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anatomicdeadspace:Bertha Boronda, guilty of “Mayhem” for cutting off her husbands penis with a straight razor, San Jose California 1907.
mgherian: We’re at a family reunion and some dude asked my dad when I was getting married and with a totally straight face my dad was like “we’re just going to give her to whichever young man can provide us with the largest flock of goats”
vriskamindfangserket: toyosatomimi: darckcarnival: HOW THE FUCK DID THIS GUY KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE… you know, just your regular work week. i want this to be the only news clip in existence for this time period a thousand years in the future.
cloverblob:so today a middle-aged white lady wanted to purchase a dvd of bee movie and i was like “by the way all movies are fifty percent off so it’s only Ū today” and she looked at me and with a straight face she said “oh i am going to party
deepredroom: #the world would be a better place if more people were like steve rogers I watched this film expecting a straight faced Team America, but I was totally won over and then won over again when they had him playing Captain America Fuck Yeah
nothing-rhymes-with-ianto: stephencolberts: Stephen Colbert on Oreo’s “Gay” Cookie Agenda HOW DID HE DO THIS AND KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE THE WHOLE TIME. I LOST IT AT ‘LICKING THEIR CREAM OFF’.
spicywatson: dghda out of context pt 2 | pt 1 #savedirkgently
I’m really amused by the thought of Mike’s guys tailing Kim and Jimmy just watching their cartoon scam shenanigans between mundane lawyer stuff and then relaying everything to straight-faced Mike like “and then the guy, who, again, is
“sobbing, omg screaming, literally dead” I type as I sit straight-faced and completely devoid of visible emotion in front of my laptop I am very literal and I post the actual reaction I had.
murdeirin: The Straight-Faced Science Boy I couldn’t resist drawing this xD (dammit those pikachu boxers lol), based on this Vocaloid song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbfBGnULUJ4
luxrayvysion:Dying over Ash’s face here
drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm
mostly10: the little eye twitch in the second gif is where you see cas turn into misha-trying-to-keep-a-straight-face it. is. glorious.
sk-raveness: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of
romanoh: I may tag things with “I’m crying” or “SCREAMING” but I am sitting in my room in the dark covered in blankets with a straight face and I literally haven’t spoken a word in over twelve hours
butterflyinthewell: ozeia: bwwwssssshhhhhhhhh: This is beautiful omg??? I’m laughing but this is also really intensely ominous As a choir girl I find this hysterical. HOW DID THEY KEEP STRAIGHT FACES???
mitch-moreland: rosalieswan: bangmybangwithabang: laughingalonewithklingon: sxizzor: thefrankiieffect: alangwiggy: corink: darckcarnival: HOW THE FUCK DID THIS GUY KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE… Move over ABC 7 news, there is a new sheriff in town
jacquerel: Did you ever wonder what it must be like to recording the opening themes to children’s cartoons A group of grown men standing stoically in a soundroom, trying to keep a straight face singing about Beyblades
iwanttohugalandmass: jacquerel: Did you ever wonder what it must be like to recording the opening themes to children’s cartoons A group of grown men standing stoically in a soundroom, trying to keep a straight face singing about Beyblades loving
eleanorose123: Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soulThat love never lasts.And we’ve got to find other ways to make it alone.Or keep a straight face.And I’ve always lived like thisKeeping a comfortable distance.And up until now I have sworn to myselfThat
silent-wordsmith:Official petition to replace “in the closet” with “keeping a straight face”
dimplydan:my friend just said ”instead of being ‘in the closet’ why don’t we call it ‘keeping a straight face’??” and that’s quite possibly the best thing she’s ever said
princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that
allonsyforever: artsmermaid: ITS A POST!!!!!! WHY HAVENT I SEEN THIS IN POST FORM BEFORE!!!! David Tennant keeping a straight face in this scene is the best acting that has ever happened in history and no one can convince me otherwise
itsnotmaybelline: I think the most impressive thing is his straight face throughout the video
[aggressively thinks about having sex with you while keeping a straight face]
lolinepeta: i can read hardcore kinky ass fanfiction with a straight face but i cant say hi to some people over the internet without blushing bye
i-just-need-to-let-it-be-and-rp:Rome stared at Jean for a few moments. He didn’t know what to say or how to sign it. He grabbed the book and flipped through the pages, giving up and pulling out a pencil to write on it.‘I may be authority but
fivevanyaklaus:I look and I feel ridiculous. I have no idea how they did this stuff with a straight face.
