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“People are basically fond, but not as much as I am.”
“My love for you is bigger than Henry Knight’s house.”
“You smell cleaner than Kenny Prince’s cat.”
“Being without you hurts worse than reading Alone On the Water.” [ LiveJournal / FanFiction.net / AO3 ]
“May the problems of your future be my privilege?”
“I would punch the chief superintendent just because he called you a weirdo.”
“I think you’re cooler than the head in our fridge.”
“Are you frequenting cafes? Because you are smoking.”
“Are you Mr. Summerson? Because I’d like to fondle your testicles.”
“Which hurt more: When you fell from Bart’s or when you fell from Heaven?”
“I’m not just a soldier, doctor, and blogger… I’m also a lover.”
“I want to be your boyfriend more than Sherlock wanted to be a pirate.”
“I want to be the first one you call for after waking up from being drugged by a dominatrix.”
“Are you Mary Morstan? Because those pants look so good on you, you’re putting the ass in assassin… twice.”
“I would name my daughter after you even if Sherlock wasn’t a girl’s name.”
“I don’t know about Sherlock, but I know exactly where to look.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Judging by the turn-ups on your jeans, you’d be a pretty good father to my children.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“I love a shaved pussy… and I’m not talking about Sekhmet.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.
“I’d rip your clothes off in a darkened swimming pool even if people would talk.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“I would let you play me like Sherlock plays the violin.”
“I’m sorry I let it all slide… How about banging something other than my tea on the table?â€
“I’m hung better than the dummy in our living room.â€
“One more miracle, for me, please… Don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend.â€Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“I’m gonna climb you like Zhi Zhu climbs buildings.â€
“I would name my daughter after you even if your first name was William.â€
“I don’t take sugar in my coffee, but I’d love to get some sugar from you.â€
“I would help fix the afferent neurons in your peripheral nervous system.â€
“Your teeth are whiter than Molly’s lab coat.â€
“Mrs. Hudson offered me a cup of tea, but I’d much rather have a drink of you.â€
“Is your last name Morstan? Because I wanna Mary you.â€
“You’re more fun than a woman lying dead.â€
“I’m sorry you don’t like Harold on my face… Perhaps you’d prefer him in between your thighs?â€
“I know you’re for real… Nobody could fake having such an amazing dick all the time.â€
“I would marry you even if your proposal got interrupted by your best friend who faked his death.â€
“Your wit is sharper than Irene Adler’s heels.â€
“Mycroft says that you have the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, but I think you have the brain of my future husband.â€
“Broadly speaking, I’d like to have a ‘function’ in your ‘narrative.’“
“If you can always tell a good Chinese by examining the bottom third of the door handle, then what can we tell by examining your knob?â€Submitted by nzeuropean.
“It’s fine. It’s all fine when you’re around.â€Submitted by nzeuropean.
“I don’t have friends, just potential love interests.â€Submitted by nzeuropean.
“Unlike my work for the British government, I occupy a major position in the bedroom.â€Submitted by nzeuropean.
“Your style is more iconic than Sherlock in a deerstalker.â€
“My coat collar isn’t the only thing that’s up.â€
“I must be 221b’s wallpaper, because you’re making me smile.â€
“Crap telly and chill?â€
“We can’t eat in the kitchen because Sherlock keeps experiments in it. Shall I take you out to dinner instead?â€
“Wanna try some roleplaying? You’re Sherlock Holmes. Wear the damn hat.â€
“I would go back in time during our fourth season just to be able to say that I’ve loved you for centuries.â€
“Sherlock must not know anything about you, because you are a star.â€
“Finding someone as beautiful as you is more difficult than getting Sherlock to follow the rules of Cluedo.â€
“I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the color pink.â€
“I’m the perfect boyfriend: I’m very loyal, very quickly, and I’m not interested in anything your brother offers me.â€
“I would make you my bride even if you were abominable.â€
“You say alone protects you, but I know of another kind of protection that we can use together.â€(Edit: This graphic was originally uploaded with Sherlock’s font instead of John’s, even though John’s supposed to be the one saying the pick-up
“My love for you is deeper than Sherlock’s voice.â€
“I bet I can make you wetter than the fandom’s post-Reichenbach tears.â€
“Sherlock knows more about the solar system than you do about me… Want to fix that?â€
“I trust you more than Sherlock trusted his brother, Molly Hooper, and twenty-five at most tramps.â€
“Will you be the Sherlock to my Buckingham Palace? I want you inside of me with no clothes on.â€
“Don’t leave me hanging. I’m not the mannequin in 221b.â€