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“If I broke into your home, would you have a cup of tea with me?”
“I.O.U. a threesome.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Playing games with you makes my brain explode. In a good way.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Sherly– you’re my division.” Submitted by somepeaceplease.
“Leave the wall alone. If you’re bored, I’ll gladly take a pounding from you.”
“I baked you a gingerbread cookie. Sorry it’s burnt.”
“You could never repel me.”
“If you take off that bedsheet, I’ll show you my battle dress.” Submitted by bumpershoot.
“I always hear ‘kiss me on the mouth’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.
“You can X-ray my possessions if you want.”
“Would you like to go round and round the garden like a teddy bear with me?”
“I always hear ‘sit on my face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by verity-burns.
“Wanna change Moriarty’s nickname for you?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I’ll help you excrete the drug out of your system.” Submitted by maskedcity.
“I would drink your coffee even if the sugar was drugged.”
“So, you’ve got a boyfriend then? I’ll have you either way. It’s all fine.”
“If I met you at work, I’d totally leave my number under a dish.”
“I’ll be the knife and you be the Cluedo board: Let me pin you against the wall.”
“I would chase you all over London even if my limp wasn’t psychosomatic.”
“The flirting’s not over. I could never have enough of you.”
“I would take your hand even if we weren’t handcuffed fugitives.”
“I know you don’t want anything, but I bet I can change your mind.”
“Oh, so the Internet thinks you look like an otter? Well, I think you otter be in my bed.”
“I would have you right here even if you didn’t beg for mercy.” Submitted by anonymous.
“I’d like to snuggle under a blanket with you even if we weren’t in shock.”
“Beg for mercy twice? …Please, I won’t stop there.” Submitted by j-abberwocky.
“I like the ball that I brought to Bart’s, but I’d much rather play with your balls.”
“You had me at ‘How fresh?’” Submitted by mykittyisbeautiful.
“You had me at ‘Afghanistan or Iraq?’” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Wanna know how I suddenly became Mr. Sex?”
“I would ‘coordinate’ with you and a pair of handcuffs in a dark alley anytime.”
“I’d wait for you even if you kept me as long as Mofftiss kept the Sherlockians.”
“You may be on the side of the angels, but we’re gonna have one Hell of a night.” Submitted by thereisnoshameinbeingcrazy.
“I’d like to fiddle with you when I’m thinking– and I’m not talking about playing the violin.” Inspired by this (source unknown).
“I don’t care if you boast a lot– I’ll still tell you bedtime stories.”
“I’m crazy for you, and not in a Project H.O.U.N.D. kind of way.” One of my real-life friends suggested a “crazy for you” line with Henry a long time ago, but I can’t remember which one, sooooo… This is me not
“I would buy you a deerstalker even if the rest of Scotland Yard didn’t pitch in.”
“I hope Mycroft never gets off your sheet.” Inspired by this (submitted by sherlockian4life13).
“Of course we won’t be needing two bedrooms.”
“I’ve been lonely ever since you ensured my husband’s execution.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I want to introduce you to my pussy– and I’m not talking about Toby.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Even if I knew nothing about you, I would flat share with you.” Submitted by anonymous.
“Even if I was the St. Bart’s traffic cone, I wouldn’t tell you to slow down.”
“I don’t need a good coat and a short friend to look ‘tall,’ if you get what I mean.”
“Want to go to Buckingham Palace and color-coordinate our ties?”
“I’m going to write you a love letter… I don’t have to prove it; I just have to print it.”
“Stabbing isn’t the only thing I’d like to do to you in the shower.”
“I would date a sociopath just to make you wonder if it was serious.”
“You don’t need to pay £2,995 to be my V.I.P.”
“May I be the umbrella to your Mycroft? I want you to take me with you everywhere you go.â€
“I would name my daughter after you even if your first name was William.â€
“I want to text you more often than Irene texted Sherlock.â€
“You’re the stars to my Sherlock: I think you’re beautiful even when I don’t understand you.â€
“John says I tend to rub people up the wrong way, but I bet I can rub you right where you like it.â€
“We can’t eat in the kitchen because Sherlock keeps experiments in it. Shall I take you out to dinner instead?â€
“Finding someone as beautiful as you is more difficult than getting Sherlock to follow the rules of Cluedo.â€
“So, I hear you’re abnormally attracted to dangerous situations and people. I can conform to that pattern if you’d like.â€
“I would put on a black veil and pretend to be a client just to see you.â€
“If you and I had an appointment in Samarra, I would never go to Sumatra and become a pirate instead.â€
“I don’t need to be actually wetting myself in order to tell the truth about how much I love you.”
