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pemsylvania: pemsylvania: who here knows how to dismantle a security camera everybody on here always acts like some criminal mastermind when in reality 40 of you guys told me to smash it with a rock and at least 3 told me to seduce it
gay-mo: The child I babysit sometimes is 5 years old. Last time I went to take care of him I noticed he has this awesome painting of the moon in his bedroom. He told me his mothers friend painted it. After he told me the artists name he then explained
magnolia-wood: He told me: If you want to cut yourself, then you’re going to take my arm, look me in the eyes, and cut as many times as you would yourself. I told him: I couldn’t hurt you like that. and then I understood. Everything.
king-amphy: llbwwb: PSA:My Mother never told me this! Reblog to save a baby Bird:) JUST A LITTLE HISTORY FACT MY GRANDFATHER TOLD ME:The reason this myth was a thing, was because back in the 30’s-50’s or so ( I can’t remember the time)There was
pointtoesforwhat: pemsylvania: pemsylvania: who here knows how to dismantle a security camera everybody on here always acts like some criminal mastermind when in reality 40 of you guys told me to smash it with a rock and at least 3 told me to seduce
cargsdoodles: cargsdoodles:so these are two of my paintings I’ve done this semester and my professor has told me literally every day since I’ve painted them that I should paint over them and they just don’t work. today he told me I would never
incestuous-creampie: At first, I was nervous. My sisters had been fucking for a year and they told me they wanted to make me feel good too. I told them incest was wrong and left it at that.The next morning I awoke to someone licking my pussy. I looked
omgsissyjenny: When Pam found my crossdressing wardrobe, she called me a gay sissy faggot. I told her 90% of crossdressers are heterosexual and I’ve never had a gay thought in my life. She laughed and told me she knew how to tell if I was gay. When
thewinchesterswagger: ih0peyourwifidies: omg my mom just came into my room and told me that I’m spending too much time on the internet so she told me “I’m sorry I have to do this but its for your own good…” and then she proceeded to delete
hunterology: So my friend went to go see The Day Of The Doctor in theaters and while she was there she told me the screen was having technical difficulties. When this occurred she told me a large portion of the Whovians in the crowd proceeded to pull
officialunitedstates: been carrying around this sack of bees ever since my grandmother told me beauty is in the eye of the bee holder. to be honest sometimes I wish she had never told me this information
kontroverzno: “He leaves me. And not like he did back in the day when he told me that I was vile and cruel, and not like he did when we told each other it was over earlier this year, making out in a hotel corridor, clutching onto each other too hard,
cheatinggirl: Then he insisted on filming me while I sucked his cock while everyone was downstairs. I told him I came with my boyfriend. He told me to open wide.
mygfdoesntcheat:because-im-a-slut:27 janI had told him that if I let him go bare he’s have to pull out and he agreed. I thought for a moment he had cum in me cause I felt him pulsing, but he told me he hadn’t. Since he was still rock hard
jakeenglish: jakeenglish: My mom mixed two half empty dish soaps and it made a gradient of cleanliness i told my mom about how her soapy creation got me 400 notes on the internet and she told me to get a job
samuraipapi: legitimism: Do you ever wonder how many people have loved you and never told you? Nah but I wonder how many people have told me they love me and never meant it
philslendy: datdestinyd: My mother is a die-hard conservative Republican. When I told her I had registered to vote, she rolled her eyes at me. When I asked why, she told me that “the worst thing for America is young, stupid liberals voting.” Liberals
bepeu: thrillerpark: my senior year of high school i worked in the referral office and a girl came in one day and was like ‘uhh i got a referral’ so i had to ask her what for and she told me it was for her necklace and i told her if she’d let me
officialcadbane: ohsebs:ohsebs: ohsebs: my nurse just came in to check my vitals and I told him to fight me from beneath a mountain pillows. He just moved my pillows and told me maybe later. he just came in again and when I tried to tell him to fight
gaymilesedgeworth: one of the people i worked with was a former elephant trainer who told me anecdotes about learning to use a Very Loud Voice with elephants. i was very nervous when i started here and she told me “you just have to find your elephant
gothvegas: gothvegas: Jack in the box just gave me a cold burger and when I told them it was cold they told me it wasn’t Update from the worst jack in the box on earth
patchesthegreat: girlfriend told me to make a meme about eating pussy so here it is she also told me it could get a million notes but I have my doubts
raionmimi:raionmimi:I designed a shirt that says “SLUT” in New Horizon and put it in my friend’s shop. The next day, he told me that he found one of his villagers wearing it, and when he told me which one, I fucking lost my mind over itMy friend
valilihapiirakka: i have heard a lot of funny drug stories in my time but to this day the funniest is still the one my mum told me as a caution against “doing marijuana”. she told me with great seriousness that she had done it only once, in the mid-late
maddysunjade: rexuality: I hate being told to do something I was already planning on doing like I was all about doing this task, and then you told me to do it and now i am annoyed and this task is now 300x less likely to be completed This is me.
