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“My coat collar isn’t the only thing that’s up.”

“My coat collar isn’t the only thing that’s up.”

“I must be 221b’s wallpaper, because you’re making me smile.”

“I must be 221b’s wallpaper, because you’re making me smile.”

“Crap telly and chill?”

“Crap telly and chill?”

“We can’t eat in the kitchen because Sherlock keeps experiments in it. Shall I take you out to dinner instead?”

“We can’t eat in the kitchen because Sherlock keeps experiments in it. Shall I take you out to dinner instead?”

“Wanna try some roleplaying? You’re Sherlock Holmes. Wear the damn hat.”

“Wanna try some roleplaying? You’re Sherlock Holmes. Wear the damn hat.”

“I would go back in time during our fourth season just to be able to say that I’ve loved you for centuries.”

“I would go back in time during our fourth season just to be able to say that I’ve loved you for centuries.”

“Sherlock must not know anything about you, because you are a star.”

“Sherlock must not know anything about you, because you are a star.”

“Finding someone as beautiful as you is more difficult than getting Sherlock to follow the rules of Cluedo.”

“Finding someone as beautiful as you is more difficult than getting Sherlock to follow the rules of Cluedo.”

“I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the color pink.”

“I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the color pink.”

“I’m the perfect boyfriend: I’m very loyal, very quickly, and I’m not interested in anything your brother offers me.”

“I’m the perfect boyfriend: I’m very loyal, very quickly, and I’m not interested in anything your brother offers me.”

“I would make you my bride even if you were abominable.”

“I would make you my bride even if you were abominable.”

“You say alone protects you, but I know of another kind of protection that we can use together.”(Edit: This graphic was originally uploaded with Sherlock’s font instead of John’s, even though John’s supposed to be the one saying the pick-up

“You say alone protects you, but I know of another kind of protection that we can use together.”(Edit: This graphic was originally uploaded with Sherlock’s font instead of John’s, even though John’s supposed to be the one saying the pick-up

Happy Halloween, followers! Sorry again I had to upload this so late. (And yes, that’s a Goomba on Sherlock’s face. I was gonna do a Luigi hat, but that would have been too predictable.)

Happy Halloween, followers! Sorry again I had to upload this so late. (And yes, that’s a Goomba on Sherlock’s face. I was gonna do a Luigi hat, but that would have been too predictable.)

“My love for you is deeper than Sherlock’s voice.”

“My love for you is deeper than Sherlock’s voice.”

“When you’re away, I miss you more than John misses the battlefield.”

“When you’re away, I miss you more than John misses the battlefield.”

“I bet I can make you wetter than the fandom’s post-Reichenbach tears.”

“I bet I can make you wetter than the fandom’s post-Reichenbach tears.”

“Sherlock knows more about the solar system than you do about me… Want to fix that?”

“Sherlock knows more about the solar system than you do about me… Want to fix that?”

“I trust you more than Sherlock trusted his brother, Molly Hooper, and twenty-five at most tramps.”

“I trust you more than Sherlock trusted his brother, Molly Hooper, and twenty-five at most tramps.”

“Will you be the Sherlock to my Buckingham Palace? I want you inside of me with no clothes on.”

“Will you be the Sherlock to my Buckingham Palace? I want you inside of me with no clothes on.”

“Don’t leave me hanging. I’m not the mannequin in 221b.”

“Don’t leave me hanging. I’m not the mannequin in 221b.”

“Are you Mrs. Hudson’s cooking? Because I want you inside of me.”

“Are you Mrs. Hudson’s cooking? Because I want you inside of me.”

“I would say sweet things to you even if I knew that bombs have off switches.”

“I would say sweet things to you even if I knew that bombs have off switches.”

“I like blondes… even speckled blondes.”

“I like blondes… even speckled blondes.”

“If you were naked in front of me, I would never tell you to put on a napkin.”

“If you were naked in front of me, I would never tell you to put on a napkin.”

“When I said you were very ugly, I meant it in John Watson Sign Language.”

“When I said you were very ugly, I meant it in John Watson Sign Language.”

“You make me feel higher than Sherlock overdosing on a jet.”

“You make me feel higher than Sherlock overdosing on a jet.”

“My love for you is even more enormous than 1880s Mycroft.”

