that is my mom
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pastel-fluff-witch: voidbat: mishasassbutt: mishasassbutt: my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she
annethecatdetective:thesaltofcarthage:mcsqu1bb:mcsqu1bb:mcsqu1bb:mcsqu1bb:My autistic brother created a new family Christmas traditionOkay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named BarryThis is himCute, right?Well, for
voidbat: mishasassbutt: mishasassbutt: my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were
acanthepeira: anexperimentallife: This whole thread is cool and wholesome. My mom always taught me that complimenting someone over something they decided on, like an outfit they put together, is the nicest way to show your appreciation!
Its not like I don’t appreciate the fact that my mom is giving me a place to call home, having enough food for three meals a day, having plenty of water, a bed, etc, but no matter what, I get so stressed out just even being here when everyone else is
mother-teresa-with-a-dick: voidbat: mishasassbutt: mishasassbutt: my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because
blacklongfellow: Tired and horny from my move to Louisiana. Moved here to be closer to my son, Dominic. We recently started fuckin’ around and I’ve been diggin Dominic’s booty out on the regular; that is until his moms decided to pick up and
theladypipsqueak: salparadisewasright: theladypipsqueak: MY MOM DECIDED THAT SINCE I FUCKING HATE CLEANING THE LITTERBOX FOR MY DUMB CATS SHE’S ACTUALLY MAKE ME A FUCKING LITTERBOX CAKE. THIS IS A FUCKING CAKE. THOSE ARE SLIGHTLY MELTED TOOTSIE ROLLS.
After I had removed her dress and played with her tits a bit, my sister gracefully sat on the couch while I undressed.“Is that the outfit Mom took you to buy the other day?” I asked as I draped my pants over a nearby chair.She nodded and I smirked. “Does
unclefather: my mom is getting so mad because we’re packing to move and she’s going through my high school notebooks and this all she’s seeing. she said “oh would you look at that. another dick”
upperstories: nooby-banana: thatonefatass: mayonneighs: whipmyfrobackandforth: mayonneighs: I’m stupid I just noticed Vanellope’s skirt is supposed to be reeses cup rappers ah-duh oh my god one of her legs is double striped does that mean
lexicution3r: lexicution3r: my mom is scREAMING downstairs right now about how there’s no chocolate. “How can we NOT HAVE CHOCOLATE IN THIS HOUSE?” “How is there NO CHOCOLATE???” “DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE A WHALE HANGING FROM
internscout: huckly: I needed a paperclip and my mom tried to give me these ~novelty~ dog bone things: and I hope you understand why this is a terrible design for a paperclip okay but that is a BONEr right there
internscout: huckly: I needed a paperclip and my mom tried to give me these ~novelty~ dog bone things:and I hope you understand why this is a terrible design for a paperclip okay but that is a BONEr right there
lifewithasideofbacon: lifewithasideofbacon: I walked into my bathroom back home, saw this, walked out and screamed into a pillow. (I’d mentioned a few times before that my mom is going through a bear themed decor phase) Instead of the mirror I just
horniestincest: One of the best parts about my mom working at home is that she can make a conference call while riding my cock.
shananon: littlescarlett: terminallycapricious: poogs: cheeeeeeen: captnotatroll: For the record my mom can pretty much name every Pokemon Your dad is so quality PAYOTI AND BELLYRUB FUCK My dad would say pretty much the same. that guy QUALITY
Ok. I’m starting to have an anxiety attack and I really need to write. I’m lost at the moment. I barely have any funds. I haven’t been this dependent on family in a while. I’m pretty stressed about everything. My mom is on my ass, saying that
incextson: drlove1951: brennomc: Me and my mum all day I’d like to tried it with her also is she available for me That’d be me and my mom! I just love kissing her so much! 😍🤤
ourmkmblog: My mom is so proud of me. I sent her these pics and she told me that I am such a hard worker. 😇👋💪💪.I hope this is the right tool to cut this tree down😳
Never had this problem. In fact, my mom is coming down to Rutgers on Easter to feed all my friends that aren’t going home.
welp, I’m functionally half-disowned, because my mom is trying to deal with things and my dad never wants to see me again. so that’s exciting.
cummy4mommy: My mom literally worships me now that my dad is out of the picture.
