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theadventuresofaandk: You think I was kidding when I told you that you were going to have to piss your swimsuit on a crowded beach if you wanted to earn an orgasm? Nope, wasn’t kidding. First you get stuck in that tiny swimsuit. Then you have to pee
tuongvyen: Our future.Nothing can explain how much I love it when I hear you talk about out future together. Hearing you plan it out. How many kids we’re going to have. What cars we’ll drive. Where we’re going to live. What sport our kids are going
jasminejshusband: Your hotwife took up babysitting the new neighbors kids several times a week. After the kids go to bed, their dad comes home and your hotwife stays over a little longer to recieve her tip everytime before going home to you.
It’s up to you. You can go back to your bedroom and jerk off to thoughts of your kid sister, or you can promise not to cum and have me however you want. But every time you want me, I’m going to look at your balls. If they’re not fuller and bluer
bestofpokemongo: His first experience with pokemon go was to hand out team badges That kid should be careful a lot of big huge perverts play Pokemon Go, one of them may show up and “Poke”mon Go that kid in the butt.Thank you for the absolute proof
Really? Just really? You are going to assume that this kid is autistic because he makes a few “strange” movements? What did this ten year-old do to you? Nothing! Rosie get your head out of your ass and attack Trump instead of picking on a kid. You
cosmic-carousel: minteafresha: I noticed the audio for the video “[AMV] Jon Arbuckle - You’re Gonna Go Far Kid” was taken out so I edited it back in friendly reminder that [AMV] Jon Arbuckle - You’re Gonna Go Far Kid
drinking-tea-at-midnight: peppermintsdicks: when the weird hair kid walks in but you’re hoping against all odds you’ll be the main character just go to America kid and you’ll be fine.
letters-to-lgbt-kids: My dear lgbt+ kids, Just a quick check-in: Did you take your medication? Are you hungry? (And shh, “i’m trying to lose weight” is not an answer!) Do you need a nap or to go to bed early tonight? And drink some liquid,
parentless-suggestions: Your kid shouldn’t be relieved to know you’re not home. Your kid shouldn’t have to double lock all of their stuff up because they’re scared you might go through it. Your kid shouldn’t have to think “Here comes the screaming”
gaesthetik: de-x-cal: hotgothgf: Don’t have kids if you’re traumatized and it’s going to get in the way of raising a kid safely and healthily and not in a way that’s also gonna traumatize them in a different way. And don’t have kids if you
My wife agreed to take the kids to go trick or treating. Between the two of them, my wife and my sister then convinced my brother-in-law to go with them.As my wife walked out the door behind the kids she turned to my sister and I and said, “you owe
danguy96: Seriously, probably one of the biggest things I hate about the whole Social Justice Warrior zealotry craze going on right now is the treatment of children and small kids, and how you apparently shouldn’t let your kids be kids anymore. You
yourplayersaidwhat: DM: ok, so you just helps your friend burn down a house. You see two kids in there. what do you do? Me: I go up to the kids and play innocent Dm: What do you say? Me: (in character) who did this? Dm: they point at you and say
knitmeapony: knitmeapony: Kids. Teenagers. As someone staring 40 in the face lemme tell you a thing. You are going to be horrified and embarrassed at some point by the shit you are doing now. And you are going to wish with all your might you’d
alwaysactually: lusilly: some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!” wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut” “oh you know…the people who go to the moon” #wizard kids like #hahhahaha #you cant GO to the moon
touchedbyanangela: sorry kids you’re either going to have to get a job or go to unioh but uni’s probably going to cost you more so you’ll need to do bothalso we don’t have enough jobs for you
alltheangst: jackbassam: When I have the sex talk with my kids I’m just going to tell them to follow the basic rule “If your age is on the clock, you’re too young for the cock” yeah, and when my kid turns thirteen imma go, “Sit back down,
mewsicalmiss: parentless-suggestions: Your kid shouldn’t be relieved to know you’re not home. Your kid shouldn’t have to double lock all of their stuff up because they’re scared you might go through it. Your kid shouldn’t have to think “Here
jaclcfrost: never let anyone tell you anything is only “just for kids” like fuck that shit man if you want to play on that playground you do that if you want to dress up and go trick-or-treating you do that if you want to go to the movies and see
dynastylnoire: mysstique2cus: the-goddamazon: go awf How many times does the world have to say that you do NOT go for the kids!? Adults going for children has got to be the biggest punk move ever. You deserve whatever you get for talking about these
parentless-suggestions:Your kid shouldn’t be relieved to know you’re not home. Your kid shouldn’t have to double lock all of their stuff up because they’re scared you might go through it. Your kid shouldn’t have to think “Here comes the screaming”
unclefather: i love that kids don’t understand the concept of money. i heard a kid at walmart today grab a bag of beef jerky and say “i’m just going to have this” and when his mom said “you can’t just take that” he said “who is going
egodownsoulup: touchedbyanangela: sorry kids you’re either going to have to get a job or go to unioh but uni’s probably going to cost you more so you’ll need to do bothalso we don’t have enough jobs for you “Why are you so damn lazy?
minerfromtarn: chiribomb: ithelpstodream: thebittercoffee: ithelpstodream: kid: mom, is that a boy or a girl? mom: go ahead and ask kid: *turns to me* are you a boy or a girl? me: no kid: Don’t tag this bullshit as LGBT, this is not LGBT. You are
derelictcity: touchedbyanangela: sorry kids you’re either going to have to get a job or go to unioh but uni’s probably going to cost you more so you’ll need to do bothalso we don’t have enough jobs for you YES
mythicalcoolkid: Asexuality is weird because you’ll be 12 going “wow why are people my age concerned about sex we’re just kids” and then you’re 16 going “wow why are people my age concerned about sex we’re just kids” and then you’re