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ytoob: i was outside eating a cookie and a saw about 5 ants just roaming around on top of the steps and i noticed there was only one ant that wasn’t holding anything like the other 4 where holding dorito bits or something and the ant seemed sad it
catskid100: From now on Im going to speak like an anime protagonist giving an inspirational speech, because….. *clenches fist* because there are people who believe in me! People who are constantly giving me strength! And even if they’re not with
mynamekyle: Kidz Bop Beyoncé lyrics: I sneezed on the beat and got a God blessing / Yoncé on his mouth like ranch dressing
boysbooksandbandsohmy: bluescreenofthedead: faceboored: CLEAR SKIN IS SO ATTRACTIVE I’D CHOP A TOE OFF FOR CLEAR SKIN FOREVER I swear to fucking god writing a post on this website is like talking to a fucking genie! Better be specific as shit
elemeno-pee: feury: they say the best things in life are free is food free is internet free guess not THERE’S FREE WIFI AT MCDONALD’S AND YOU COULD SCAVENGE FOR FRIES LIKE A PIGEON
beyoncebeytwice: honestly the beyonce concert changed me the people in front of me were smoking so much weed and blowing so much smoke in my face i think im high and it started raining during ghost/haunted i felt like i was being baptized im soaking
chokesngags: kingjaffejoffer: Why are so many people who don’t eat pork so militant about it? You can casually mention having a BLT or something and their voice gets all angry like, “I DON’T EAT NO FUCKING SWINE. FILTHY PIG BEAST” and you’re
colossal-sweat: walking out of a bathroom with no hand dryers like
haleycue: pandamiglio: My dog destroys things then acts like he doesn’t even see it Dying
celestia: once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a
flightcastiel: why are there some lipsticks like ฮ please calm down you glorified red crayon
miniaturewhiski: y’all getting really specific like “where are all the indie boys with messy shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes who are between 6’ and 6’4 whose favourite vampire weekend album is contra but knows mvotc is their best album
videogamebf: spacemoss: love this feeling you fuckin love shoving your feet in gross muddy grass? you like that? are you a frog? do you fuck frog too then? disgusting frog fucker
queefymanelaflare: jayda95: asap-rock-lee: white lady and a duck in a rap battle this a swan i was dere shorty was like “u a duck nigga a straight fuck nigga” had the whole terminal wylin
titytwochainz: kushmiri: tumblr poetry be like, gmail marked you as unimportant in my inbox why can’t i u forgot to talk about the taste of cigarettes but u on the right track
#i feel like tilda is everyone’s earth mother #someone approaches her and she’s all did you try that stress relieving oatmeal and eucalyptus body scrub i was talking about #you had to mix it in a clay pot remember #good that’s good i thought
pandamiglio: My dog destroys things then acts like he doesn’t even see it
gotitforcheap: I changed my mind I like azealia banks
foxzes: fakethistoyourgrave: What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin you feel do u mean excited
kototyph: #god it’s so weird #it’s a pair of pretty boys in a pretty car#but they kinda just radiate ”predator” don’t they? #like if I saw this driving past me I would be creeped out as FUCK
utterpandamonium: frankensteinfanclub: thackarybynx: euthanizeallwhitepeople: majiinboo: frankensteinfanclub: im losing my mind My white friend’s mom made this exact meal when I spent the night in 10th grade. It felt like chewing on dust oh
grimrapper: i love how there’s pictures and a sharpie next to it. like, is it gonna sign autographs?? science is amazing and the technological advances of this generation astound me every day.
joshpecksister: if someone asks what college is like you show them this
prettyboyshyflizzy: basedlordjesus: Why they do Drake like that lmaoooo dead and goneeeee
zoeysz: *IF HUMANS CROSSED THE STRRET LIKE ANIMALS*
bunsen: waiting for the pizza guy like
freshprinceofbeleriand: having sex is a lot like communism. each person gives and receives equally, you take turns reading from the communist manifesto, joseph stalin is there
gotitforcheap: beyonce looks like the parent that let the kid win lmao
itsjust-insanity: *moans when im stretching to let all the boys get a taste of what it is like to fuck me*
3425687980: h0odrich: heavy metal and reflective goes off but idk what she’s saying sometimes I just make up the words like ‘I be at the bridal shower on the guest list..catch me in the corner by my lonesome eating chex mix …tossing turnin 1am
bjjork: i love how fake titties look like two squishy bouncy balloons hanging off a board
lardypoison: why r fire extinguishers in glass cases that u have to smash?? its like u know what this fire needs?? more danger
sweet-bitsy: What if you went out on a date with a moth and he took you by the hand with one of his fuzzy little legs and he was like “I want to take you to the most beautiful place I know, because you deserve nothing less” and when you get there
queefymanelaflare: the oddest music i smoked to was when i smoked with the art club kids and they was playing that kpop i was like what is this japanese reggaeton?
