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“How about I smear myself with jam when we get home and let you lick it off?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I would fake kill myself for your sake.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I would read your blog even if it wasn’t about me.”
“If convenient, meet me in my bedroom. If inconvenient, come anyway.”
“If we were at a restaurant together, I wouldn’t deny that you were my date.”
“I wouldn’t put on pants for you.” Submitted by britishrandominsanity.
“If you’d let me, I’d twiddle you all day and night.”
“If you think my cheekbones are prominent, just wait until you see the bone in my pants.”
“I’d like to get a double room in Dartmoor with you.”
“My dick is so huge, my doggy style is referred to as Baskerville Hound style.”
“My chemical defect for you could never put me on the losing side.”
“When I said I was hoping you’d go deeper, I wasn’t talking about your analysis.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I’d hit that 1895 times.”
“It’s a good thing I find breathing boring, because you take my breath away.”
“I regret deleting the solar system, because you are out of this world.”
“I would rather have you than the skull.” Submitted by anonymous.
“You are really my area.”
“I’d go on a second date with you even if we got kidnapped by Chinese smugglers during our first.”
“We’re so domestic, people are even shipping our mugs.”
“Would you like to be wearing this jumper tomorrow morning?” Submitted by herbailiwick.
“I can’t take my eyes off of you… No, really. I can’t. It’s for an experiment.”
“If you’re a hedgehog, can I be your hedge?”
“I like the turn-ups on your jeans. Wanna be my boy’s father?”
“I suggest we do that thing where two people who like each other go out and have fun.”
“I like your strong moral principle and nerves of steel, and that’s not just the shock talking.”
“You are more indispensable than my homeless network.”
“You know what they say about big feet? Well, just call me Carl Powers.”
“Are you my blogger? Because I’d be lost without you.”
“I don’t need a good coat and a short friend to look ‘tall,’ if you get what I mean.”
“Mrs. Turner has married ones. How about you and I be Mrs. Hudson’s married ones?”
“I just met you, and this is crazy, but I know everything about you, so come live with me maybe?” Submitted by anonymous.
“You make me so giddy, I’m giggling even at crime scenes.”
“I noticed that you put product in your hair… So do I, if you get what I mean.”
“When I’m retired and studying bees, will you be my honey?”
“You’ve never been the most luminous of people, but you brighten up my world.” Submitted by anonymous.
“Are we doing it? Have we done it?”
“You make me so happy, I spray painted a smiley face on our wall.”
“On my face. Come at once, if convenient. If inconvenient, come anyway.”
“I don’t know what you might deduce about my brother’s heart, but I’ll gladly tell you about mine.”
“Forget tobacco ash. I’d rather blog two hundred and forty-three reasons why I love you.”
“I don’t smoke, don’t frequent cafes, don’t fuck men… You know, I make many exceptions when I’m around you.” Submitted by Viljatuuli (no username).
“I would spend all of my free time with you in the back of Mycroft’s limousine.” Submitted (with photo) by suddenlyshort.
“Without you, my heart feels as empty as my hearse.”
“How about we both skip your birthday dinner so I can show you my ‘thing’?”
“Only lies have detail, so I won’t elaborate on how much I love you.”
“I have an international reputation for loving you.” Submitted by cricketshuman.
“I’d get stabbed in the shower just so you’d examine my body.”
“You make a really hot Guy, and I’m not just talking about the Fawkes effigy.”
“Call me Shezza, because I’m going undercover… Under your covers, that is.”
“I was so scared of you leaving me that I started doing napkin origami.”
“Can I whisper how much I love you? NOT REALLY!”
“I’m sorry I came back from the dead with a French accent. Next time I tell you big news I’ll give you something else French.”
“If you married someone else, I would leave your wedding early.”
“Undercover about my feelings for you? WELL I’M NOT NOW!”
“You may have made my arm squishy, but you’ve made something else of mine rock hard.”
“I would jump out of a cake for you even if I wasn’t revealing that I faked my death.”
“I still love you even though your mustache doesn’t rub off.”
“The game is something, but you are everything.”
“I’m not very good at expressing my feelings, so please understand what I mean when I say that my name is actually a girl’s name.”
“I would love you even if you messed up my sock index.”
