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“May I be the umbrella to your Mycroft? I want you to take me with you everywhere you go.”

“May I be the umbrella to your Mycroft? I want you to take me with you everywhere you go.”

“You don’t need to decipher passenger jet seat allocations in order to get a kiss from me.”

“You don’t need to decipher passenger jet seat allocations in order to get a kiss from me.”

“I’ve not been murdered yet, but I’ll die if you don’t love me back.”

“I’ve not been murdered yet, but I’ll die if you don’t love me back.”

“Solving crimes isn’t the only thing that gets me off.”

“Solving crimes isn’t the only thing that gets me off.”

“You don’t need to be a vicar with a bleeding face in order to see me naked.”

“You don’t need to be a vicar with a bleeding face in order to see me naked.”

“Someone stalking me isn’t the only ‘personal matter’ I’d like to write to you about.”

“Someone stalking me isn’t the only ‘personal matter’ I’d like to write to you about.”

“Mrs. Hudson offered me a cup of tea, but I’d much rather have a drink of you.”

“Mrs. Hudson offered me a cup of tea, but I’d much rather have a drink of you.”

“My shirt buttons may strain to get away from me, but I bet you won’t.”

“My shirt buttons may strain to get away from me, but I bet you won’t.”

“You don’t need to make me inhale Project H.O.U.N.D. fog in order to take my breath away.”

“You don’t need to make me inhale Project H.O.U.N.D. fog in order to take my breath away.”

“You don’t need to manipulate security cameras to convince me to get into your car.”

“You don’t need to manipulate security cameras to convince me to get into your car.”

“Just call me a Baskerville Hound, because I can’t keep my paws off of you.”

“Just call me a Baskerville Hound, because I can’t keep my paws off of you.”

“John says I’m a machine… Want to see if you can turn me on?”

“John says I’m a machine… Want to see if you can turn me on?”

“Graham, Gavin, Geoff… I can be whoever you want me to be.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“Graham, Gavin, Geoff… I can be whoever you want me to be.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“Anderson, face the other way. You’re making me blush.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“Anderson, face the other way. You’re making me blush.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“You make me want to scrub your floors and wear men’s deodorant.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“You make me want to scrub your floors and wear men’s deodorant.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“Scold me like Irene Adler scolded Kate Middleton.”

“Scold me like Irene Adler scolded Kate Middleton.”

“I must be 221b’s wallpaper, because you’re making me smile.”

“I must be 221b’s wallpaper, because you’re making me smile.”

“You don’t need to force me to jump off of Bart’s in order to make my heart soar.”

“You don’t need to force me to jump off of Bart’s in order to make my heart soar.”

“You make me feel more alive than Moriarty’s ringtone.”

“You make me feel more alive than Moriarty’s ringtone.”

“I could deduce everything about you, but I’d much rather you tell me about yourself.”

“I could deduce everything about you, but I’d much rather you tell me about yourself.”

“I’m the perfect boyfriend: I’m very loyal, very quickly, and I’m not interested in anything your brother offers me.”

“I’m the perfect boyfriend: I’m very loyal, very quickly, and I’m not interested in anything your brother offers me.”

“My bed is cozier than John’s jumpers. Don’t believe me? Come see for yourself.”

“My bed is cozier than John’s jumpers. Don’t believe me? Come see for yourself.”

“Are you Jonathan Small’s belt blade? Because I want you inside of me.”

“Are you Jonathan Small’s belt blade? Because I want you inside of me.”

“Your feelings for me are more obvious than the password on John’s computer.”

“Your feelings for me are more obvious than the password on John’s computer.”

“Moriarty may be a spider, but I hear you’re the one who has me all over your web history.”

“Moriarty may be a spider, but I hear you’re the one who has me all over your web history.”

“Sherlock knows more about the solar system than you do about me… Want to fix that?”

“Sherlock knows more about the solar system than you do about me… Want to fix that?”

“Will you be the Sherlock to my Buckingham Palace? I want you inside of me with no clothes on.”

“Will you be the Sherlock to my Buckingham Palace? I want you inside of me with no clothes on.”

“Don’t leave me hanging. I’m not the mannequin in 221b.”

“Don’t leave me hanging. I’m not the mannequin in 221b.”

“Are you Mrs. Hudson’s cooking? Because I want you inside of me.”

“Are you Mrs. Hudson’s cooking? Because I want you inside of me.”

