.”
“I usually make clients sit in The Chair, but you can sit on my face if you’d prefer.”
“Are you the R in A.G.R.A.? Because you’re the rose of my world.”
“Mycroft is right about the list of people who love me not being long, but you’re the only one I need on it anyway.”
“I would let you look in my ‘lymph nodes’ even if I wasn’t missing my limbs.”
“My love for you is so strong, not even Sherrinford could contain it.”
“Forget the Thatcher busts. The only bust I’m interested in is yours.”
“Your ass is like Rosie’s rattle: If you keep throwing it in my face, I’ll keep grabbing it.”
“The Borgia Pearl is too boring for me, but I’d love to make you my Borgia girl.”
“The ‘sixteen by six’ in Eurus’s song is actually referring to the length and circumference of my penis.”
The best of postmortem Jim (seasons three and four), based on number of notes.
I… I don’t even know, you guys. It was supposed to be something cute with Rosie’s first Easter and some domestic Johnlock, but then there was a murder bunny and an infant somehow able to solve crimes and it all turned to crack. I regret nothing.Hap
In Eurus’s defense, Sharon from the PTA totally deserved to have her head severed and stuffed with candy.Happy Mother’s Day, all!~ Froggy, your admin
