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skimpymoms: Whenever my mom gets something out of the refrigerator, she bends over in a really exaggerated, slutty way that makes you just want to teach that bitch a lesson by ripping open her tights, leaning her over, and fucking the shit out of her
cestporncaps: “Ohh shit, Oh my god…Please… Mom, I’m gonna cum”
ctron164: prepfordwife: theblackamericanprincess: kxnyew: lordcarti: psychedelicfelon: noctom-poetom: Damn this hit me hard , I needed this talk as a little girl. s/o to her mom for destroying the self hate in such a great way This shit almost
kittenmesis: splicerthedicer: shooti: paintmelikeoneofyourpotatoheads: applespirate: Bunch of goddamn nerds in the same apartment shit man Use this one mom PlzBringVodkaToApt1310 I was going to point out the ones I thought were especially hilariou
milfcorner: Wanna fuck hottest MILFs? This is the place for you! Exclusive MILF dating site full of horny moms waiting for a good fuck! JOIN NOW FOR FREE! Holy shit those are beautiful tits!
pb81:“Holy shit, mom,” he gasped, trying to catch his breath. “Mmmmmhmmmm…,” she moaned pleasantly in response.
I saw mommy jerking of Santa Clause. Five of them. They know i won’t do anything to stop them. They know to only do this to the moms of kids on the nice list. The bad kids wouldn’t put up with this shit.
astro-nave: MONEY. Only reblogging because I’m a greedy bitch who wants money. Hey doesn’t hurt to reblog ya knoww and if money is involved…. My mom’s paycheck arrives in 4d days, THIS SHIT WORKKSS chinese feng shui knows about tumblr ?
thepyemancometh: When Mom caught me jerking off to her masturbating one night I thought I was in for some serious screaming and shit - I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect her to call me over and finish me off
chevko: girlfriendluvr: - SONICFOX ON STAGE AT THE GAME AWARDS “Wow I really won this shit! Hahaa!! Hey mom!!”
matt-ruins-feminisms-shit: dainslefsblog: scrawnyflannelman: kasaron: coca-cola-official: fierceawakening: dendritic-trees: northstarfan: monteyjames91: bogleech: topographygo: bogleech: MOM OF THE YEAR. WHERE WAS THIS ATTITUDE WHEN I WAS IN
What birthday gift would you give an estranged brother that stole over 躔 worth of cash from you, drove your mom’s car into another at age 13, destroyed tons of your shit and went over your possessions for anything of value so he could buy drugs,
My youngest brother texted me earlier today to thank me for the gift. Part of me would rather he have not done that, because forgiveness is hard as shit and moving on is not something my family is known for - hell, grandma still gives my mom a ton of
electricshambles: My mom bought me underwear. Awkward…I mean okay. holy. fucking. shit
First comic strip that i’m doing…. 8 panels like those newspaper ones (i’ll try to do one every week)
maturedadsandmen: “Fuck, Son! Your mom just called and said they’re going making her stay out in L.A. for another damn month! I’m horny as shit and I’ve been trying to hold off on beatin’ off. I don’t think I’m gonna make it!”In
trans-mom: Don’t make fun of people with stds. Don’t use stds as a joke or insult. Don’t call people with stds “gross.” I don’t fucking care who it is don’t fucking do that shit.
bojangles-memelord: roahnari: crystalclods: you have been visted by the FLOATING GARNET HEAD OF GOOD FORTUNEreblog in 20 seconds or you will NEVER have GOOD LUCK again! Oh shit, square mom. I can’t say no. can’t risk it
sucymemebabaran: melvanainchains: jellyweasel: vinegardoppio: cmaeron: this is the dumbest thing ive ever read. its basically just a bunch of adults who sit in their mom’s basement eating cheetos whining about the SJWS ™ and shitting themselves
In all honesty, if Netflix turns the whole “Steve being the team dad/mom for the Stranger Things kids” gimmick into a cheesy 80s sit-com miniseries a la “Full House” as some kind of viral marketing campaign for Season 3 I would watch the shit
Set reasonable goals. Show up. Go to a class Find a friend who has similar goals and schedule If you can. I go to the gym with my mom and she gives me shit if I try to take a day off. Do more than just the gym. I take Rosie on a 3-5 mile walk every
lol @ ppl who watch me with other ppls kids and go “awww ur so ready to be a mom!!” like um no thanks Karen I’m currently splitting my days into anxiety attacks, weed & buying shit I don’t need
facelesskinkyblackguyblog:Bitch the west nile virus is back???????The fuckin world is ending lmao this is mother nature saying that she’s tired of our shit and wants us GONEthe what nowcan someone call my mom and tell her to pick me up bc I’m
opheliacmuses: operativesurprise: bigbootsandscaryeyes: sammiwolfe: fleshcircus: thats the worst shit only because my mom basically always thought I was being a little bitch when I’d complain that it still hurts your eyes WAIT I THOUGHT IT MEANT
rideitslut: rural-mom: stonecoldstunning: men took my little pony away from us girls so us teen girls are takin pro wrestling fuck yall just try n stop us have fun fetishizing the shit out of *real life* celebrities. it actually makes the people
illbegotdamn: givemeunicorns: weepingwilo: mikekingvividkonception: volatilequeen: The distractions… Shit is crazy out here I swear I was just talking to my mom about how no one is talking about Flint anymore as if the water problem has ceased.