radical-as-fuhk: shoutout to all my mentally ill people with memory issues who are shouted at and told they’re lazy and disrespectful for not doing things when/how they’re told to because they forgot because apparently that just isnt an appropriate
angryandgey: thissej: He told me: If you want to cut yourself, then you’re going to take my arm, look me in the eyes, and cut as many times as you would yourself. I told him: I couldn’t hurt you like that. and then I understood. everything.
thatnigga864: Homie called & woke me up out my sleep. He told me “Im on the way over there, I need some dick”. Told him the door was unlocked. I went back to sleep until he came & when he did … Lawdddd 🍆💦🍑. Sneak peak from a 2hr
cheatinggirl: Then he insisted on filming me while I sucked his cock while everyone was downstairs. I told him I came with my boyfriend. He told me to open wide. Good girl. Suck the boys like a whore
ffron81: My Grandmother has always told me, “If it’s not tanned Eat It!” I have always done what Grams has told me so enjoyed her delicious body
tangodeltawilli: Oh silly boy. I’m your girlfriend’s roommate.Of course she has told me all about how she locked your little piece of thing in a metal cage and has been teasing you with no mercy for the past month.She told me she was afraid you needed
omgfamilyaffair: daddy was right…he told me i would get used to his big dick in my ass…he told me it would feel beetter than anything i’ve ever done before…daddy is never wrong!
wretchedoftheearth: once one of my best friends told me that i was wearing too much makeup (i was wearing lip gloss and mascara) and told me that i should have a look that’s more like my other friend (who wears a full face of makeup every day) as
semitics: natcritiquescartoons: semitics: semitics: My mom once told me she knew she wanted to marry my dad because he was good with kids. She told me the way men treat children is usually a reflection of their character and I think that’s true
felkinamk2: So I’m planning to retell some of the dark secrets you guys have told me! Of course I won’t reveal who told me them but we’re gonna have some fun and I want to see if the people who came forth can tell what secret I’m talking about!
inferiorfaggotscum: bullythefag: Hey roomie…faggot. Yeah I just fucked your little boyfriend. He told me a bunch of shit, as we sat here and got stoned. He told me how you are a lame top and came barely get it up to fuck him. How you forced him to
wretchedoftheearth: once one of my best friends told me that i was wearing too much makeup (i was wearing lip gloss and mascara) and told me that i should have a look that’s more like my other friend (who wears a full face of makeup every day) as she
stlhollywood: My little sister came home from school and told me she was horny and some dudes on her school bus was playing with her pussy she told me that she wanted to get a train ran on her so I called my homeboys over and they all took turns fuckin
incestuous-creampie: When I had questions about sex, I knew I could trust my uncle. I just didn’t expect I’d be so turned on when he told me about creampies. I told him I had to have one. He was happy to give me as many as I wanted. I gave him a
bronxman214: freakyboysonly: My lil brother told me he was gay and a Virgin when he graduated high school. Told him ima be the first to hit, he laughed and let me 😍 🔥🔥🔥
wrongonesin: They told me freedom was four sittings, and four orgasms away. They told me they’d be watching everything.–Thank you to 17,000 followers!
kelsey-ships-it: thatlittleweird: Grace asked me who I was waiting at the stage door for and when I told her Chester she told me to tell him take all his eyeliner off HOW AM I ALIVE THIS IS GREAT
satansyoungerbrother: kissmeimadragonlord: one-time-i-dreamt: I met Ryan Reynolds and told him we was my idol. He kissed me on the forehead, whispered, “You look like a fucking badger,” and walked away. If someone told me this was an actually
kamapon: Last night, when I went to bed, my hubby, half asleep told me that he had won a kitten in a vending machine “It’s inside a can” he told me, ” the kitten comes inside a can”…and this came to mindXDD
omg my mom just came into my room and told me that I’m spending too much time on the internet so she told me “I’m sorry I have to do this but its for your own good…” and then she proceeded to delete the internet explorer icon from my desktop
shesnotcheating: Out Of Town - Week 2 The second week I was away, Lisa seemed antsy. She told me she missed me constantly, and I told her I felt the same. Sunday morning came and with it another surprising text message, which included the photo above:
