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“Hi honey. I think I’m going to love this new job, I’m glad you suggested I go back to work when the kids started school. Whoops, gotta go. My boss is coming in and it looks like he wants me for something…” But sir, I’m married.
retarded-princess: I guess someone else is going to have to pick up the kids at school. And probably like, raise them and stuff. But that’s cool, I mean you made an impulsive choice, but it happens. Not *all* your decisions are going to go the way
kitsloan: “What the he’ll? Oh are you kidding me! Did you wet your pants again? What did I tell you about this? I don’t care where you’re going or who you’re gonna be with, you need to wear diapers or this is what happens. Ugh. Clean up this
palegingur: superultraextremeawesomemazing: The cop is just like: Aww yes, this kid is going dow- god damn it. Are you kidding me? i am laughing harder than i should be omfg
foxintwilight: 2 hour speed painting. Drawn while listening to Downward Spiral, of course. Remember, kids, NIN makes you draw good shit. I take you where you want to go I give you all you need to know I drag you down I use you up Mr. Self-destruct
texguy84: Your wife has been wanting kids. You’re not ready for that yet. The key to a healthy marriage is compromise, so she’s going to have your neighbor’s kids instead.
livinlifeslow420: thelostscriptsofkod: 0bs0lete: pray4salvation: superultraextremeawesomemazing: The cop is just like: Aww yes, this kid is going dow- god damn it. Are you kidding me? I M LAUGH ING SOH ARD “Awe fuck, promoti-….oh..”
clickthelock: Let’s not kid ourselves. We both know deep down that we’re heading down this road darling. I’m not going to unlock you, and I’m going to start sleeping with other men. I’m sure it will take you a little while to get used
jonfawkes: pixel-perry: throatsart: HEY KIDS! Throat here to catch you up on the ongoing Nintendo of America reporting the lewd artwork community on Tumblr. This is a long-winded post, but I’m going to go over what’s happening and how you should
thesecretboy: apervertedthought: I’m going to let you in on a little secret, son. I know what you’re up to every time you lock your bedroom door. You are one horny fucking kid. And you know what? I love it. You have no idea how wet I get whenever
bellyroll8:Son Dad Body SwapTyler was you’re average spoilt rich kid who got whatever he wanted and got away with anything. Tyler didn’t really have any friends considering he was a snobby rich kid who didn’t go into school or involved get in anything
incorrect48quotes: Acchan: Sorry you couldn’t come to the wedding, it was no kids. Rei: It’s okay, I’ll go to your next one. Acchan: Wow. Takamina: She just means when she’s not a kid anymore. Rei: She knows what I mean. Acchan:
sassyaspersassy: hellolaurenlopez: alwaysactually: lusilly: some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!” wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut” “oh you know…the people who go to the moon” #wizard kids like #hahhahaha
imaginesinfully: Imagine you and your FC have a kid and always have a potty in your car in case the kid has to go and there are o other options. Now, your two are taking a really really long car trip and your FC really has to use the restroom but theres
haydengise: Shout out to all the Trans kids going back to school to face being misgendered, going to the wrong bathroom, and overall not feeling comfortable with who they are. We love you, you’ll make it through
skumpitt: go-go-powdergangers: you have to be fucking kidding me Just a reminder that Bethesda actually thought this was an acceptable way to end a story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLJ1gyIzg78 Watch this if you wanna be even more outraged
pondwitch: skumpitt: go-go-powdergangers: you have to be fucking kidding me Just a reminder that Bethesda actually thought this was an acceptable way to end a story. me: hey fawkes can you walk five feet into this room and type 3 numbers on a keyboard
just-shower-thoughts:When you’re a kid you wish you could stay up late but you can’t. When you’re an adult you wish you could go to bed early but you can’t.
captioned-vines: victorpopejr: The episode that the black kids had to sit out Kid: “Please, dad! Just sign the permission slip!”Dad: “Ms. Frizzle trying to use her magic school bus to take y’all to the 1700s? You don’t want to go.”
destielpasta: herhmione: no offense but fuck adults who are like ‘you kids never just go outside and play anymore’ where the hell in my schedule of going to school for 7 hours, coming home and doing 3ish hours of homework, going to extracurriculars,
conorayne: josiephone: alwaysactually: lusilly: some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!” wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut” “oh you know…the people who go to the moon” #wizard kids like #hahhahaha
evilkneazle:theoneronnie: YOU’RE GONNA MAKE IT, KID. for those kids who feel like they’re never going to get anywhere in life and for the adults who still feel stuck after getting dealt a bit of a shit hand
fuckmetx: “Huh. My wife’s flight is canceled until tomorrow because of fog. So, I don’t have to go out to the airport until then. How late can you stay out, kid?” I texted my parents that I was going to spend the night at my best friend’s. “You’ve
goingguido: “what college do you wanna go to???” “what do you wanna be when you grow up???” “how many kids are you gonna have??” “do you have a boyfriend yet??” “did you make any friends yet???” “what are your grades like now????”
Dylan and I went to a pizza place after the movie and saw a kid that was going to go to the next showing. He excitedly asked us if “Iron Man was a goner?” Dylan told him, “You’re going to have to see for yourself.” The
I call this look “you’re going to hire me and then you’re going to accidentally unleash a trans menace to your kids. how does that feel?”
little-miss-joy: Okay kids, so I am going to go on a date in China Town tonight, if you see me, you should absolutely feel free to buy me a drink.
There's going to come a day when we've all grown up, had a career, maybe got married and had kids, when were all going about our daily routine. Maybe you're driving to work with the car radio on, or you're making dinner with the tv on in the lounge. Life
hillbillyprofessor: Why are you here darlin? Why did you leave your husband and kids at home and come here? Don’t give me that look - you know why you are here and I know why you are here, but you don’t get what you need until you say it… go
diegueno: The special agent in charge, he says “You know, if we go out there and start messing with those folks, they know judges, they know lawyers, they know politicians. You start locking their kids up, somebody’s going to jerk our chain.”
humansofnewyork: “She’s a pit bull. When she wants you to do something, she’s not going to let go until you do it: ‘Comb your hair. Shine your shoes. Change your pants. Wash your hair. Sit up straight.’ Been that way since we were kids. But
dadsoncircfun: As the youngest guy on the workforce, you can expect extra duties to ensure you get along with your older work mates. This kid’s going to go far with a deep throat like that!
tfobsessed: Smithy: “It would just be really good if you could go with someone else from the film. Otherwise, you’re just a ginger kid walking around with sunburn.”Tom: “I’ll go with him.”Smithy: “Alright, it’s not ideal but sure. Anyone
thefiresontheheight:Something’s wrong.It’s a nice day. Weather’s high sixties. A little cool in the shade, warm in the sun. Perfect. You’re going to go for a run later. Maybe skate. Hang out with friends. It’s a nice day.When you were a kid,
jemthecrystalgem: destielpasta: herhmione: no offense but fuck adults who are like ‘you kids never just go outside and play anymore’ where the hell in my schedule of going to school for 7 hours, coming home and doing 3ish hours of homework, going
positively-fabulous: heavens-most-adorable-samandriel: le-go-go-las: carryon-my-wayward-vagabond: ramblingsofadeadite: Quick reminder that these are all real movies. Are you kidding It gets funnier with every title You forgot Ghost Shark (SyFy’s
refixable: i hope you all find someone that makes you feel the way kids feel on halloween and someone that will kiss you when you’re mad and love you at your worst and make you feel butterflies that never end and never ever ever letss go of you. i
diegueno:The special agent in charge, he says “You know, if we go out there and start messing with those folks, they know judges, they know lawyers, they know politicians. You start locking their kids up, somebody’s going to jerk our chain.” He
I’m going to make Jianny my wife some day. You guys think I’m kidding. That girl is going to be the one I share last names with. That girl is going to be wearing the most beautiful engagement ring from me some day. I love my little dimple
scarypotters: it’s monday morning and your parents force you out of bed and outside to go to school. here’s a playlist to ease your pain. LISTEN Adam’s Song Blink 182 Centuries Fall Out Boy You’re Gonna Go Far Kid The Offspring Umbrella All Time
untitling: liquidmeth: davejadeislaw: frick-you-slendy: forsakenspawn: khidding: barackobamaniqua: I think I’m gonna throw up. are you kidding i love this I FEEL LIKE WE’RE GOING TO CRASH OMG STOP IT It feels like it’s going faster
normallyiminsane: davejadeislaw: frick-you-slendy: forsakenspawn: khidding: barackobamaniqua: I think I’m gonna throw up. are you kidding i love this I FEEL LIKE WE’RE GOING TO CRASH OMG STOP IT It feels like it’s going faster the longer
2 hour speed painting. Drawn while listening to Downward Spiral, of course. Remember, kids, NIN makes you draw good shit. I take you where you want to go I give you all you need to know I drag you down I use you up Mr. Self-destruct
eenslaved: “Thanks, Jason. My nephew is going to love this.”“Not at all. It’s not every day a boy turns eighteen. Ought to be special. My wife’s happy to let the kid fuck her. Aren’t you, honey? You’re going to smile real big and let Greg’s