citrineasguardian:“my child is fine”Your child literally reads smut with a straight face while eating breakfast like it’s the morning paper.
andava: Marty hasn’t noticed Chloe failing to keep a straight face and Faye behind the counter, hiking up the skirt and going to town on Chloe. Chloe belongs to Saltycounch/ pumi kumi We all know who the other redheads belong to @redraider91+ WEBSITE
chiefrockkaa: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court
leons-sexy-hairflip: mikky ur boyfriend says these kinds of things regularly look at your life look at your choices BUT LOOK AT HIM HE’S SO CUTE OKAYANYONE WHO CAN SAY INTERTUBES WITH A STRAIGHT FACE IS ADORABLE
secretsexcloset: secretsexcloset: Hmmm, what to order…. milkshake? Think you could keep a straight face?
drewinthings:They told me if I did the straight faces wild mamba in the shower I could be in an @americanapparelusa ad. Guess the jokes on me, kids. (at regret )
@AnnaBanks: I finally let him take a photo after he kept asking for like twenty minutes straight.
fictional-idiot: *reads the dirtiest smut you will ever see with a straight face* *giggles and screams and has basically a heart attack when my otp glances at eachother*
fuckyfuckyfoo: yellow11801: heavhands7: Boob Twerking Remix And done with a straight face :)💛💛💛 Love it!!
gingersnapwolves: alluringabyss: Kingsman: The Secret Service 2014 I read that Colin Firth did 80% of his own stunts and as impressive as it is I think the most impressive thing he did in this movie is deliver this line with a straight face.
thehomonextdoor: jykinturah: kimpossibooty: professoroakofficial: isaacjamess: One of the best out takes from any television show, ever. HE FUCKING STRAIGHT-FACED THAT This man is a guardian of the galaxy you can just see the split second where
rebelziid: [ Special Post ] Hot Asian Stud [ Tight muscley bod , great smile ] Do you prefer him smiling or straight face ?
jaegerivaille: romanoh: I may tag things with “I’m crying" or “SCREAMING" but I am sitting in my room in the dark covered in blankets with a straight face and I literally haven’t spoken a word in over twelve hours it’s whats on
track 24 of shape.memory.music will never fail to pierce me straight through the heart.
geographically-challenged: True story…hubby works at a grocery store. A woman came in, bought groceries including a cucumber. Before walking out she asked hubby, while keeping a straight face, if she could bring the cucumber back if it didn’t fit.
rumbellewillbethedeathofme: How did they keep a straight face?
bigmammallama5: sheprobably: i want to see carmilla rubbing her cheek on laura but not even affectionately like i want her to do it with a straight face just broodily marking her tiny gay with serious determination sorry
deejpluto: You know that nut is good when you can keep a straight face
spoken-not-written: [aggressively thinks about having sex with you while keeping a straight face]
knottygirlscout: jykinturah: kimpossibooty: professoroakofficial: isaacjamess: One of the best out takes from any television show, ever. HE FUCKING STRAIGHT-FACED THAT This man is a guardian of the galaxy you can just see the split second where
f0reverart1stic:*writes lol a million times with a straight face*ig: f0reverart1stic
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![rebelziid: [ Special Post ] Hot Asian Stud [ Tight muscley bod , great smile ] Do you prefer him smiling or straight face ?](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a04320b31ffd0e269c15decbb355983b/tumblr_om7mh0sCer1szfxjmo1_250.jpg)
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