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“I love you more than Mycroft loves cake.” Submitted by moikaywayspetunicorn.

“I love you more than Mycroft loves cake.” Submitted by moikaywayspetunicorn.

“Whenever I’m with you, I’m hornier than Anderson in a triceratops costume.”

“Whenever I’m with you, I’m hornier than Anderson in a triceratops costume.”

“I.O.U. a threesome.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I.O.U. a threesome.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I’m married to my work, but I’d divorce it for you.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“I’m married to my work, but I’d divorce it for you.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“I want to put my ‘experiment’ in your 'microwave.’” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“I want to put my ‘experiment’ in your 'microwave.’” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“I’m married to my work, so we’ll have to be discreet.” Requested by one of my real-life friends, who doesn’t have a Tumblr.

“I’m married to my work, so we’ll have to be discreet.” Requested by one of my real-life friends, who doesn’t have a Tumblr.

“I wouldn’t put on pants for you.” Submitted by britishrandominsanity.

“I wouldn’t put on pants for you.” Submitted by britishrandominsanity.

“I’ve been reliably informed that I don’t have a heart because you stole it.”

“I’ve been reliably informed that I don’t have a heart because you stole it.”

“When I said I was hoping you’d go deeper, I wasn’t talking about your analysis.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“When I said I was hoping you’d go deeper, I wasn’t talking about your analysis.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“When I say ‘Vatican Cameos!’ I want you to go down… on me.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“When I say ‘Vatican Cameos!’ I want you to go down… on me.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I would rather have you than the skull.” Submitted by anonymous.

“I would rather have you than the skull.” Submitted by anonymous.

“I like the turn-ups on your jeans. Wanna be my boy’s father?”

“I like the turn-ups on your jeans. Wanna be my boy’s father?”

“Why do I need to know about the solar system? It’s wrong anyway; my world revolves around you.” Submitted by turtleplz.

“Why do I need to know about the solar system? It’s wrong anyway; my world revolves around you.” Submitted by turtleplz.

“Mrs. Turner has married ones. How about you and I be Mrs. Hudson’s married ones?”

“Mrs. Turner has married ones. How about you and I be Mrs. Hudson’s married ones?”

“I just met you, and this is crazy, but I know everything about you, so come live with me maybe?” Submitted by anonymous.

“I just met you, and this is crazy, but I know everything about you, so come live with me maybe?” Submitted by anonymous.

“I noticed that you put product in your hair… So do I, if you get what I mean.”

“I noticed that you put product in your hair… So do I, if you get what I mean.”

“You’ve never been the most luminous of people, but you brighten up my world.” Submitted by anonymous.

“You’ve never been the most luminous of people, but you brighten up my world.” Submitted by anonymous.

“Forget tobacco ash. I’d rather blog two hundred and forty-three reasons why I love you.”

“Forget tobacco ash. I’d rather blog two hundred and forty-three reasons why I love you.”

“I don’t smoke, don’t frequent cafes, don’t fuck men… You know, I make many exceptions when I’m around you.” Submitted by Viljatuuli (no username).

“I don’t smoke, don’t frequent cafes, don’t fuck men… You know, I make many exceptions when I’m around you.” Submitted by Viljatuuli (no username).

“I would spend all of my free time with you in the back of Mycroft’s limousine.” Submitted (with photo) by suddenlyshort.

“I would spend all of my free time with you in the back of Mycroft’s limousine.” Submitted (with photo) by suddenlyshort.

“I have an international reputation for loving you.” Submitted by cricketshuman.

“I have an international reputation for loving you.” Submitted by cricketshuman.

“I’d like to get to know you as well as I know ash.”

“I’d like to get to know you as well as I know ash.”

“If you married someone else, I would leave your wedding early.”

“If you married someone else, I would leave your wedding early.”

Hey, followers! I hope you’re all having a wonderful Easter because I am having the worst Easter of my life and it is a goddamn miracle I was even able to put this comic together.

Hey, followers! I hope you’re all having a wonderful Easter because I am having the worst Easter of my life and it is a goddamn miracle I was even able to put this comic together.

“Forget faking my genius… Want to see a different sort of magic trick?” Based on a suggestion by anonymous.

“Forget faking my genius… Want to see a different sort of magic trick?” Based on a suggestion by anonymous.

“People are basically fond, but not as much as I am.”

“People are basically fond, but not as much as I am.”

“I would murder a blackmailing newspaper proprietor for you.” Based on a suggestion by madspades.

“I would murder a blackmailing newspaper proprietor for you.” Based on a suggestion by madspades.

“I would kick my parents out if you came over.”

“I would kick my parents out if you came over.”

xxx tumblr

xxx tumblr

Bruh… Bruh, wait… I just remembered… We ain’t even American, bruh.

Bruh… Bruh, wait… I just remembered… We ain’t even American, bruh.

“I think you’re cooler than the head in our fridge.”

“I think you’re cooler than the head in our fridge.”

“I cannot eliminate being with you, therefore it must not be impossible.”

“I cannot eliminate being with you, therefore it must not be impossible.”

Merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate), Tumblr! Here is the source for the “missile toe” image.

Merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate), Tumblr! Here is the source for the “missile toe” image.

The best of “Shezza,” from bbcsherlockpickuplines.

The best of “Shezza,” from bbcsherlockpickuplines.

