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“I know caring is not an advantage, but that hasn’t stopped me from caring about you.”
“Let me be your Action Man. Your brother won’t be able to break me.”
“I promise not to shout Graham, Gavin, or Geoff during sex.”
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“Is your meat dagger on Twitter? Because I’d like to get that on text alert.”
“I fell for you harder than Rupert Graves in the gag reel.”
“I would date a sociopath just to make you wonder if it was serious.”
“I would love you even if you stabbed my hand with a fork.”
“You don’t need to pay £2,995 to be my V.I.P.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, followers! My love for you all is… immortal ;)
“If you meet me on the roof, a gun won’t be the only thing I put in my mouth.”
Happy April Fool’s Day, followers! I hope you’re all having a blast playing harmless pranks on each other.(Sorry I didn’t get this up earlier today… I’m borrowing my aunt’s wi-fi right now because mine isn’t working… Hopefully
“I want you to ‘meat’ my ‘dagger.’“
Merry Christmas, Tumblr! If any of you want to finish that fic, I’ll reblog the best ones.
“If you were a Baskerville Hound, I would get drugged on purpose just to see you.â€
“I want to say ‘I love you’ to you more often than Holmes says ‘features of interest.’“
“My balls are bluer than the carbuncle Watson wrote about.â€
“Do you have a feet fetish? Because my game is afoot.â€
“Anyone could be the Abominable Bride, but only you could be my bride.â€
“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.â€
“My name may be Diamond, but you’re the one who shines bright like one.â€(Yes, according to the credits, that flight attendant’s name is Diamond.)
“If you think Mycroft is enormous, just wait until you see my dick.â€
“I want my mind palace to have your details so perfect, I won’t need drugs to be immersed in them.â€
“I never understood the murderous jealousy of the one who wrote about the obliquity of the ecliptic until I saw you with another man.â€
“Are you my fridge? Because I want to stick my body parts in you.â€
“I don’t care whether your birthday video is cut or uncut, but I am curious about something else of yours.â€
“Magnussen shouldn’t be the only one who knows how you taste.â€
“Now why don’t you stop beating that corpse and put that riding crop to good use?â€Submitted by @call-me-mrs-moriarty.
“I would let you in my house even if you were a reptile.â€
“Are you Mrs. Hudson’s car? Because I wanna take you for a ride.â€
“I would smile at you on a bus even if you didn’t have a daisy behind your ear.â€
“I have a problem… and there is only one way that I can solve it… I need to kiss someone.â€
“Show me your Lady Bracknell and I’ll give you my salty seaman.”Submitted (with photo suggestion) by a user who requested to remain anonymous.
“If you came to my house in the middle of the night, my umbrella sword isn’t the only thing I’d be whipping out.”
“Are you the well that Victor Trevor died in? Because I’m about to go deep inside you and feel how wet you are.”
“I could never forget you, even if my dad gave me TD12.”
“No balloon could ever be a substitute for you.”
“Yes, I am having an earthquake. You shake up my world.”
“Are you Eurus’s cell? Because I refuse to stay at least three feet away from you.”
“Would you like to have a night of passion in High Wycombe with me?”
“You can call me Giles if I can call you mine.”
“Are you Culverton Smith? Because you take my breath away.”
“Are you one of the boys from the cafe? Because I would let you drop me… into your bed.”
“You make me even more incredibly happy than killing human beings does.”
“If you were credit, I would take you even after John published his blog.”
“I would let you give me a hug even if I didn’t need to send and delete a text on your phone.”
“We’re not like the gravestones at Musgrave Hall. Our dates will never be wrong.”
“I hope nobody needs to say ‘Norbury’ to me when I ask you out.”
“I usually make clients sit in The Chair, but you can sit on my face if you’d prefer.”
“Mycroft is right about the list of people who love me not being long, but you’re the only one I need on it anyway.”
“I would let you look in my ‘lymph nodes’ even if I wasn’t missing my limbs.”
“My love for you is so strong, not even Sherrinford could contain it.”
“Forget the Thatcher busts. The only bust I’m interested in is yours.”
“Your ass is like Rosie’s rattle: If you keep throwing it in my face, I’ll keep grabbing it.”
“The Borgia Pearl is too boring for me, but I’d love to make you my Borgia girl.”
“The ‘sixteen by six’ in Eurus’s song is actually referring to the length and circumference of my penis.”
The best of postmortem Jim (seasons three and four), based on number of notes.
I… I don’t even know, you guys. It was supposed to be something cute with Rosie’s first Easter and some domestic Johnlock, but then there was a murder bunny and an infant somehow able to solve crimes and it all turned to crack. I regret nothing.Hap
In Eurus’s defense, Sharon from the PTA totally deserved to have her head severed and stuffed with candy.Happy Mother’s Day, all!~ Froggy, your admin
