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dragons-and-art: Have something old but happier An AU in where the twins grew with their mom instead of their shit dad and grandpa duo
“I’m in jail, my brother played–”And then I stopped reading. Seriously. People. Nobody is ever going to buy that shit. Your so called brother/cousin/mom/cat/whatever is Openkore. Tell me how does it feel to be a close relative
onenaughtyfamily: Holy shit, I can’t believe I remembered to pull out this time!“Yeah, but my pussy does feel kind of cold without your cum…”Haha don’t worry about it, go show mom how good you did, and come back in like 15, I’ll be
mommydearestthings: incestqueen: ms-oedipussex: THE 2015 MOTHER-SON BREEDING SEASON HAS BEGUN!!!Oh, son….-Mom 💋 holy shit It is always fun for both mother and son when it is time to breed Mommy.
sketch-a-bsinthe: Here’s Qirsa! I love big girls yes she’s huge shark mom Can’t think of a nice story to write this time, i’ve been working on commissions all day and writing in english is super hard holy shit lol. I like to think that she doesn’t
blewis50: briansandstorm: priiincessaurum: dopenmind: Reblogging this once more because my mom and I legitimately laughed to tears. LMAOOOOOOOO HOLY FUCKIN SHIT THIS IS GOLD!!! I have to say I’m in “tears”. Dammmmnnnn!
daisypeach: daisypeach: you guys all talk about how “petty” you are but one time my mom was so annoyed that the house was a mess that she made an actual vlog of her walking around the house and calling out every single family member for their shit
teasemewithyourcock: If someone buy me Roasted Garlic Alfredo Bucatini with Italian Meatballs from Olive Gardens, I will totally get on my knees and give you head.
floozys: floozys: floozys: omg ok i found my mom’s dildo on my sisters 18th birthday and i had to go in a limo like 5 minutes later and everyone else was like having fun and dancing and shit and like the whole journey i was just sitting in the corner
I’m at the salon waiting for my mom’s hair to be finished and there’s a really tiny old lady getting her hair cut and they asked her if her hair was dyed black and she looked at them and said “No shit.”
moriarty: moriarty: whenever my mom’s stupid friends smile and nod and tell me shit like “you know you’re going to miss your parents when you go to college, right? you might not feel like it now but you will” i just fucking laugh inside because
bustysluttymilfs: Mom does some really crazy shit when she drinks before noon. Like flashing her ass at all of my classmates when she picks me up from school, or inviting my friends over for sleepovers, even when it’s my weekend to go spend with dad.
morning’s shit as ever his mom hit me for not getting dressed quickly enough even though our right leg’s not functional right now
lesliecrusher: so not only has olivia lost her daughter twice, she’s lost a mother figure twice (her birth mom & nina) well also two partners man she must be so done with this shit
paintmelikeoneofyourpotatoheads: applespirate: Bunch of goddamn nerds in the same apartment shit man Use this one mom
formerlymyladymother-blog: robb, 17, westeros. king in the north. chances are you know my name, but NOT my story. fuck lannisters. fuck joffrey. fuck betrothals (lmao love my baby talisa two months strong <3). fuck moms i dont need your shit. fuck
my-mom-is-ginger: vicael: bonnibelbubblegum: theamericankid: The Reverse Map of the World - If land masses dominated instead of water #YOU COULD DRIVE ANYWHERE holy shit You don’t know how long I have been waiting for this.
