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“Excuse me, but could you help me recover some missing files? I seem to have deleted boobs.”
“My hip isn’t the only thing about me that’s bad. Let me show you how naughty I can be.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I always hear ‘kiss me on the mouth’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.
“Let me be your umbrella. You can open me over your ‘head’ any time you want.” Submitted by thedithatcould.
“Would you like me to alarm you?” Submitted by anonymous.
“Honey, you should see me in a crown… and nothing else.”
“Let me be your Action Man. Your brother won’t be able to break me.”
“I only pick up other guys because Mycroft orders me to. You’re the one I’m sexting.” Based on a suggestion by tophatsandfedoras, who wanted Anthea sexting.
“I’ll eat you out even though digestion slows me down.”
“Face the other way. You’re getting me off.”
“You make me so stiff, Molly mistook me for one of her cadavers.”
“Don’t you want me on the floor too? And on the bed, and on the couch, and on the table, and against the wall…” Submitted by anonymous.
“I’d let you hold my hand even if you kidnapped me and asked me to spy on my flatmate.”
“You make me so happy, I spray painted a smiley face on our wall.”
“I don’t need an essay about all my friends hating me to know that you love me the most.”
“I’d let you make me wear the hat.”
“I would come back from the dead and hijack a bunch of TVs just because you missed me.”
“You make me more speechless than John asking me to be his best man.”
“Would you still love me even though you’re made of hair and I’m made of eyeliner?” Yup, the mustaches are their own characters here now. Because why the hell not?
“I’d let a strange woman abduct me as long as she was taking me to you.”
“You don’t have to show me beheadings to get a hug from me.”
“Who hunts in the middle of a crowd? Me on my way to steal yo girl.”
“Me wearing antlers is best left to the imagination, but me wearing nothing at all is a must-see.”
“You say alone protects you, but I know of another kind of protection that we can use together.â€(Edit: This graphic was originally uploaded with Sherlock’s font instead of John’s, even though John’s supposed to be the one saying the pick-up
“Hounds freak me out. You should show me your pussy instead.â€
“Now why don’t you stop beating that corpse and put that riding crop to good use?â€Submitted by @call-me-mrs-moriarty.
patrick-daniel: She always picks me these,So I kept the very last one she picked for me before we said good bye.
go-sissyslut:harrietharden:sissypansyfag:cocfs:where do you want it, sissy? you can only pick one.My ass please! Pick me up and throw me on the bed. See which way up I land. Heads or tails ? xxxharrietxxx my mouth daddy
gookdom: “Pick me, mister white man! Prease! I prease you rearry good! Prease, PICK ME!”
go-sissyslut: harrietharden:sissypansyfag:cocfs:where do you want it, sissy? you can only pick one.My ass please! Pick me up and throw me on the bed. See which way up I land. Heads or tails ? xxxharrietxxx my mouth daddy decisions, decisions…&
lolita-princess: generalbriefing: seriouslyamerica: I WOULD PROBABLY DATE SOMEONE WHO DID THIS. Fun fact: intentionally bad (but not sexist, obivously) pick-up lines work unreasonably well on me. The level of awesome here is inspiring. oh god that
kinkystartshere: findingme2013: Ooh! Pick me, Sir! Pick me!!!! And spanked!!
noodlesandbeef: We’re almost done with the calendar project! Whew! Help me pick the photo for June: Option A (top left) Option B (top right) Option C (bottom) Please reblog or comment with your favourite to help me pick the winner! After getting
I’m going to give you a choice tonight. One if us is going to cum, and you get to pick who.If you pick me, I’m going to ride your face until I cum. If you pick yourself, I’m going to ride your face until you cum. But I’m not going to touch your
karadin: jediartemis: uppityfemale: Anyone need a pick me up? I need a pick me up. There are French eagles, named after the musketeers, that are trained to attack terrorist drones. Pure poetry. Vive la France! So awesome!
goldeneyed-princess: propertyofprincessxo: My princess would have me do this all the time I just know it she would have my pick her up onto my knee and cuddle her and her stuffies <3 <3 <3 I wish I was little so daddy could pick me up…😢😢😢
trans-amee: secretslutemily: Sending kisses and thanks to my 1700+ followers! Hoping and planning to experience at least a few of you in real life this year! Oh my Emily!!! Pick me! Please, pick me!! So sexy!!!!
Don't pick me... don't pick me... *teacher calls your name*
jediartemis: uppityfemale: Anyone need a pick me up? I need a pick me up. There are French eagles, named after the musketeers, that are trained to attack terrorist drones. Pure poetry. Vive la France!
craftycub: mjpou88: Now accepting cuddle buddies Pick me! Seriously! Please pick me!
small-cabbage: taylor-ruth: My roommate is gay but I believe we’re probably like platonic soulmates bc whenever I text him “bad day” he picks me up a greek salad and a five guys fry and whenever he texts me “bad day” i pick him up ribs and
carpebutts: empress-homogay: “oh i love your name” “thanks i picked it out myself” is an A+ trans joke me, making fun of cis people: “nice name, did your mom pick it out for you?”
live-gonzo: sweatygymcox: wishboycmh: Strong. What I want out of my partner…pick me up,all day, everyday dang maybe i should be a twink instead of a bear i want someone to pick me up.now im having a lifestyle crisis.
freycamisolepublic: Slaves Tied Together (1) Brandon, the rope master at the bondage club, picked me from the subs as his first subject. He used elaborate rope-work to hang me to a post in the center of the club play area. I watched as he picked
linbeifong120: young joe biden looks so wholesome…i would be his lover from the other side of the tracks…he picks me up at 1 am and we have good missionary sex in his pick up truck…he tells me about his football dreams and i, well i listen
cravehiminallways212: For my next trick, I’ll need a volunteer from the audience… *raises hand and waves it around frantically*….. “Pick me…. Pick me!”…💋
trans-amee: secretslutemily: Sending kisses and thanks to my 1700+ followers! Hoping and planning to experience at least a few of you in real life this year! Oh my Emily!!! Pick me! Please, pick me!!So sexy!!!!
patron-saint-of-lost-causes: For once, just once, I want someone to pick me. No. Not someone. I want YOU to pick me.
husssel: Me picking up a pencil in class… “if they don’t applaud at the end, there’s no reason to pick up the pencil” my grandmother’s dying words to me
Be strong, handsome<3 Its crazy to think how much our lives would have been so different if you picked me years ago and if I had picked you this summer. I know you said you wanted to quit smoking for me because I hated the smell so you probably would
asheathes: You’re Elizabeth. He who stabs the heart of the captain must take over as captain. The Dutchman must always have a captain. And if he saves me, he loses you. He won’t pick me, I wouldn’t pick me! Tell him not to come. Tell him to stay
doctorandnurse: Who’s ready to eat me up? Raising my hand as high as I can, pick me Nurse Goodbody, pick me! I’d love to taste your tight little body!
igirisu: theusukblog: When this happens to me, the conversation normally goes like this. America: BRO, you’re totally underestimating how strong a hero I am! See, I can do this. -Picks me up- England: For goodness… I know… You’ve picked me up
slutwitharing: I waited for my wife to call me to pick her up, but she didn’t call in the morning, or in the afternoon, or in the evening. Finally, after 24 hours, she called me late at night: “I’m exhausted sweetie. Come pick me up. You might
