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“I made you coffee. Do you prefer it black or drugged?”
“You are such a brilliant conductor of light, not even Bluebell can glow as bright as you.”
“I never thought heroes existed until I met you.”
“Is that a riding crop under your coat, or are you just happy to see me?”
“I would jump in front of a death frisbee for you, my dear.”
“I bet I can make your pulse increase and your pupils dilate.”
“I want to give you head. And I’m not talking about the one in the fridge.”
“If I broke into your home, would you have a cup of tea with me?”
“I’m hung like a Baskerville Hound.”
“Sex doesn’t alarm me. Want me to prove it?”
“I don’t have to use my imagination to know that you’d be the last thing I thought of before I died.”
“Leave the wall alone. If you’re bored, I’ll gladly take a pounding from you.”
“Hiiiii… I seem to have misplaced the key to your heart… Would you mind buzzing me in?”
“I baked you a gingerbread cookie. Sorry it’s burnt.”
“If convenient, meet me in my bedroom. If inconvenient, come anyway.”
“You could never repel me.”
“You can X-ray my possessions if you want.”
“If we were at a restaurant together, I wouldn’t deny that you were my date.”
“Would you like to go round and round the garden like a teddy bear with me?”
“Being without each other… Isn’t it hateful?”
“If you think my cheekbones are prominent, just wait until you see the bone in my pants.”
“I would have dinner with you even if I wasn’t hungry.”
“I never want to say ‘LATERZ!’ to you.”
“Who cares about decent? I am turned on!”
“I would sponsor a serial killer just to get your attention.”
“I’d like to get some from you… And I’m not talking about cigarettes.”
“Would you let me come into your ‘cab’ with my 'harpoon’?”
“I would drink your coffee even if the sugar was drugged.”
“My chemical defect for you could never put me on the losing side.”
“So, you’ve got a boyfriend then? I’ll have you either way. It’s all fine.”
“If I met you at work, I’d totally leave my number under a dish.”
“You make me go ‘Oh my GAAAAAWD!’ more than a hydraulic bed.”
“I’d hit that 1895 times.”
“It’s a good thing I find breathing boring, because you take my breath away.”
“I regret deleting the solar system, because you are out of this world.”
“I’ll be the knife and you be the Cluedo board: Let me pin you against the wall.”
“Do I want to see some more of you? Oh, God yes.”
“I wanted to be a pirate so I could get at your booty.”
“I would chase you all over London even if my limp wasn’t psychosomatic.”
“The flirting’s not over. I could never have enough of you.”
“I would take your hand even if we weren’t handcuffed fugitives.”
“I know you don’t want anything, but I bet I can change your mind.”
“It’s going to take more than three patches to cure my addiction to you.”
“You are really my area.”
“I would dress for you the way I dress going to Buckingham Palace.”
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but riding crops excite me.”
“Oh, so the Internet thinks you look like an otter? Well, I think you otter be in my bed.”
“You do count… Even if I didn’t need a suicide assistant.”
“My idea of a romantic lunch date: Two bags of Quavers and analyzing dirt!”
“We’re so domestic, people are even shipping our mugs.”
“I’d like to snuggle under a blanket with you even if we weren’t in shock.”
“I think you’re neater than poisoned children.”
“I can’t take my eyes off of you… No, really. I can’t. It’s for an experiment.”
“I’d like to conduct a Study in your Pink.”
“The newspaper says that you’re a confirmed bachelor… Want me to fix that?”
“When I told you to take my card, I meant my V-card.”
“If you’re a hedgehog, can I be your hedge?”
“I like the ball that I brought to Bart’s, but I’d much rather play with your balls.”
“I suggest we do that thing where two people who like each other go out and have fun.”
“Wanna know how I suddenly became Mr. Sex?”