akrystalkupcake: elijahkrantz: I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit Nicely done. I went the
iporygon: therightnippleofgilgamesh: a genre-aware white haired anime boy that dyes his hair in protagonist colours in an attempt to avoid his tragic fate Anime mom untying her side ponytail when shit starts going down to avoid death
razzledazzy: MOM HANDED ME A BIG ENVELOPE SAYING I GOT IT IN THE MAIL AND BEING A SMART ASS I SAID ‘WHAT IS IT FROM THE PRESIDENT’ AND IT’S FROM THE FUCKING WHITE HOUSE APPARENTLY THEY SENT THIS BACK BECAUSE I WAS A SHIT AND INVITED THEM TO
condemnedtorocknroll: dereksdylan:kittenmesis:splicerthedicer:shooti: paintmelikeoneofyourpotatoheads: applespirate: Bunch of goddamn nerds in the same apartment shit man Use this one mom PlzBringVodkaToApt1310 I was going to point out the ones
johnhoustonstockton: just wanna get rich enough to buy my mom all the shit she deserves and then die
em-exceeds-change-zearu: random thought but i’m just siting here wonderin’ why ash don’t get no open jacket in his character designs no more like look i love his lil’ short sleeved vest jacket looks n’ hoodies and shit his mom sews for him
tinsnip: ladyyatexel: My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on Tuesday that I’d be down and out for about two weeks. My brother: TWO WEEKS? Holy shit. Surgeon: Well, consider this. She and I just had a knife fight. And I won. Because
milfs-matures-other-dirty-shit: Now its official… Your mom has shown her snatch to everyone
fallinghorizon: Okay now this deserves to be re-blogged rather than half naked girls or expensive shit like seriously grow a damn heart. Bless you and your mom. awww cutest sweetest thing ever… c’:
doncasturbate: when ur mom talks shit about you on the phone to family members
perks-of-being-chinese: when i was a kid, i asked my dad where babies came from and he said something like “ur mom had a stomach ache and she went to the bathroom n then came out with you” and i feel like thats his way of calling me a piece of shit
commanderabutt: crusherccme: my aunt found this for me. as a woman going into engineering, it really speaks to me HOLY SHIT the first time I saw this i read it as “Mom always wanted to marry”
givemeunicorns: weepingwilo: mikekingvividkonception: volatilequeen: The distractions… Shit is crazy out here I swear I was just talking to my mom about how no one is talking about Flint anymore as if the water problem has ceased. Smdh Hey guys
things-buppy-likes: I think I’m feeling like such shit today because I was on the phone with my mom for the first time in 5 months and tried to ask her for advice and in return just got a hour long rant about her recent “visions” and absolutely
sabubu91: rideitslut: rural-mom: stonecoldstunning: men took my little pony away from us girls so us teen girls are takin pro wrestling fuck yall just try n stop us have fun fetishizing the shit out of *real life* celebrities. it actually makes
machinalvenus: mom: throws my door open, barges into my room expecting me to be doing some illegal sneaky shit me:
blu-force-a-nature: bloodyarchimedes: krunkidile: OH SHIT, DAD’S BACK.In my new video. MOM MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
h0odrich: did ur mom poop you out cuz ur a piece of shit
batchix: reptiglo: kiango: faggitvekubby: innasauce: tulabear: acidshenko: enfeebler: naathaaaly: Reason why I hate cats. They’re so scary. #Reasons why I hate babies #they do this and everyone blames the pet No shit! My mom taught me early
violetlamp: illith-anthonar: Mom fuck you and your gay crusty angel you’ve been topping the tree with for like 20+ years. This Christmas we do shit MY way, and that means Alduin sits on top of the fucking tree! FUS RO HO HO HO
linneakou: ellinorsstuff: thecarefree: nuggetsbecrispy: aviatorshadesarecool: cumberqueen: trainwreckreation: lemon-sprinkles: I cannot get over Achilles’ face in this painting. Holy shit. He’s totally like: “Oh god, mom, put a fucking
singedlace:sodomymcscurvylegs:goddamnedsh1t:sodomymcscurvylegs: opheliacmuses:operativesurprise: bigbootsandscaryeyes: sammiwolfe: fleshcircus: thats the worst shit only because my mom basically always thought I was being a little bitch when I’d
the-stray-liger:the-stray-liger:wait you mean tupperware parties are a real thing that happens in the USAholy shit I thought it was a joke about how boring the lives of suburban white moms are oh my god the ammount of people confused over the existence
lilmizzkrazie: genderlessspacerockz: The mom squad regeneration's #pearl like: ah yes beauty and precision thats the name of the game#amethyst just one loud shrugging noise#garnet like hoLY FUCKING SHIT GUESS WHOS BACK THATS RIGHT ITS ME GODDAMN
smallkorean: indigoninja: So I was hoping to have the family shit stay as private as possible, but my mom requested that I do this so. My cousin, melbruja/Josh, has been taken to a “reform” school called Midwest Academy thanks to his violently
goingtobuffalo: when my mom asks me why I don’t have money for books for school but I just bought some dumb shit last week
honoronher: christel-thoughts: Where is Nicki looking like the young mogul mom at the PTA meeting sick of everyone’s shit? Hear her when she says it.
