not my kids
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I found out about my kid brother’s crush on me and I’m not letting him live it down. Look at the text I sent with this picture! “see these big natural tits? u will nvr get 2 touch them! haha” Of course I’m lying, but I want
“Heyy! Don’t make fun of how much I tan! You’ve got a mouth on you, little brother. Don’t make me wrestle you! I always beat you when we were kids and I bet that I could beat you now.” Whether or not my sexy big sis intended
“You said it was time for bed, big brother, so I got in my PJs! Mom and Dad might get you to babysit me, but I’m not a kid anymore. They’re overprotective, but how about how I show you how much of an adult I really am? I know you’r
Clifford the big red dog by *sandara -Weeps- OH MY GOD ==================== Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either. Like, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum.Â
daddys-helper: He may be a few years younger than me, but my kid brother sure fucks like a man. I have heard of this, but I haven’t read any stories, that I can remember, where the older brother was the uke. So I’m not sure where I heard it, but
the-queen-of-ok: spevvy: destinedforjohnlock: john-without-a-holmes: are you fucking kidding me. well hello I have no idea who this is or what the hell is going on but I feel I ought to reblog it because it looks scientifically important. This
wildsidelife: A hazard on playing on the playground equipment when you chose not to wear panties. Now where did my kids run off too?
asksweetdhalia: Nope~ Still suck….but at least I suck a little less each time ^^ Are you kidding? Look at dat flank~ Mmmm~hehe thanks for drawing smitty ^^You are one of my favorite artists and i love your artwork, having this doneIs nothing short
but-the-kid-is-not-my-son: lecteronthelam: Sleep tight by Syllirium Asdfghjkl its so fluffy
jacensolodjo: shiftythrifting: Every day I drive home to my house and pass this thrift store. I kid you not, this is for sale. No one’s bought it yet. People actually pose with this raptor, take pictures, and post it to social media. Cheers. @karlika
ponpongoawei: i say “buy me things” a lot for someone who has a fit of guilt every time someone pays for my lunch
I have spent a month and half in college and I can honestly say I have learned jack shit. I’m taking five classes, three of which have nothing to do with my major or minor, but still. I have learned nothing! I learned more in one class in high school
sunshineinmyveins:dynastylnoire: jungleminx: salon: Just as European sex ed programs are looking to urge more births to combat falling fertility rates, the U.S. might be seeing similar trends in its own birth rate. Not just yet, though. But, according
secretsunkept: dreamyjc: jehovahhthickness: bubblegum-pwussay: jehovahhthickness: Me as a parent. I can’t take my wealth with me when I die so obviously I gotta let my kids have it. I always say this those millionaires who say there not guna
onlyhalfginger: get-nerdy: mewtoot: garrettgregg: mewtoot: for the longest time i thought shoes on a telephone wire was just people getting rid of their old shoes in a cool way It’s not?… no it means that someone sells drugs nearby my life
sarahakele: just so we’re clear if i ever become famous you guys totally have my 100% permission to use me to get back at any bitches who teased you in school like im not even kidding just send me a message with your situation and i will fly my ass
I’m watching this documentary about how Hollywood fucked up the image of Native Americans and there’s this Austrian man who came to the States. He’s a counselor at this kids camp and he’s painting them in green paint, not even
nrmndr: If I go throughout life and fail at my aspirations I just want to make sure I teach my kids that although I was not a good example to follow, I was a great idea
piratejay133: circa2playhouse: ~I’ve never sugar coated anything in my entire life. Not at home, with my kids or at work. Point blank. I don’t sugarcoat
completelybackasswards: thegirlwhomakesnosense: “Anime sucks.” “I’m not letting my kids watch anime.” “Anime is from the devil.” “Anime is a bad influence on my children.” “Anime is nothing but
pun-cat: myblackeyeddemon: didanthology: multiplicityandme: deoxyribonucleics: on wednesday someone in my class asked what schizophrenia was and these were the exact words my teacher said im not fucking kidding:“schizophrenia, or bipolar as its
salma: yaoibutts: shavingryansprivates: introducing… SPOONS! OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO PISS MYSELF This kid needs a nobel prize
insideageniusmind: thecalicokid: This one needed it’s own post I feel for these kids. Cause my parents are literally so chill. I could ask to drive to the zoo at 4AM and the only question I’d get is as to whether or not my phone is charged. So
amoisthobo:I’m not gon lie, when I was. Kid I used to drink pool water!!! The chlorine poisoning is prolly what’s wrong wit me now!!
