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“I just met you, and this is crazy, but I know everything about you, so come live with me maybe?” Submitted by anonymous.
“Whenever I’m apart from you, I’m bluer than my scarf.”
“You make me so giddy, I’m giggling even at crime scenes.”
“Well, I do believe that my pupils have dilated!” Submitted by crows-flight.
“Forget my sociopathy; you should do your research on my high-functioning penis.”
“If you were my drug, a seven percent solution wouldn’t be enough.”
“How about you treat me the way Irene Adler treats royalty?” Submitted by absolutelyhetero.
“If I had a silly-looking jumper for every time I thought of you, I’d be John Watson.”
“I’d love to have a look around your top-secret areas.” Submitted (with photo) by cumberbitchsandwich.
The best of submissions, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.
“Forget dead pigs– want to see what I can penetrate with my other harpoon?”
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“I would come to your flat even if I was on the other side of town and it could be dangerous.”
“Irene Adler shouldn’t be the only one you recognize from ‘not her face.’”
“The fridge? Please, I know a better place for you to put your fingers.”
“When I’m retired and studying bees, will you be my honey?”
“Sometimes you don’t talk for days on end? That’s fine. I can give you something else to do with your mouth.”
“It would be the end of the world to me if your landlady were to cockblock us.”
“You’ve never been the most luminous of people, but you brighten up my world.” Submitted by anonymous.
“If you give me your heart, I promise I won’t put it in the fridge.”
“I’d love to get under your sheets. Especially if you were still wearing them.”
“Our babies would be sexy in both senses of the word.” Submitted by gloveonafoot.
“My umbrella will keep you dry, but I’ll keep you wet.”
“Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but notice the state of your knees…” Submitted by absolutelyhetero.
“I enjoy my jumper collection, but I’d much rather have you on my body instead.”
“I knew it was dangerous getting you into crap telly. I should get you into my bed instead.”
“I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you, so I had to put them in the microwave.”
“If your flatmate punched you in the face, I would kiss it better.”
“I named our dog Gladstone because you make me happy and hard.”
“I love you more than John loves jam.” Submitted by xhowisharveywallbangeronewordx.
“Shake hands with you in Hell? I’d much rather shake something else of yours.”
“Are we doing it? Have we done it?”
“I noticed you’re wearing a deerstalker. May I be your dear?”
“So, you like letting freaks into your crime scenes… How about letting a freak into your bed?”
“Bond Air isn’t my only ‘jumbo jet,’ if you get what I mean.”
“Cerise isn’t the only thing that will drain you. You should see my purple shirt.” Submitted by Emily (no username).
“Will you be the Sher-key to my Sher-lock?”
“I’d let Angelo put a candle on our table.”
“I like your purple shirt. How’d you like to see my red pants?” (Thank you so much to andrisbiedrins for sending the screencap. I couldn’t find any images of Martin Freeman wearing red bottoms except as Arthur Dent, and apparently
“Want to go to Buckingham Palace and color-coordinate our ties?”
“No matter what, your disguise is always a self-portrait. No wonder you look sexy in anything.”
“I’d let you hold my hand even if you kidnapped me and asked me to spy on my flatmate.”
“Do you like Mexican food? Because I’ll gladly offer you a taste of my fiesta dick.”
“I would disguise myself as a wounded vicar just to get invited into your home.”
“Mrs. Hudson may have stolen my skull, but you have stolen my heart.”
“You don’t have to be a murder victim’s stillborn daughter to get me to shout your name over and over again.”
“How about we unbutton more than just our sleeves and show each other something other than our nicotine patches?”
“I would read your blog even if it only contained two hundred and forty-three types of tobacco ash.”
“Want to occupy a minor position in the British government?” Submitted by anonymous.
“Instead of jumping off of Bart’s, how about jumping into my bed?”
“You make me so happy, I spray painted a smiley face on our wall.”
“I would hit that harder than Sherlock hits corpses.”
“When I tried to deduce you, the floating text turned into erotica.”
“Would you still love me even if I turned into an Asian woman?”
“Science of Deduction? Wouldn’t you rather hear about the Science of Seduction?” Submitted by thesaphiragirl.
“Mycroft? I’d rather be your croft.”
“When I said I wanted to ‘get’ you, I meant in bed.”
“I’d let you investigate more than just my crime scenes, if you deduce my meaning.”
“You steeple your fingers a lot. I could give you something better to do with them.”
