and he was like
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find and he was like on porn pin board
and he was like clips
“So, on my flight to Houston, I sat next to this really cute guy and he was like, all handsome and everything…we were flirting up a storm and the topic kind of got all sexy. He said he was “very fortunate down there” and I guess my eyes
fortzancudo: 23andmemes: fortzancudo: GOD today i served a family of 3 and the dad was like “i’ll have a cappuccino” and the kid, a girl of about 11, was like “PLEASE.” and he was like “uh yeah. please” and the kid goes “well you’re
So there was this time I was talking to a gay dude in a bar about Bad Boys, and he was like “Yeah, but no one can be as bad as Darth Vader!”And I was like “Yeah but the same guy who voiced him voiced Mufasa so.”And the gay dude fucking threw
omoaro: Omovember day 1: Desperate in a vehicle Well. He was desperate and he’s on a vehicle, but you know how it goes. He was going too fast and couldn’t wait for a rest stop
rnikan: SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER
camplazlo: one time in fourth grade i stole this kid’s gameboy and a couple months later we were chillin at my house and he was looking at my stuff and found the gameboy and he was like “wow i used to have one of these” and i asked he wanted
modestmgmtofficial: identical twins have so much power tbh last year my lab partner steve came in with pierced ears and everyone was like whoa steve when did u get them pierced and he was like i’ve had them for 3 years. i’m not steve. and he just
dickclops: my dad just asked came over and asked me what i was so focused on drawing and this was on the screen and he was like, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE. WELL IT ISNT FUNNY YOUNG LADY. and so i was like, “no dad, its not what
duskenpath: So I know everyone is like omg those Pokemon go posts are so fake that doesn’t happen irl Well I was just in philly and this police officer spotted us staring at our phones and he was like is that that new game thing And then he got
“I initially fell for David harder than he fell for me. I was in love with him before he was comfortable saying it, and I think that speaks to our past experiences. I remember saying, “I think I love you,” and he was like, “That’s really nice,”
modestmgmtofficial:identical twins have so much power tbh last year my lab partner steve came in with pierced ears and everyone was like whoa steve when did u get them pierced and he was like i’ve had them for 3 years. i’m not steve. and he just sat
rustandruin: “There was one time when we were children, he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So, I went to pick up the snake to admire it and he transformed back into himself and he was like, ‘Yeah, it’s me!’
Josh talking about the shooting incident. “I was like standing right here, and Brett and I were about to walk outside and he was like ‘Alright man, let’s go!’ and right here we hear *gagagaga!* and I looked at him and I was like ‘Has someone
vaydra: i was arguing with my (antigay) dad about gay rights and at the end i was like “i totally crushed u tbh i countered every argument you had” and he was like “but did you change my viewpoint tho” and i was like “i can lead a horse to
assbutt-in-the-garrison: vaydra: i was arguing with my (antigay) dad about gay rights and at the end i was like “i totally crushed u tbh i countered every argument you had” and he was like “but did you change my viewpoint tho” and i was like
I FUCKING LEFT THE BAR AND WAS LIKE OKAY STEWART BE HOME IN 15 MINUTES AND HE WAS LIKE OKAY AND I FUCKING GET HOME AND HE FELL ASLEEEEEEEEEEEEP
bimboexec: After that day Greg never mentioned again about what he saw or about firing Alex’s firm. He was a perfect gentlemen.. and he was like a magnet for Angela. She was now coming to his office to ask and discuss almost everything. She wanted
makeoutstation: makeoutstation: oh my GOD so i was talking to a buddy in psychology and then this kid came in who looked exactly like him and gave him a book he’d forgotten at home and i went “holy shit you have a twin?!?” and he was like “yeah!
lanadelcash: On V-DAY i asked a fuckboy to buy me ddinks and he was like “you’re a gold digger” and I was like “ur a pussy digger lol bitch at least I got my bills paid. You only got chlamydia bitch bye ✌✌” And this is why he’s a
homosexualchronicles: senatorgana: today my dad was like “hey honey are you mad at me?” and i was like ???? no?????? and he was like “oh okay, it’s just that you haven’t called me daddy in a long time and i was worried that i’d done something
-starmovinglove: “I initially fell for David harder than he fell for me. I was in love with him before he was comfortable saying it, and I think that speaks to our past experiences. I remember saying, “I think I love you,” and he was like, “That’s
oceanashenue: so today my ap art history teacher was teaching us about Hapshetsut the only female pharaoh and he was like “have you seen women they can pop out a baby and be like alright let’s go” and then he walked over to this guy and aimed his
I just had a double sleepover with darfin and I’m so happy I got to spend two whole days with him. just going to bed (me first always so he has to watch tv quietly) and him pulling me towards him, half asleep then waking up to him and laying in
I talked to him about it before the last time it happened (she was literally jumping up and down calling his name then played with his hair and told him how he looks good with stubble .. vomit) and he reassures me he likes me not her but ughhghgh thank
stinson: I initially fell for David harder than he fell for me. I was in love with him before he was comfortable saying it, and I think that speaks to our past experiences. I remember saying, “I think I love you,” and he was like, “That’s really
this weekend was really good like I’m super grateful -I got to see The Hunts -Get a pic w all of them -Got to see AHJ -Got hIS SETLIST -GOT HIM TO SIGN IT AND HE SMILED AT ME TWICE DURING HIS SET AND THEN HE ACKNOWLEDGED ME AFTERWARDS WHEN SIGNING
chrom-o-ween: My favorite story is that one time Tolkien was with some writer friends and he was like “oh I’ve got a new story to show you guys” and one of them was like “as long as it’s not more fucking elves” and it was it was more fucking
