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“I think you just turned me straight. Let’s have dinner.”
“I don’t consult you just because I’m desperate.”
“Sherlock says that I’m a spider. How’d you like to get tangled up in my web?”
“I didn’t need five minutes to feel that we had a special something.”
“I may not be your brother’s handler, but I’ll do everything you tell me to.”
“Let me be your Action Man. Your brother won’t be able to break me.”
“You’re more valuable to me than a nine million pound jade hairpin.”
“I would show off at your trial just to get locked in a cell with you.”
“I’d love to have a look around your top-secret areas.” Submitted (with photo) by cumberbitchsandwich.
“Irene Adler shouldn’t be the only one you recognize from ‘not her face.’”
“I would disguise myself as a wounded vicar just to get invited into your home.”
“When I tried to deduce you, the floating text turned into erotica.”
“I would ensure your husband’s death in Florida just to be with you.”
“I promise not to shout Graham, Gavin, or Geoff during sex.”
“When I said ‘I’m just going to whip this out,’ I didn’t mean my detective equipment.” (Inspired by this post.)
“Forget faking my genius… Want to see a different sort of magic trick?” Based on a suggestion by anonymous.
“If you think Sherlock’s a freak, just wait until you see me in the bedroom.”
“When you called me ‘nurse,’ were you really just making do, or were you trying to roleplay?”
“My mustache isn’t the only thing I’d shave for you.” Submitted by Courtney (no username).
“Will you be the Robin to my Hat-Man?”
“Can I touch your Belstaff?”
“I would turn back your watch during your friend’s fake suicide just to spend more time with you.”
“I think about Redbeard when I want to calm down, but I think about you when I want to get excited.”
“Forget the crime scene… The only body I want to be checking out is yours.”
“Is your meat dagger on Twitter? Because I’d like to get that on text alert.”
“You’re the only cabbie whose head is not the only thing I want to see.” Submitted by unicorn-enthusiast.
“I know your friends don’t all hate you. I only wrote that essay so I could have you all to myself.”
“I’m not just a soldier, doctor, and blogger… I’m also a lover.”
“Judging by the turn-ups on your jeans, you’d be a pretty good father to my children.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“So, you say you’re on fire… Sounds like you need my hose.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.
“Me wearing antlers is best left to the imagination, but me wearing nothing at all is a must-see.”
“You don’t need a fake drugs bust to get into my flat.”
“Are you a blonde drug smuggler? Because I’d disguise myself as a monk just to see your face.â€
“You should pop ‘round to Baker Street. Who knows? Something might jump out of my pants.â€Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Are you a Holmes brother? Because you are smoking.â€
“My shirt buttons may strain to get away from me, but I bet you won’t.â€
“You don’t need to manipulate security cameras to convince me to get into your car.â€
“Is your name Janine? Because I would become a tabloid just to make you my whore.â€
“Writing my best man speech for your wedding was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… because I wasn’t the one you were marrying.â€
“Will you be the microwave to my eyeballs? I want to be inside you.â€
“I don’t just want you to be the shadow that defines my every sunny day– I want you to be my future too.â€
“Forget the pigeon from The Blind Banker. If you want to see a bird, let me show you my cock.â€
“Your beauty is to die for… or at least fake die for so Moriarty’s sniper doesn’t shoot you.â€
“You’re fancier than the restaurant John tried to propose to Mary in.â€
“Is your name Irene Adler? Because I want to see you naked even though we just met.â€
“Are you Irene Adler? Because I’d like to keep a picture of you in my pocket watch.â€Based on a suggestion by @cat-n-claw.
“I would help a drug addict dig up a one hundred and twenty year old grave just to spend time with you.â€
“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.â€
“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.â€
“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.â€
“From a drop of water, a logician should be able to infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara, but they’re gonna need a hell of a lot more than that to infer how wet I can make you.â€
“Are you Eustace Carmichael? Because I want to be with you until five orange pips do us part.â€
“I want to say ‘I love you’ to you more often than Holmes says ‘features of interest.’“
“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.â€
“I want my mind palace to have your details so perfect, I won’t need drugs to be immersed in them.â€
“Would you like to have a night of passion in High Wycombe with me?”
“I would let you give me a hug even if I didn’t need to send and delete a text on your phone.”
“I hope nobody needs to say ‘Norbury’ to me when I ask you out.”
“Planning our dates will be easy. I know exactly where we’ll need to be picked up for lunch two weeks from now.”
I… I don’t even know, you guys. It was supposed to be something cute with Rosie’s first Easter and some domestic Johnlock, but then there was a murder bunny and an infant somehow able to solve crimes and it all turned to crack. I regret nothing.Hap