Happy new year, Tumblr! Hope it’s not meretricious ;) I made this late at night so it might not be funny now, but I dunno– I think the world might actually be a better place with Mrs. Hudson ruling it.

Happy new year, Tumblr! Hope it’s not meretricious ;) I made this late at night so it might not be funny now, but I dunno– I think the world might actually be a better place with Mrs. Hudson ruling it.

“Are you a sitty thing? Because I would love to sit on you.” Submitted by snickersa2010.

“Are you a sitty thing? Because I would love to sit on you.” Submitted by snickersa2010.

“Judging by the turn-ups on your jeans, you’d be a pretty good father to my children.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“Judging by the turn-ups on your jeans, you’d be a pretty good father to my children.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“So, you say you’re on fire… Sounds like you need my hose.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.

“So, you say you’re on fire… Sounds like you need my hose.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.

“I’d rip your clothes off in a darkened swimming pool even if people would talk.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“I’d rip your clothes off in a darkened swimming pool even if people would talk.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“I ship us like Mrs. Hudson ships Johnlock.”Based on a suggestion by amylemoymoy.

“I ship us like Mrs. Hudson ships Johnlock.”Based on a suggestion by amylemoymoy.

“You’re the missing piece to my puzzle… and I’m not talking about the puzzle Moriarty sent me.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea

“You’re the missing piece to my puzzle… and I’m not talking about the puzzle Moriarty sent me.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea

“Mary’s bullet isn’t the only thing that should have penetrated me.”Based on a suggestion by jc-cumberbatch.

“Mary’s bullet isn’t the only thing that should have penetrated me.”Based on a suggestion by jc-cumberbatch.

“Magnussen saw that my weakness is you.”Submitted by anonymous.

“Magnussen saw that my weakness is you.”Submitted by anonymous.

Happy April Fool’s Day, followers! I hope you’re all having a blast playing harmless pranks on each other.(Sorry I didn’t get this up earlier today… I’m borrowing my aunt’s wi-fi right now because mine isn’t working… Hopefully

Happy April Fool’s Day, followers! I hope you’re all having a blast playing harmless pranks on each other.(Sorry I didn’t get this up earlier today… I’m borrowing my aunt’s wi-fi right now because mine isn’t working… Hopefully

“You should pop ‘round to Baker Street. Who knows? Something might jump out of my pants.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“You should pop ‘round to Baker Street. Who knows? Something might jump out of my pants.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“I would marry you even if your proposal got interrupted by your best friend who faked his death.”

“I would marry you even if your proposal got interrupted by your best friend who faked his death.”

“When you said you were on tinder, I realize you meant buried in Magnussen’s bonfire, but I’d still like to swipe right.”

“When you said you were on tinder, I realize you meant buried in Magnussen’s bonfire, but I’d still like to swipe right.”

“If you think the illustrator’s out of control, you should see me in the bedroom.”

“If you think the illustrator’s out of control, you should see me in the bedroom.”

“When I said ‘the dog one,’ I wasn’t talking about your story. I was trying to think of the sex position.”

“When I said ‘the dog one,’ I wasn’t talking about your story. I was trying to think of the sex position.”

“I don’t have friends, just potential love interests.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“I don’t have friends, just potential love interests.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“Unlike my work for the British government, I occupy a major position in the bedroom.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“Unlike my work for the British government, I occupy a major position in the bedroom.”Submitted by nzeuropean.

“If you’d like, I can ensure that you’ll never need to borrow John’s laptop again.”

“If you’d like, I can ensure that you’ll never need to borrow John’s laptop again.”

“Forget the pigeon from The Blind Banker. If you want to see a bird, let me show you my cock.”

“Forget the pigeon from The Blind Banker. If you want to see a bird, let me show you my cock.”

“Don’t make people into heroes. Heroes don’t exist, but if they did, you’d be mine.”

“Don’t make people into heroes. Heroes don’t exist, but if they did, you’d be mine.”

“The Black Lotus’s circus isn’t the only place where acrobatics will be performed tonight.”Based on a suggestion by @sarahsarahsarahsarahsarah.

“The Black Lotus’s circus isn’t the only place where acrobatics will be performed tonight.”Based on a suggestion by @sarahsarahsarahsarahsarah.

“My love for you is even more enormous than 1880s Mycroft.”

“My love for you is even more enormous than 1880s Mycroft.”

“Sitting in the Carmichaels’ greenhouse isn’t the only thing we can do together that’s murder on the knees.”

“Sitting in the Carmichaels’ greenhouse isn’t the only thing we can do together that’s murder on the knees.”

“I find you more fascinating than an unmoving Toby.”

“I find you more fascinating than an unmoving Toby.”

I… I don’t even know, you guys. It was supposed to be something cute with Rosie’s first Easter and some domestic Johnlock, but then there was a murder bunny and an infant somehow able to solve crimes and it all turned to crack. I regret nothing.Hap

I… I don’t even know, you guys. It was supposed to be something cute with Rosie’s first Easter and some domestic Johnlock, but then there was a murder bunny and an infant somehow able to solve crimes and it all turned to crack. I regret nothing.Hap

liarloki: guys no one died mary and john are having a little girl no one died if sherlock died it would break mycroft’s heart no one died mary wasn’t using john the line “john watson is in danger” brought sherlock back from the dead “william

liarloki: guys no one died mary and john are having a little girl no one died if sherlock died it would break mycroft’s heart no one died mary wasn’t using john the line “john watson is in danger” brought sherlock back from the dead “william

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