“Are you the Diogenes Club? Because you leave me speechless.”

“Are you the Diogenes Club? Because you leave me speechless.”

“Tie me up like a Serbian with a cheating wife and no electricity in his bathroom would.”

“Tie me up like a Serbian with a cheating wife and no electricity in his bathroom would.”

“If I inhaled Project H.O.U.N.D. fog right now, you not loving me would be my fear hallucination.”

“If I inhaled Project H.O.U.N.D. fog right now, you not loving me would be my fear hallucination.”

“If you were naked in front of me, I would never tell you to put on a napkin.”

“If you were naked in front of me, I would never tell you to put on a napkin.”

“If I was Speedy’s Cafe, I would let you eat me out any time on the house.”Based on a suggestion by @sarahsarahsarahsarahsarah.

“If I was Speedy’s Cafe, I would let you eat me out any time on the house.”Based on a suggestion by @sarahsarahsarahsarahsarah.

“You make me feel higher than Sherlock overdosing on a jet.”

“You make me feel higher than Sherlock overdosing on a jet.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“Are you the other me in the other place? Because I think you’re pretty damn smart.”

“Are you the other me in the other place? Because I think you’re pretty damn smart.”

“You not loving me would mean more misfortune and disaster than the Second Afghan War.”

“You not loving me would mean more misfortune and disaster than the Second Afghan War.”

“Kiss me until my lipstick is smeared like Emelia Ricoletti’s.”

“Kiss me until my lipstick is smeared like Emelia Ricoletti’s.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“I am glad you liked my potato, but I bet that’s not the only thing about me you would like.”

“I am glad you liked my potato, but I bet that’s not the only thing about me you would like.”

“Are you a plum pudding? Because I would want you inside of me even if it took four months and eleven days off my life.”

“Are you a plum pudding? Because I would want you inside of me even if it took four months and eleven days off my life.”

“I would leave a note at the scene of a crime I didn’t commit just to ask if you missed me.”

“I would leave a note at the scene of a crime I didn’t commit just to ask if you missed me.”

“They call me Wilder in the streets, but I’m Wildest in the sheets.”

“They call me Wilder in the streets, but I’m Wildest in the sheets.”

“It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the landing… Therefore, it wouldn’t kill you to fall for me.”

“It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the landing… Therefore, it wouldn’t kill you to fall for me.”

“If someone accused me of loving you, I’d be guiltier than a brother with a green ladder.”

“If someone accused me of loving you, I’d be guiltier than a brother with a green ladder.”

“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.”

“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.”

“If you left me, my heart would shatter like the six busts of Margaret Thatcher.”

“If you left me, my heart would shatter like the six busts of Margaret Thatcher.”

“Are you the London Aquarium? Because you’re soaking wet and coming inside you made me go to Heaven.”

“Are you the London Aquarium? Because you’re soaking wet and coming inside you made me go to Heaven.”

“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime… But only if you use them with me.”

“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime… But only if you use them with me.”

“Show me your Lady Bracknell and I’ll give you my salty seaman.”Submitted (with photo suggestion) by a user who requested to remain anonymous.

“Show me your Lady Bracknell and I’ll give you my salty seaman.”Submitted (with photo suggestion) by a user who requested to remain anonymous.

“I could never forget you, even if my dad gave me TD12.”

“I could never forget you, even if my dad gave me TD12.”

“If I be the Thatcher bust, will you be the flash drive? I want you inside of me.”

“If I be the Thatcher bust, will you be the flash drive? I want you inside of me.”

“Would you like to have a night of passion in High Wycombe with me?”

“Would you like to have a night of passion in High Wycombe with me?”

“You can call me Giles if I can call you mine.”

“You can call me Giles if I can call you mine.”

“Forget science or cannibals… Nobody is more grateful for your body than me.”

“Forget science or cannibals… Nobody is more grateful for your body than me.”

“I must be a Patience Grenade. Every move you make makes me about to blow.”

“I must be a Patience Grenade. Every move you make makes me about to blow.”

“Are you one of the boys from the cafe? Because I would let you drop me… into your bed.”

“Are you one of the boys from the cafe? Because I would let you drop me… into your bed.”

“You make me even more incredibly happy than killing human beings does.”

“You make me even more incredibly happy than killing human beings does.”

“I would let you give me a hug even if I didn’t need to send and delete a text on your phone.”

“I would let you give me a hug even if I didn’t need to send and delete a text on your phone.”

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