“My love for you is even more enormous than 1880s Mycroft.”

“If I tried to deny my love for you, it’d be less convincing than Hooper in a mustache.”

“If I tried to deny my love for you, it’d be less convincing than Hooper in a mustache.”

“I need you more than Lestrade needs a drink when he’s afraid.”

“I need you more than Lestrade needs a drink when he’s afraid.”

“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.”

“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“Do you have a secret twin? Because if so, I’d love to get acquainted with both of you.”

“Do you have a secret twin? Because if so, I’d love to get acquainted with both of you.”

“Are you the other me in the other place? Because I think you’re pretty damn smart.”

“Are you the other me in the other place? Because I think you’re pretty damn smart.”

“You not loving me would mean more misfortune and disaster than the Second Afghan War.”

“You not loving me would mean more misfortune and disaster than the Second Afghan War.”

“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?”

“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?”

“I bet you’re more popular than The Blue Carbuncle.”

“I bet you’re more popular than The Blue Carbuncle.”

“Ignore the illustrator. You’re so unforgettable, I would recognize you with or without a mustache.”

“Ignore the illustrator. You’re so unforgettable, I would recognize you with or without a mustache.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“I want you more than The Strand readers want proper murders.”

“I want you more than The Strand readers want proper murders.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“I am glad you liked my potato, but I bet that’s not the only thing about me you would like.”

“I am glad you liked my potato, but I bet that’s not the only thing about me you would like.”

“I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. And meeting you was clearly my happily ever after.”

“I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. And meeting you was clearly my happily ever after.”

“If you thought The Abominable Bride pushed you to mental and physical extremes, you should see what I can do in the bedroom.”

“If you thought The Abominable Bride pushed you to mental and physical extremes, you should see what I can do in the bedroom.”

“Are you Mrs. Hudson? Because I need to give you more lines… More pick-up lines, that is.”(This one got a bit meta, haha.)

“Are you Mrs. Hudson? Because I need to give you more lines… More pick-up lines, that is.”(This one got a bit meta, haha.)

“I know what a nurse is capable of, but I still say that you’re excessively skilled for one.”

“I know what a nurse is capable of, but I still say that you’re excessively skilled for one.”

“If you were Sherlock’s veins, I would be cocaine just so I could get inside of you.”

“If you were Sherlock’s veins, I would be cocaine just so I could get inside of you.”

“Did Holmes learn about jets from you? Because you’re pretty fly.”

“Did Holmes learn about jets from you? Because you’re pretty fly.”

“If someone accused me of loving you, I’d be guiltier than a brother with a green ladder.”

“If someone accused me of loving you, I’d be guiltier than a brother with a green ladder.”

“Are you Sherlock Holmes? Because I wanna see you shake your mind pal-ass.”

“Are you Sherlock Holmes? Because I wanna see you shake your mind pal-ass.”

“Are you from a future world? Because I want to get your telephone contraption number.”

“Are you from a future world? Because I want to get your telephone contraption number.”

“I want to say ‘I love you’ to you more often than Holmes says ‘features of interest.’“

“I want to say ‘I love you’ to you more often than Holmes says ‘features of interest.’“

“If you think Mycroft is enormous, just wait until you see my dick.”

“If you think Mycroft is enormous, just wait until you see my dick.”

“I don’t care whether your birthday video is cut or uncut, but I am curious about something else of yours.”

“I don’t care whether your birthday video is cut or uncut, but I am curious about something else of yours.”

Whether you’re celebrating with your dad, “daddy,” or some other paternal figure, I hope you all have a great one!

Whether you’re celebrating with your dad, “daddy,” or some other paternal figure, I hope you all have a great one!

“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.”

“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.”

“Are you Mrs. Hudson’s car? Because I wanna take you for a ride.”

“Are you Mrs. Hudson’s car? Because I wanna take you for a ride.”

“Are you the well that Victor Trevor died in? Because I’m about to go deep inside you and feel how wet you are.”

“Are you the well that Victor Trevor died in? Because I’m about to go deep inside you and feel how wet you are.”

“I find you more fascinating than an unmoving Toby.”

“I find you more fascinating than an unmoving Toby.”

“Are you the R in A.G.R.A.? Because you’re the rose of my world.”

“Are you the R in A.G.R.A.? Because you’re the rose of my world.”

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