to ml holmes
NSFW Tumblr
find to ml holmes on porn pin board
to ml holmes clips
“Forget the lipstick-matching present– let’s unwrap you.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I don’t care if you boast a lot– I’ll still tell you bedtime stories.”
“I would buy you a deerstalker even if the rest of Scotland Yard didn’t pitch in.”
“You know, I’ve got a phone. I mean, very clever and all that, but you could just booty call me. On my phone.”
“You know what they say about big feet? Well, just call me Carl Powers.”
“Are you my blogger? Because I’d be lost without you.”
“I’ve been lonely ever since you ensured my husband’s execution.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Face the other way. You’re getting me off.”
“Dear Jim, I’m in love with you. Won’t you fix it for me?” Submitted by anonymous.
“Since you blew your nose on the lady from the train’s number, would you like mine instead?” Submitted by anonymous.
“I wish Mike Stamford would introduce us.”
“Mrs. Turner has married ones. How about you and I be Mrs. Hudson’s married ones?”
“I just met you, and this is crazy, but I know everything about you, so come live with me maybe?” Submitted by anonymous.
“You make me so giddy, I’m giggling even at crime scenes.”
“Well, I do believe that my pupils have dilated!” Submitted by crows-flight.
“Forget my sociopathy; you should do your research on my high-functioning penis.”
“How about you treat me the way Irene Adler treats royalty?” Submitted by absolutelyhetero.
“Irene Adler shouldn’t be the only one you recognize from ‘not her face.’”
“When I’m retired and studying bees, will you be my honey?”
“You’ve never been the most luminous of people, but you brighten up my world.” Submitted by anonymous.
“Our babies would be sexy in both senses of the word.” Submitted by gloveonafoot.
“Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but notice the state of your knees…” Submitted by absolutelyhetero.
“I enjoy my jumper collection, but I’d much rather have you on my body instead.”
“I knew it was dangerous getting you into crap telly. I should get you into my bed instead.”
“If your flatmate punched you in the face, I would kiss it better.”
“I named our dog Gladstone because you make me happy and hard.”
“Are we doing it? Have we done it?”
“I noticed you’re wearing a deerstalker. May I be your dear?”
“So, you like letting freaks into your crime scenes… How about letting a freak into your bed?”
“Cerise isn’t the only thing that will drain you. You should see my purple shirt.” Submitted by Emily (no username).
“I’d let Angelo put a candle on our table.”
“No matter what, your disguise is always a self-portrait. No wonder you look sexy in anything.”
“I would read your blog even if it only contained two hundred and forty-three types of tobacco ash.”
“Instead of jumping off of Bart’s, how about jumping into my bed?”
“You make me so happy, I spray painted a smiley face on our wall.”
“Would you still love me even if I turned into an Asian woman?”
“I’d let you investigate more than just my crime scenes, if you deduce my meaning.”
“If you broke into my flat for a tea party, I would let you sit in my chair.”
“On my face. Come at once, if convenient. If inconvenient, come anyway.”
“I don’t know what you might deduce about my brother’s heart, but I’ll gladly tell you about mine.”
“I may not be strictly speaking on the drugs squad, but I’m very keen… on you.”
“I’m not haunted by your penis. I miss it.”
“Forget tobacco ash. I’d rather blog two hundred and forty-three reasons why I love you.”
“I don’t smoke, don’t frequent cafes, don’t fuck men… You know, I make many exceptions when I’m around you.” Submitted by Viljatuuli (no username).
“You are the grape of my eye. Apples are boring.” Submitted by bandofbaskets.
Happy Halloween, followers! I made this blog’s very first pick-up line comic for you! :) And yes, that is Harry Potter font.
“Without you, my heart feels as empty as my hearse.”
“How about we both skip your birthday dinner so I can show you my ‘thing’?”
“When Greg handed me your uncut birthday video, I was hoping for something very different.”
“Only lies have detail, so I won’t elaborate on how much I love you.”
“I like you more than Howard Shilcott likes trains.”
“I have an international reputation for loving you.” Submitted by cricketshuman.
“Forget my brother’s bolt-holes… How about finding your way into one of my holes instead?”
“I’ll let you kiss me if you crash through a window and ruffle your hair first.”
“Loving you could never be human error.”
“My detective skills aren’t the only gifts I was born with.”
“You’re my popular choice at the moment, dear.”
“Can I buy you a drink? 443.7 milliliters of drink, that is.”
“The ‘elephant in the room’ is my penis.”
“Call me Shezza, because I’m going undercover… Under your covers, that is.”