So I don’t need to be in at work until quarter to one in the afternoon. Haven’t had the joy to get real tipsy is a while, but mom gave me a glass of wine with ice. One of these Friday nights, I’m going to get shit-faced drunk with
vajoochie: HOLY SHIT PLS DO THIS OH MY GOD PLS I will write about the following. Leave one in my ask box: Dear person I hate, Dear person I like, Dear ex boyfriend, Dear ex girlfriend, Dear ex bestfriend, Dear bestfriend, Dear Santa, Dear Mom, Dear
fireferretfanatic: If this gets a shit ton of notes will your mom get you a fluffy cow
askrosettastyone: ninjastarbrony: lilyrosethedreamer: karin-tokito: You see this shit right here? This happened earlier, when I ONLY WORE A SHIRT THAT SAID “I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND”. I was grabbing milk and stuff for my mom while she got gas, and
missbrostrider: Yea so my mom was yelling at me to put on some makeup so I at least look like a girl, and me being me I just had to be a little shit and do this.
tovezza: waynedrake: i love nicky bc he constantly says stupid profound shit like “everything happens for a reason” “peace be with u” “all things must die” “its destiny” but then hes also like [at booker] “hey brat i bet u 500 quid boss-mom
aviatorshadesarecool: cumberqueen: trainwreckreation: lemon-sprinkles: I cannot get over Achilles’ face in this painting. Holy shit. He’s totally like: “Oh god, mom, put a fucking shirt on, I mean, what are you even doing? Can’t you see
kaylagrassly: thatovoandthaatxo: murzeenabaichan: Okay now this deserves to be re-blogged rather than half naked girls or expensive shit like seriously grow a damn heart. Bless you and your mom. I Reblog this every time i see it<3 beautiful.
just-lindsey: psychedelicfelon: noctom-poetom: Damn this hit me hard , I needed this talk as a little girl. s/o to her mom for destroying the self hate in such a great way This shit almost made me cry lol Yes. What a great mommy
fifi-uchiha: Just… Imagine how Naruto would have freaked out if it hadn’t been made clear that Sakura was Sarada’s real mom.“You little goddamn shit! After all those years while she was waiting for your emo haired ass to come back! After all
I cannot get over Achilles’ face in this painting. Holy shit. He’s totally like: “Oh god, mom, put a fucking shirt on, I mean, what are you even doing? Can’t you see I’m busy lamenting the death of my boyfriend? Like I really need to see
basyvern: shwit: blue-eyed-hanji: snorlaxlovesme: I FOUND OUT WHAT THE NEW BOX REMINDS ME OF shit only difference is either your mom buys it for you or she gets eaten by it You eat it or it eats you
mommybecamebullystrophy: You really shouldn’t have let Kevin convince you to bring your mom on the fraternity cruise, no matter how convincing his argument for “Female Chaperones” sounded. All the frat boys now eye fucked the shit outta your
![tovezza: waynedrake: i love nicky bc he constantly says stupid profound shit like “everything happens for a reason” “peace be with u” “all things must die” “its destiny” but then hes also like [at booker] “hey brat i bet u 500 quid boss-mom](https://64.media.tumblr.com/01246299c0717191d8a58a0d7d6e3236/30e839a5858c637b-89/s512x512u_c1/e634a2d3f6efe226d0b2370186d1fd6f54749c5d.jpg)
