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“My love for you glows brighter than Bluebell.”
“How about we both skip your birthday dinner so I can show you my ‘thing’?”
“I’m no Herr Trepoff; the only thing I’m guilty of is loving you.”
“When Greg handed me your uncut birthday video, I was hoping for something very different.”
“I’d smile and wink at you even if it didn’t humanize me.”
“Only lies have detail, so I won’t elaborate on how much I love you.”
“I don’t need an essay about all my friends hating me to know that you love me the most.”
“I would shave for you.”
“Want to be my crush’s look-alike?” Submitted by letsrevitup.
“You’re such a hot Guy, I would steal a motorcycle to get to you.”
“I would endure six months of bristly kisses to be with you.”
“I like you more than Howard Shilcott likes trains.”
“Care to be my goldfish?”
“The only looks I want to be clueing for are yours.”
“I don’t just have wood for you… I have pipe/tube/wotsit thingamebob for you.”
“I have an international reputation for loving you.” Submitted by cricketshuman.
“Your perfection has left me completely deaded.”
“I want to sleeeeep with you.”
“I would love you even if your initials were A.G.R.A.”
“Forget my brother’s bolt-holes… How about finding your way into one of my holes instead?”
“I’ll let you kiss me if you crash through a window and ruffle your hair first.”
“I promise not to shout Graham, Gavin, or Geoff during sex.”
“Loving you could never be human error.”
“I’ll tell you what the H stands for.”
“Can our sign be the sign of threesome?”
“Hey, I faked my death too… When do I get to crash through a window and make out with you?”
“Wanna see my ‘meat dagger’?”
“I heard you lost your job fantasizing about me coming back to life… Don’t worry, I’ve got a different kind of ‘job’ you can do.”
“My detective skills aren’t the only gifts I was born with.”
“I’d get stabbed in the shower just so you’d examine my body.”
“You make a really hot Guy, and I’m not just talking about the Fawkes effigy.”
“Forget the H– let’s talk about the D.”
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“I’d like to discover your ‘pressure points,’ if you get what I mean.”
“My jumpers aren’t the only thing about me with depth and complexity.”
“You’re my popular choice at the moment, dear.”
“I want you to fill my ‘Empty Hearse.’” Submitted by jadziabear.
“Can I buy you a drink? 443.7 milliliters of drink, that is.”
“You don’t need to hide a blade in my belt in order to penetrate me.”
“The ‘elephant in the room’ is my penis.”
“Without you, my heart feels hollower than Jack Griffin’s suit.”
“Sherlock and Moriarty aren’t the only ones I have a theory about.”
“I don’t care how you fell in love with me… I want to know why.”
“You don’t need your mind palace to know my porn preference.”
“I’m a high-functioning sociopath… Can I be a high-functioning sociopath with your number?”
“My left hat bobble isn’t the only thing I’d like to chew on.”
“Forget the egg chair… You should sitty thing on my face.”
Happy Valentine’s Day! I decided to give this one to Mystrade in honor of them finally sharing a scene together (and because it was the most requested ship from you guys).
The best of series three (so far!) from BBC Sherlock Pick-Up Lines. Happy Valentine’s Day, Tumblr! May you all get lots and lots of kisses, chocolate or otherwise <3
“Call me Shezza, because I’m going undercover… Under your covers, that is.”
“I would sprain a junkie’s arm for you.”
“I’d let you make me wear the hat.”
“Call me Redbeard, because I like it ruff.”
“I want to do you on the table… On the Periodic Table hanging in your bedroom, that is.”
“I was so scared of you leaving me that I started doing napkin origami.”
“If I was Madonna, would you let me touch your knee?”
“I would come back from the dead and hijack a bunch of TVs just because you missed me.”
“I’d like to get to know you as well as I know ash.”
“My love for you exceeds the amount of laptops Sherlock has.”
“I’d like to compromise the integrity of your ‘crime scene.’”
