food mention
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heckacute: Put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe.
Crayola Crayon Color Asks
Shit I’ve Heard High Schoolers Say
take your body, haunt it
laughcentre: Quite possibly the best/worst fortune cookie fortune ever.
Oh, fuck. Goodwill has so many Mask tapes
ianthe: schmergo: ianthe: nothing grape flavored is flavored like grapes it’s just flavored like other grape flavored things and this is why I have trust issues FUN FACT: Grape artificial flavor was the first artificial flavor created, by accident.
Somethin' Like That
cruelteenagers: @ everyone who went through a period of having no friends, who ate alone, who had a point in their life where they were too embarrassed to tell their parents they had no one to play with after school: I love you. I know it hurts and I
tastefullyoffensive: Medieval memes. (via imgur)
1-delicious-mistake: hellyeahthomassanders: Why… 💻 by Thomas Sanders This? Is? So? Me???????????
SpongeBob SquarePants
unclefather: my mom said “what is a twink” really loudly at the table in the olive garden
famousrecord: “Taco delivery dog”
jovan: hefty bag of coleslaw
biphoenix: on the outside I am human on the inside I am pasta and sin
obviousplant: Free dating advice left in the floral department of a grocery store [see a bonus tip on Facebook]
Best Funny
stardew-valley: sailoruranus: … I have made a mistake prepare to die
joshua-wright: Always thinking sweet thoughts.
cornsflakes:
☆ミ
arianagranate: Today i received the best fortunecookie message ever, it really speaks out my mind.
bitch-pudding: myspcefamous2012: the breakfast club isnt even about breakfast you could have at least said spoiler alert
buildabitchworkshop: greenwiseowl: buildabitchworkshop: man i love taquitos and guacamole Or a bag of weed and two blunts. no dude wtf dont u know drugs r fuckin illegal do u want to get us both arrested jfc smh
stevetogers: I’d really like to be taken out tbh. in a date way or a sniper way I have no preference
goingtobuffalo: 0oazulo0: goingtobuffalo: how fucked up would it be if you jumped in a ball pit and it was just tomatoes painted different colors Depends. … On what
edgay: ravioli ravioli give me a reason to live
surprisebitch: mycaell: theproblematicblogger: 💀💀💀💀💀 SCAMMED LMAOOOOOO Eli literally said “I will if you buy” though lmaoo
ithelpstodream: When in the entire American history did all lives matter?!
ineedmorelube: trarnp: ineedmorelube: wakey wakey eggs and bakey but I’m a vegan wakey wakey vegetables
icewindandboringhorror: icewindandboringhorror: my rotund brown cat sometimes jumps into my lap and purrs and I put my hands around him and he is so big and he purrs so loud.. it’s like… holding a rumbling burrito…. a meatloaf.. a big rumbly log…
samthedefiant: welfareglasses: how to be petty; step 1 God I fucking love this show
fairywodger: inbox: “go hang a salami” backwards is “im a lasagna hog" and that pleases me how did either of these sentences occur naturally for you to discover this
snorlaxatives: that little chunk of chocolate at the bottom of the drumstick cone reblog of you agree
ventusthecorgi: Ran into this strange dog on our walk today.. he was trying to pick a fight with Bagel but Bagel just wanted to be friends 😂 #PokemonGo
jibril: how did they get the mouths to move in sync with the audio…………
RICK AND MORTY FOR 100 YEARS RICK AND MORTY
scribblingbearcat: god-dammit-mason: Everyone is saying that the professor is grinding the Pokémon into candy, but consider the following: • The professor frantically running around with assistants, inspecting hundreds of thousands of pidgeys a
ofools: I’ve been posting a lot of overwatch shitposts these past few days
Petrichor in the park.
krudman: The Ana Club
boredpanda: If Animals Could Talk
v171: Imagine A Series of Unfortunate Events but with the Bobs Burgers kids.
gorillamunchies: no thank you, owen
Mrs. Mia Wallace
memeufacturing: talking to cashiers while having anxiety ? more like
no1fan15: @laurenzuke THANK YOU
kiyotakabunnymaru: This jokes works better in portuguese (because bullet and candy are the same word HAH GET IT ITS A PUN AHAHAHA!!!!!)
Thomas Sanders
as-warm-as-choco: “Responsible Earth Citizens” (page 6-7) My favorite pages from Steven Universe SDCC exclusive zine, written and illustrated by Lauren Zuke and Mira W. ! Nefeli, you know I’m gonna laugh forever at this, χαχαχαχα !
trans-junk-rat: amélie always makes the coffee a little too bitter
duskenpath: fanaticalqueergeek: yotoob: yotoob: yotoob: We’ve bought a new house. And our new next door neighbours (two delightful gentlemen) will not stop being nice. - bought us a seagull proof refuse bag (yes, they are actual things) - loaned
morticia-smith: He was put in jail the next day.
dameofspace: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FINALLY. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO CATCH YOU TWO ALL. DAY. NOW THAT I’VE GOT YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU….. ……I’d like to buy some chocolate.
hellahurley: working in retail is so fucking crazy. it’s like an alternate universe. one time, I was scanning some deli cheese and the customer said, “that’s on sale for however much” and I said, “oh yeah that’s a good deal deli stuff can
![obviousplant: Free dating advice left in the floral department of a grocery store [see a bonus tip on Facebook]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/43ec2441ebbb06020a69800af93e1794/tumblr_nxcsbv16cA1u53c30o10_250.jpg)
