the line up
NSFW Tumblr
find the line up on porn pin board
the line up clips
“If you meet me on the roof, a gun won’t be the only thing I put in my mouth.”
“Wanna get laid? And I don’t mean onto the pavement in front of Bart’s.â€
“Let’s meet at the pool where Carl Powers died… and then go skinnydipping.â€
“I’m sorry I let it all slide… How about banging something other than my tea on the table?â€
“You’re hotter than the bonfire I put John in.â€
“You’re the fence to my John… I can’t get over you.â€
“Mycroft says that you have the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, but I think you have the brain of my future husband.â€
“I’m not a plot device… The only function I want in your narrative is love interest.â€
“Forget finding the country squire’s legs– I’d much rather have a look at yours.â€
“John says I tend to rub people up the wrong way, but I bet I can rub you right where you like it.â€
“My coat collar isn’t the only thing that’s up.â€
“I don’t just want the D… I want the D.I.â€
“Writing my best man speech for your wedding was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… because I wasn’t the one you were marrying.â€
“You stole my heart like Eddie Van Coon stole the jade hair pin.â€
“The stage is set. The curtain rises. We are ready to begin… Sorry, didn’t I mention that I’m an exhibitionist?â€
“Wanna try some roleplaying? You’re Sherlock Holmes. Wear the damn hat.â€
“I don’t just want you to be the shadow that defines my every sunny day– I want you to be my future too.â€
“Our sex is like a crime– the weirder it is, the more I get off.â€
“You’re sweeter than the sugar I thought the Baskerville drug was in.â€
“I would love you even if you looked (and smelled) the part for one of my homeless network.â€
“Sorry about all the music. I play the violin when I’m thinking, and I can’t stop thinking about you.â€
“Your feelings for me are more obvious than the password on John’s computer.â€
“Fighting off a swordsman isn’t the only thing I’d like to do on my kitchen table.â€
“You are a work of art, with or without the Van Buren Supernova.â€
“You’re fancier than the restaurant John tried to propose to Mary in.â€
“Will you be the experiment to my Sherlock? I want to do you in the kitchen.â€
“Tie me up like a Serbian with a cheating wife and no electricity in his bathroom would.â€
“I bet I can make you wetter than the place where Carl Powers died.â€
“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.â€
“You are the crack in my lens.â€
“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.â€
“Suicide as street theatre and murder by corpse aren’t the only ways I can spoil you.â€
Okay, folks. Let’s talk about the keychains some more.Above I put a badly Photoshopped idea of what they should look like, as well as a few random examples with different pick-up lines. (Sorry the London scene is all wibbly– I put a paintbrush
“You not loving me would mean more misfortune and disaster than the Second Afghan War.â€
“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?â€
“Criminal masterminds don’t really have special outfits, but I’ll make an exception for you in the bedroom.â€
“I would help a drug addict dig up a one hundred and twenty year old grave just to spend time with you.â€
“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.â€
“Without you, my heart is more broken than the glass used to create Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost.â€
“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.â€
“Ignore the illustrator. You’re so unforgettable, I would recognize you with or without a mustache.â€
“I am glad you liked my potato, but I bet that’s not the only thing about me you would like.â€
“I would leave a note at the scene of a crime I didn’t commit just to ask if you missed me.â€
“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.â€
“From a drop of water, a logician should be able to infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara, but they’re gonna need a hell of a lot more than that to infer how wet I can make you.â€
“Will you be the pipe to my Holmes? I want you in my mouth.â€
“Are you the dust on Sherlock’s mantle? Because I want to lick you.â€
“If you were 221b, I would never let the illustrator make you drab and dingy.â€
“If you were one of the reporters outside, I would do so much more than just make tea for you.â€
“Poetry or truth? Well, if we’re talking about your beauty, I’d say they’re the same thing.â€
“I must be Moriarty, because I can live without the back of my head easier than I can live without you.â€
“I get lost in your eyes easier than other people get lost in the Carmichaels’ hedge maze.â€
“Anyone could be the Abominable Bride, but only you could be my bride.â€
“If you left me, my heart would shatter like the six busts of Margaret Thatcher.â€
“Are you the London Aquarium? Because you’re soaking wet and coming inside you made me go to Heaven.â€
“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime… But only if you use them with me.â€
“Are you the well that Victor Trevor died in? Because I’m about to go deep inside you and feel how wet you are.”
“Will you be the Redbeard to my Yellowbeard?”
“Yes, I am having an earthquake. You shake up my world.”
“Forget the morgue. My real favorite room is your bedroom.”