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“You don’t need to be like Mycroft. Why use a treadmill when you get plenty of exercise running through my mind?â€
“You’re hotter than a shoddy Victorian outfit from a museum that was sold off in a fire damage sale.â€
“I must be 221b’s wallpaper, because you’re making me smile.â€
“Me without you is like a deerstalker with only one front.â€
“Is your name Janine? Because I would become a tabloid just to make you my whore.â€
“You’re more hip than the body part Mrs. Hudson needs herbal soothers for.â€
“So, you think my mouth looks too small without lipstick? I can think of one way to change your mind about that.â€
“No, that’s not a British Army Browning L9A1 in my pocket.â€
“If you’d like, I can ensure that you’ll never need to borrow John’s laptop again.â€
“Writing my best man speech for your wedding was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… because I wasn’t the one you were marrying.â€
“You stole my heart like Eddie Van Coon stole the jade hair pin.â€
“Will you be the microwave to my eyeballs? I want to be inside you.â€
“I may not know that the Earth revolves around the sun, but I know that my heart revolves around you.â€
“Baby got Reichen-back.â€
“You don’t need to force me to jump off of Bart’s in order to make my heart soar.â€
“Irene Adler may know what you like, but I am what you like.â€
“The stage is set. The curtain rises. We are ready to begin… Sorry, didn’t I mention that I’m an exhibitionist?â€
“I don’t just want you to be the shadow that defines my every sunny day– I want you to be my future too.â€
“Our sex is like a crime– the weirder it is, the more I get off.â€
“Can we cuddle? I promise not to squeeze as hard as the Golem.â€
“I would go back in time during our fourth season just to be able to say that I’ve loved you for centuries.â€
“Sherlock must not know anything about you, because you are a star.â€
“I could deduce everything about you, but I’d much rather you tell me about yourself.â€
“I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the color pink.â€
“I’m the perfect boyfriend: I’m very loyal, very quickly, and I’m not interested in anything your brother offers me.â€
“You’re sweeter than the sugar I thought the Baskerville drug was in.â€
“My bed is cozier than John’s jumpers. Don’t believe me? Come see for yourself.â€
“I wish I could hack CCTV cameras like Mycroft, because I can’t keep my eyes off of you.â€
“Sorry about all the music. I play the violin when I’m thinking, and I can’t stop thinking about you.â€
“My love for you is deeper than Sherlock’s voice.â€
“Your beauty is to die for… or at least fake die for so Moriarty’s sniper doesn’t shoot you.â€
“Your feelings for me are more obvious than the password on John’s computer.â€
“Fighting off a swordsman isn’t the only thing I’d like to do on my kitchen table.â€
“Are you four serial suicides and a note? Because I jump for joy whenever I hear about you.â€
“You are a work of art, with or without the Van Buren Supernova.â€
“You’re fancier than the restaurant John tried to propose to Mary in.â€
“Sherlock knows more about the solar system than you do about me… Want to fix that?â€
“I would half kill a man because he laid a finger on you.â€
“Are you the cabbie’s good pill? Because I’ll happily swallow for you.â€
“Is your name Irene Adler? Because I want to see you naked even though we just met.â€
“I want to buy you a Christmas present that matches my lipstick.â€
“People don’t really go to Heaven when they die. They’re taken to a special room and burned. When they actually go to Heaven is when they see your face.â€
“I would say sweet things to you even if I knew that bombs have off switches.â€
“I bet I could deduce your sexual orientation even if you weren’t wearing underwear.â€
“Mycroft can resist a game of Deductions easier than I can resist you.â€
“Are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you.â€
“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.â€
“Nobody has more features of interest than you.â€
“You are the crack in my lens.â€
“This pistol isn’t the only thing I’d like on the tip of my tongue.â€
“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.â€
“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.â€
“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.â€
“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.â€
“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.â€
“Suicide as street theatre and murder by corpse aren’t the only ways I can spoil you.â€
“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?â€
“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?â€
“Criminal masterminds don’t really have special outfits, but I’ll make an exception for you in the bedroom.â€
“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.â€