reginamas: i just told my mom i died at birth and i’ve been a ghost this entire time just growing and manifesting into the daughter she’d lost and she’s just like well please go to the light because i am tired of your shit
hyogisenpai: kissing the birthday boy hyogi each year is a must ~mwwahh( ˘ ³˘)♡
ʘ – ʘ
Sooo I had to buy diapers by myself for my niece and called my friends mom to ask what size I should get (cause I learned I don’t know shit about diapers) but she missed my call and sent these texts a lil after….. I read this in the middle of Walmart
formerlymyladymother-blog: robb, 17, westeros. king in the north. chances are you know my name, but NOT my story. fuck lannisters. fuck joffrey. fuck betrothals (lmao love my baby talisa two months strong <3). fuck moms i dont need your shit. fuck
honoronher: christel-thoughts: Where is Nicki looking like the young mogul mom at the PTA meeting sick of everyone’s shit? Hear her when she says it.
Okay now this deserves to be re-blogged rather than half naked girls or expensive shit like seriously grow a damn heart. Bless you and your mom.
sabubu91: rideitslut: rural-mom: stonecoldstunning: men took my little pony away from us girls so us teen girls are takin pro wrestling fuck yall just try n stop us have fun fetishizing the shit out of *real life* celebrities. it actually makes
loliphon: My mom was in a car wreck. HOLY SHIT! I hope shes ok!!!
melvanainchains: jellyweasel: vinegardoppio: cmaeron: this is the dumbest thing ive ever read. its basically just a bunch of adults who sit in their mom’s basement eating cheetos whining about the SJWS ™ and shitting themselves bc Bro we are teens
geminiboy1996: 4gifs: Orphaned baby kangaroo climbs into cop’s ‘pouch’ after mistaking him for his mom. [video] !!warning!! May cause viewer excessive screams of joy. holy shit it looked like he just ate that kangaroo whole oimg
givemeunicorns: weepingwilo: mikekingvividkonception: volatilequeen: The distractions… Shit is crazy out here I swear I was just talking to my mom about how no one is talking about Flint anymore as if the water problem has ceased. Smdh Hey guys
remnant-imaginations: My mom put a cute ill holiday light in the toilet without telling me so guess who thought they walked into hell at 5 am this morning holy shit
planetary-mom-friend: primagiedi: ghettablasta: simple math! “Now HELP me!” Two pairs of Tim’s I’m shitting
nikkuhlee: darkskincoco: givemeunicorns: weepingwilo: mikekingvividkonception: volatilequeen: The distractions… Shit is crazy out here I swear I was just talking to my mom about how no one is talking about Flint anymore as if the water problem
bowserfucker: oknope: imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom
I was thinking about how all the grandkids on my mom’s side of the family don’t have our shit together and I was like Heh /we’re in this together/
Waiting for the snow to clear and the weather to warm so I can practice guard outside again! It’s been…6 years, shit. Gonna film myself with a camcorder, but that means I need to buy one ‘cause I can’t borrow from my mom this
blackhaiirstyles: majestic-peanut: Holy Trinity of moms who’s rapper baby daddy wasn’t shit but they continued to thrive pretty much.
momilitofuckyou: Shit, I’m late, where’s my phone?!Mom, keep checking there, it’s probably between the cushions
tinsnip: ladyyatexel: My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on Tuesday that I’d be down and out for about two weeks. My brother: TWO WEEKS? Holy shit. Surgeon: Well, consider this. She and I just had a knife fight. And I won. Because
kuronachan: tooiconic: positivity-roses: Making fun of girls who dream of being a wife and stay-at-home-mom actually doesn’t make you progressive or feminist or cool, it just makes you a person who shits on someone else’s dream, a.k.a an asshole
libertybill: hotcommunist: whyyoustabbedme: FREE THEM I say this without a shred of irony: pageant moms are abusive monsters. This shit is wrong.
thelimeadecat: sabubu91: rideitslut: rural-mom: stonecoldstunning: men took my little pony away from us girls so us teen girls are takin pro wrestling fuck yall just try n stop us have fun fetishizing the shit out of *real life* celebrities. it
trans-mom: trilllizard666: rosswoodpark: rosswoodpark: rosswoodpark: rosswoodpark: Metal is the best genre and this is why Did y’all think I was kidding? This band really didn’t give a shit lmfao love it I’m absolutely dying at this track
sl-walker:sl-walker:pigcatapult:blackbirds-on-the-marsh:mirthfulrealist: pharmdup: I almost scrolled past this but my mom was a janitor too. PSA. PSA Just because someone is paid to sweep the floors doesn’t mean you’re allowed to leave your shit all
perks-of-being-chinese: when i was a kid, i asked my dad where babies came from and he said something like “ur mom had a stomach ache and she went to the bathroom n then came out with you” and i feel like thats his way of calling me a piece of shit
throwbackblr: Me watching my mom talk shit about me over the phone
hickey-prince:That “give me hickeys where only I can see them uwu” shit is dumb dissapoint my mom or it didn’t happen
![geminiboy1996: 4gifs: Orphaned baby kangaroo climbs into cop’s ‘pouch’ after mistaking him for his mom. [video] !!warning!! May cause viewer excessive screams of joy. holy shit it looked like he just ate that kangaroo whole oimg](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6665f4c8202b214671d3003937caa700/tumblr_o3z8ltnCQQ1tlb56zo1_250.gif)
