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“You are such a brilliant conductor of light, not even Bluebell can glow as bright as you.”
“What are you doing? Get back into the cage I made for you!” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“You’re so hot, you’re gonna burn the heart out of me.”
“You light up my life like a fairy.” *Make sure you use the proper, high-pitched tone of voice when saying “Like a fairy!”
“You’re going to need a shock blanket when I’m finished with you.” Submitted (with photo) by i-am-s-h-e-r-l-o-c-k-e-d.
“My hip isn’t the only thing about me that’s bad. Let me show you how naughty I can be.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Leave the wall alone. If you’re bored, I’ll gladly take a pounding from you.”
“If you take off that bedsheet, I’ll show you my battle dress.” Submitted by bumpershoot.
“I always hear ‘kiss me on the mouth’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.
“If you’d let me, I’d twiddle you all day and night.”
“If you think my cheekbones are prominent, just wait until you see the bone in my pants.”
“I love you so much, I promise to avoid your nose and teeth whenever I punch your face.”
“I’ve been reliably informed that I don’t have a heart because you stole it.”
“Even if there weren’t snipers aiming at you, I’d still fall for you.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I would let you take me hostage even if you didn’t have a gun pointed at my head.”
“I’d like to get a double room in Dartmoor with you.”
“I would put the finger on you just to get you off.” Submitted by anonymous.
“So, you’ve got a boyfriend then? I’ll have you either way. It’s all fine.”
“When I said I was hoping you’d go deeper, I wasn’t talking about your analysis.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Let me be your umbrella. You can open me over your ‘head’ any time you want.” Submitted by thedithatcould.
“Would you like me to alarm you?” Submitted by anonymous.
“I’ll be the knife and you be the Cluedo board: Let me pin you against the wall.”
“Are you for men? Because I’d like to wear you… on my penis.”
“I don’t consult you just because I’m desperate.”
“I know you don’t want anything, but I bet I can change your mind.”
“Oh, so the Internet thinks you look like an otter? Well, I think you otter be in my bed.”
“How about you get off of that phone and let me show you how much fun we can have in the back seat of this car?”
“You do count… Even if I didn’t need a suicide assistant.”
“I would have you right here even if you didn’t beg for mercy.” Submitted by anonymous.
“Next time you pickpocket my D.I. badge, why don’t you reach a little farther?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Excuse me, but did you say ‘Fuck the police’? You must be my division.”
“Honey, you should see me in a crown… and nothing else.”
“I’d wait for you even if you faked your death and didn’t return for three years.”
“I’d wait for you even if you kept me as long as Mofftiss kept the Sherlockians.”
“Let’s meet at the rooftop instead of the pool. You’ve got to admit that’s sexier.”
“Forget outliving four people– let me show you the most fun you can have with or without an aneurysm.”
“You are far more than a seven, therefore I would leave the flat for you.”
“Are you holding my heart at gunpoint? Because I think I’m falling for you.” Submitted by anonymous.
“I would go on three dates with you even if you turned out to be a gay, consulting criminal.”
“I don’t care if you boast a lot– I’ll still tell you bedtime stories.”
“I’m crazy for you, and not in a Project H.O.U.N.D. kind of way.” One of my real-life friends suggested a “crazy for you” line with Henry a long time ago, but I can’t remember which one, sooooo… This is me not
“You know, I’ve got a phone. I mean, very clever and all that, but you could just booty call me. On my phone.”
“You know what they say about big feet? Well, just call me Carl Powers.”
“Are you my blogger? Because I’d be lost without you.”
“I may not be The Golem, but I bet I can squeeze the life out of you, if you get what I mean.”
“Face the other way. You’re getting me off.”
“Don’t you want me on the floor too? And on the bed, and on the couch, and on the table, and against the wall…” Submitted by anonymous.
“Dear Jim, I’m in love with you. Won’t you fix it for me?” Submitted by anonymous.
“Since you blew your nose on the lady from the train’s number, would you like mine instead?” Submitted by anonymous.
“Even if I knew nothing about you, I would flat share with you.” Submitted by anonymous.
“You can ride me if you want. I even come with a riding crop!”
“I just met you, and this is crazy, but I know everything about you, so come live with me maybe?” Submitted by anonymous.
I just uploaded four more t-shirt designs, all featuring John pick-up lines. Click here to see all of the t-shirts, and don’t forget that you can also get umbrellas here. I’ll keep updating you guys as I add more!
“My umbrella will keep you dry, but I’ll keep you wet.”
“Cerise isn’t the only thing that will drain you. You should see my purple shirt.” Submitted by Emily (no username).
“I like your purple shirt. How’d you like to see my red pants?” (Thank you so much to andrisbiedrins for sending the screencap. I couldn’t find any images of Martin Freeman wearing red bottoms except as Arthur Dent, and apparently
“I’d let you hold my hand even if you kidnapped me and asked me to spy on my flatmate.”
“Do you like Mexican food? Because I’ll gladly offer you a taste of my fiesta dick.”
“I’d let you investigate more than just my crime scenes, if you deduce my meaning.”
“You steeple your fingers a lot. I could give you something better to do with them.”