s-pirite: ok i just made that milkshake and i think i put way a lot of strawberries in it plus it seems like baby’s puke )but pink) plus my mom will get mad because i almost broke three plates wow i think if i ever get married my husband is gon ask
kentuckymeatshower: this website is really uniquely terrible in nearly every way but where else am i gonna put my posts about batman being named after bruce springsteen. do i post that on facebook? do i email my mom
irestinpieces: this-is-chris-colfers-world: hey-bad-batter-hey: imjustkt: iraffiruse: Frozach Submitted My mom is a travel agent and I can confirm that people are legitimately this stupid when it comes to travel. “It took us 9 hours to get
tf2crazy: advils: plantie: nosdrinker: advils: Looking in my parents closet I’m going to throw up this is hell Whaaaat, parents have a sexual life? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo … seriously, grow up please. if accepting the fact that my mom uses nipple
mayorlois: live-withvi0let: Oh btw my mom made me an animal crossing cake for my birthday. THAT is the cutest, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
stealthboy: you guys see this? this is my favorite gift that ive ever given my mom. youre probably thinking “oh because its cute and heart shaped” guess again i got a story sit down i made this thing in wood shop when i was in like 7th grade. you
steven-universe-confessions: I got emotional when he defended his mom, and the birthday episode D: oh man I almost lost it, just needed to let that out lol, no one I know watched the show :3
ben-levin: toffany: forever grateful that my mom tried to keep up with my interests– even when things got a little lost in translation This is the funniest thing ever.
I’m sure I’ve said this before but while SU is full of so many amazing singers who’ve yet to sing that I’d absolutely love to hear, I’d most love to hear a song from Connie’s mom ‘cause Mary E. McGlynn has been one of my all-time favorite
bbcformyfamily: my-mother-is-a-whore: My mom and aunt always get to go on business trips together, their bosses know even through they aren’t even qualified tomwork there that they both used to be whores. They make a great team
aviculor: swiftswagger: priest-of-rage: ravenouscomplex: niknak79: How to make your monitor only visible to you THAT IS REALLY COOL If my mom saw me staring at my laptop with nothing but a blank screen it would go one of two ways. She would either
magneito: magneito: magneito: does it smell like updog in here?? this is literally the oldest joke in the universe i cannot fucking believe you fell for this i tried to make my mom fall for it and she said “updog? is that a yoga position?? stop
wretchedsilence: damittromney: my-name-is-long: damittromney: next up on having a vagina: are these cramps or should i tell my mom to take me to the hospital Yeah that happened to me in 2012 and it turns out I have 2 uteruses. whAT THE FUCK Never
skammmed: fun fact: my parents got married on april fools day so when i was 7 i tried to be funny and i made them an anniversary card that said ‘your marriage is a joke’ and my mom cried
porkot: I WAS IN THE KITCHEN AND I SAW SOME SMOKE AND I POINTED AT IT AND I SAID “WHATS THAT SMOKING” AND MY MOM SAID “OH YOU MEAN ME?” AND FLIPPED HER HAIR AND I SAY NO THERES SOMETHING ACTUALLY ON FIRE AND SHES LIKE “OH MY GOD THERE IS”
avatarparallels: i kataangchristmas: It really seems like my whole life Katara’s been the one looking out for me. She’s always been the one that’s here. And now when I try to remember my mom, Katara’s face is the only face I can picture.
thefuuuucomics: priest-of-rage: ravenouscomplex: niknak79: How to make your monitor only visible to you THAT IS REALLY COOL If my mom saw me staring at my laptop with nothing but a blank screen it would go one of two ways. She would either A: Accept
veggieblt: WE’RE EATING OUR CHRISTMAS MEAL AND MY MOM SAID SHE WATCHED A REALLY BIASED DOCUMENTARY ABOUNT ANIME AND NOW SHE THINKS THAT ALL I WATCH IS REALLY VIOLENT YAOI THIS IS THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVER
mishasassbutt: mishasassbutt: my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy
skammmed:fun fact: my parents got married on april fools day so when i was 7 i tried to be funny and i made them an anniversary card that said ‘your marriage is a joke’ and my mom cried
fandom–explosion: pylertalma: pylertalma: infinitywithoutparallel: pylertalma: My mom sent me a tiny man that I have to bury in the ground. Catholicism is wild Wtf does this mean I’m moving and selling my house and apparently there’s a