frenchinhalechanelxoxo: leanansidthe: hoemama: wailtothethief: Fuck I’m walking downtown and I pass a group of guys staring at me and I think “great catcall time” but then one guy goes “you look like you could kill a man a million different
deucebasket: threw a boomerang like 6 years ago and it never came back so now I live in constant fear
city-glow-after-dark: mahlarchuck: atlasnerd: swaginageorge: seeing a hot guy walk by like Reblogging for the sheer hilarity of the gif. It would be a mistake not to “Four score and one booty ago damn that’s a fine ass”
teamalphari: tha-sass-queen: teamalphari: don’t believe any boy who says “i’m not like other guys” unless he has snow-white hair, glowin green eyes and can walk through walls, disappear and fly So, technically, Jack Frost with green eyes
richwhitelesbian: why the fuck would you pay extra for high fiber stuff just eat your damn clothes they’re made of like a million fibers you dumb ass idiot fucker
bellecosby: whoa-bruh: bellecosby: My goal in life is to make a nigga feel the way Terrance Howard was feeling when Beyonce was giving him a lap dance SAME. NEW GOAL I’M TRYNA HAVE A NIGGA QUESTIONING HIS WHOLE LIFE EXISTENCE LIKE NICKI HAD
flaccidtrip: k1mkardashian: *drinks castor oil so i can grow hair in my mouth & throat so when i suck dick it’ll feel like a velvet blanket* See how geminis act
beyonslayed: peruviandeepwave: beyonslayed:the middle school anthem was walk it out!!!!!!! This came out the year I graduated high school:/, I danced to it at prom lmao how is that possible? you graduated in like ‘43 :////
the-teapot-constellation: it’s so cute when a really fat bumblebee comes and bops against the window and immediately bumbles away like oh deary me I am terribly sorry that wasn’t where I should have been going oh what a silly sausage I am
shamilli0naire: petition to title all research papers like clickbait articles “You’ll NEVER Believe What These Rats Are Doing After Dark!” (behavioural analysis, neuroscience) “The Shocking Truth About the Water We Drink!” (fluid dynamics,
queefylongway: u gotta fw a girl with a android so when she screencap u she gon be too afraid to post it cause its gon look like a old western map n niggas is gonna be too busy roastin her picture quality to even look at da raceets (receipts)
imdemetrialynn: tiredestprincess:queenejanine:And we be so widdit like “Yaas he’s so right! She never could!”TAKE THIS DOWN IMMEDIATELY lmfaoooo
heauxactivities: kingomd: kumagawa: when the squad dont like your outfit looooool If yall hear about me dropping dead suddenly it’s because of these boys.
defjamvendetta: socalledinnocence: galactic-booty: defjamvendetta:Hopsin is like a version of Tyler the Creator that Law and Order would make up to avoid a lawsuit this is the best text post to ever grace this site This is the worst post I’ve
hellhoneypumpkindoom:medusas-heir:kdramapanda:My cat loves watching the water fill up in the bathtub and now he’s refused to leave.Yo arguing with cats is literally like this all the time.It really is and I love every minute of it
polowavecap: still haven’t listened to toro y moi mainly cus it sound like sum typa anime wit a dude n his talkin fish
pussypoptarts: I hate when there’s a big ass bug in the room and someone’s like “LEAVE IT ALONE!” … why are you defending the bug for??? I don’t know what kind of stroke game this bug got cause you must be fucking it??? is that it??
killlerkungfuwolfbitch: restarci: abooknerdweirdo: trilligan-island: ursulatheseabitchh: retail aint that the truth LMAOOO he looked like he was finna ring her neck how i feel working in a customer service job I work at hot dog place. We have
tetris-cat:My favorite internet phenomenon is when someone comments on a YouTube video with a really benign comment like “I love this song!” and then there are a bunch of hidden responses to that comment and then the last one isn’t hidden and it’s
zumainthyfuture: lacquerandcandy: akingsword: akingsword: I’ve been laughing at this for like 10 minutes straight Lets relive this please Oh God, the friggin lacefront cornrows… I’m dyin right now
dominicanhoe: WHY DID THEY DO THIS BABY LIKE THIS
nursary: elevenacres: Harvey Ball- creator of The Smiley Face he looks like hes seen the devil with his own two eyes! good for him
prisonsentience: just heard my roommate yell ‘you USED me!!!’ from the living room n im sitting here like ??? 2 seconds later my rat comes running into my room holding a french fry in his lil baby mouth
officialcrow: sonypraystation: robcanvas: sonypraystation: holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck this shit had to be a fuckin fire hazard
xenolithia: netflixandkoolaid: Beyonce going off on Blue Ivy and then staring at the camera like “the fuck you lookin at” will forever be funny GOLD
karkatium: going anywhere in public like
