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“If I deduced everything in your life from your alcoholic sibling to your military service, would you come home with me? Forever?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“If I deduced everything in your life from your alcoholic sibling to your military service, would you come home with me? Forever?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I don’t know anything about the stars unless they’re the ones in your eyes.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I don’t know anything about the stars unless they’re the ones in your eyes.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I got the milk.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I got the milk.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“Come with me and I’ll make sure the Hound isn’t the only thing howling.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“Come with me and I’ll make sure the Hound isn’t the only thing howling.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“Wanna U.M.Q.R.A.?”

“Wanna U.M.Q.R.A.?”

“Just give me a chance and I’ll be Reichen your bed Bach and forth all night.” Submitted by turtleplz.

“Just give me a chance and I’ll be Reichen your bed Bach and forth all night.” Submitted by turtleplz.

“What are you doing? Get back into the cage I made for you!” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“What are you doing? Get back into the cage I made for you!” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“How about I smear myself with jam when we get home and let you lick it off?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“How about I smear myself with jam when we get home and let you lick it off?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“Let’s REALLY make people talk.” Submitted by anonymous.

“Let’s REALLY make people talk.” Submitted by anonymous.

“I would fake kill myself for your sake.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I would fake kill myself for your sake.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I.O.U. a threesome.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I.O.U. a threesome.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I’m married to my work, but I’d divorce it for you.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“I’m married to my work, but I’d divorce it for you.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“I want to put my ‘experiment’ in your 'microwave.’” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“I want to put my ‘experiment’ in your 'microwave.’” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“I always hear ‘kiss me on the mouth’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“I always hear ‘kiss me on the mouth’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“I’m married to my work, so we’ll have to be discreet.” Requested by one of my real-life friends, who doesn’t have a Tumblr.

“I’m married to my work, so we’ll have to be discreet.” Requested by one of my real-life friends, who doesn’t have a Tumblr.

“I always hear ‘sit on my face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by verity-burns.

“I always hear ‘sit on my face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by verity-burns.

“If you were naked in front of me, I would never tell you to put on a napkin.”

“If you were naked in front of me, I would never tell you to put on a napkin.”

“If I tried to deny my love for you, it’d be less convincing than Hooper in a mustache.”

“If I tried to deny my love for you, it’d be less convincing than Hooper in a mustache.”

“I need you more than Lestrade needs a drink when he’s afraid.”

“I need you more than Lestrade needs a drink when he’s afraid.”

“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.”

“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“Do you have a secret twin? Because if so, I’d love to get acquainted with both of you.”

“Do you have a secret twin? Because if so, I’d love to get acquainted with both of you.”

“Are you the other me in the other place? Because I think you’re pretty damn smart.”

“Are you the other me in the other place? Because I think you’re pretty damn smart.”

“You not loving me would mean more misfortune and disaster than the Second Afghan War.”

“You not loving me would mean more misfortune and disaster than the Second Afghan War.”

“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?”

“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“I bet you’re more popular than The Blue Carbuncle.”

“I bet you’re more popular than The Blue Carbuncle.”

“Ignore the illustrator. You’re so unforgettable, I would recognize you with or without a mustache.”

“Ignore the illustrator. You’re so unforgettable, I would recognize you with or without a mustache.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“I want you more than The Strand readers want proper murders.”

“I want you more than The Strand readers want proper murders.”

“I would kick Moriarty over a waterfall for you.”

“I would kick Moriarty over a waterfall for you.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“If Moriarty suggested that you and I elope, I would not find it impertinent or offensive.”

“If Moriarty suggested that you and I elope, I would not find it impertinent or offensive.”

“I am glad you liked my potato, but I bet that’s not the only thing about me you would like.”

“I am glad you liked my potato, but I bet that’s not the only thing about me you would like.”

“I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. And meeting you was clearly my happily ever after.”

“I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. And meeting you was clearly my happily ever after.”

“If you thought The Abominable Bride pushed you to mental and physical extremes, you should see what I can do in the bedroom.”

“If you thought The Abominable Bride pushed you to mental and physical extremes, you should see what I can do in the bedroom.”

“Forget morphine or cocaine. I get plenty high just off of your presence.”

“Forget morphine or cocaine. I get plenty high just off of your presence.”

“If you were Sherlock’s veins, I would be cocaine just so I could get inside of you.”

“If you were Sherlock’s veins, I would be cocaine just so I could get inside of you.”

“Did Holmes learn about jets from you? Because you’re pretty fly.”

“Did Holmes learn about jets from you? Because you’re pretty fly.”

“If someone accused me of loving you, I’d be guiltier than a brother with a green ladder.”

“If someone accused me of loving you, I’d be guiltier than a brother with a green ladder.”

“Are you Sherlock Holmes? Because I wanna see you shake your mind pal-ass.”

“Are you Sherlock Holmes? Because I wanna see you shake your mind pal-ass.”

“Are you from a future world? Because I want to get your telephone contraption number.”

“Are you from a future world? Because I want to get your telephone contraption number.”

“I want to say ‘I love you’ to you more often than Holmes says ‘features of interest.’“

“I want to say ‘I love you’ to you more often than Holmes says ‘features of interest.’“

“Do you have a feet fetish? Because my game is afoot.”

“Do you have a feet fetish? Because my game is afoot.”

“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.”

“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.”

“If you think Mycroft is enormous, just wait until you see my dick.”

“If you think Mycroft is enormous, just wait until you see my dick.”

“I don’t care whether your birthday video is cut or uncut, but I am curious about something else of yours.”

“I don’t care whether your birthday video is cut or uncut, but I am curious about something else of yours.”

“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.”

“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.”

“Are you Mrs. Hudson’s car? Because I wanna take you for a ride.”

“Are you Mrs. Hudson’s car? Because I wanna take you for a ride.”

“I would smile at you on a bus even if you didn’t have a daisy behind your ear.”

“I would smile at you on a bus even if you didn’t have a daisy behind your ear.”

“Are you the well that Victor Trevor died in? Because I’m about to go deep inside you and feel how wet you are.”

“Are you the well that Victor Trevor died in? Because I’m about to go deep inside you and feel how wet you are.”

“Getting over you is more impossible than arresting a jellyfish.”

“Getting over you is more impossible than arresting a jellyfish.”

“Planning our dates will be easy. I know exactly where we’ll need to be picked up for lunch two weeks from now.”

“Planning our dates will be easy. I know exactly where we’ll need to be picked up for lunch two weeks from now.”

“I don’t need to be actually wetting myself in order to tell the truth about how much I love you.”

“I don’t need to be actually wetting myself in order to tell the truth about how much I love you.”

“Forget Victor Trevor. Next time you chain me up, a very different kind of bone is going to emerge.”

“Forget Victor Trevor. Next time you chain me up, a very different kind of bone is going to emerge.”

“I can’t keep my knackered, weary, old eyes off of you.”

“I can’t keep my knackered, weary, old eyes off of you.”

“Are you Victor Trevor? Because whenever I’m with you, all around me is well.”

“Are you Victor Trevor? Because whenever I’m with you, all around me is well.”

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