“I play Monopoly with my kids, that’s really fun. My nine year old, she can totally do Monopoly. The six year old totally gets how the game works but she’s not emotionally developed enough to handle her inevitable loss in every game of Monopoly
pun-cat: myblackeyeddemon: didanthology:multiplicityandme: deoxyribonucleics: on wednesday someone in my class asked what schizophrenia was and these were the exact words my teacher said im not fucking kidding:“schizophrenia, or bipolar as its called,
batreaux: i get paid in trident layers. it is not the life you would think. i cannot obtain nutrients and my wife left me. my kids have very strong jaws
didanthology:multiplicityandme: deoxyribonucleics: on wednesday someone in my class asked what schizophrenia was and these were the exact words my teacher said im not fucking kidding:“schizophrenia, or bipolar as its called, is when you have like…
nadork: branddawn: brandonhannibal: my senior quote I cant wait to say this to my kids ^ dont ever ever ever become a parent you vile person. not even haha
ruinedchildhood: This prank is so mean I swear to god I would MURDER my husband. I would be LIVID. I would feel so much terror thinking my kid is seriously hurt. Scare me with a fake ghost not this shit
angel-likes-running: nafialovo: FREEDOM this is the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life. not even kidding. oh my god I’m so in love with this photoset
mishacollinsbutt: houseofcobras: houseofcobras: so at my school there’s a bunch of clubs. one of them is called the “Pie Club” once a month we stay after school and eat pie. i have found my calling im not even kidding so at first I was
r32y: one of my biggest life goals is not having my kids wondering which parent they’re gonna spend the holidays with first.
THESE BITCHES HURT. my friend and I were fucking with one at the beach and the damn thing stung me. we thought it was dead. obviously not. my finger got all puffy and swollen and warm and I thought I was gonna die. moral of the story kids : don’t
allie-nicole: aubreytruthfully: decisivelychallenged: [x] Never has more truth been spoken. I’m too far into this fandom to ever leave. It ate my soul…I’m not even kidding. Sam didn’t get his soul back, they just put my soul in there instead.
Today my dad and I went out for dessert and the waitress thought I was like 12 and before we could correct her she gave me a free sundae because it was kid’s day, sometimes it’s not so bad looking like a baby
i have to read this book for class called the color of water and it’s basically my life. not the number of siblings or the abject poverty (i just have one brother and though we were poor, my grandparents kept us from being destitute), but the identity
Literally don’t even bother buying your baby toys Wanna know my daughters favorite toys? -an empty water bottle -the safety tag on her playmat -her burpcloth -my face Wanna know what’s NOT her favorite toy? -her 30$ Sophie La Giraffe teething
tardis-kid: -Dan “Soupy” Campbell not my photo just my edit.
askthefamilyoflove: Ruby: At least we managed to not get Garnet expelled from school,That Jasper kid’s gonna be fine ( Maybe, I think I heard something about a crooked nose..) and we grounded her from T.V, so she’s learning her lesson!Sapphire: You
surrendercontrol: this is my life in chastity. day after day of promises in the morning that turn into lies by the evening. its not my wife’s fault. the kids are the worst cock-blocks in existence.
Hello Dash! I wanted to give you something on your birthday, so I drew your kids floating in space ;0; I apologize for any bad quality, my computer/scanner’s been acting up. I just wish that you have a great day today, and happy birthday!! aaAA MY
oh, in case any of you were wondering about my essay (probably not), when i went to class today the other students managed to convince the teacher to extend the deadline. now its due friday.:’)
Dude I’m suppose to be drinking 85ounces of water a day….I kid you not I will either pee my pants or drown
![allie-nicole: aubreytruthfully: decisivelychallenged: [x] Never has more truth been spoken. I’m too far into this fandom to ever leave. It ate my soul…I’m not even kidding. Sam didn’t get his soul back, they just put my soul in there instead.](https://64.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8d9mvrTRs1qjxl1no1_250.gif)
