headlines
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bisexuwhalepride: news headline: “stunning new information: more millennials are going to parks, riding on bikes, and doing physical activity than ever before!”millennials: where can i find fucking charizard
shithowdy: honestly this is the best headline ever written
kimreesesdaughter: millennial-review: How is that even a question that needs asking. They’re not going to give CPR to people they intended to kill. This headline implies that police shootings are accidents. Folks need kidneys and hearts out here.
surprisebitch: blu-iv: This headline is absolutely wild how am i not surprised that a gay porn actor is a white supremacist
alexbelvocal: aceunibomber1906: weavemama: weavemama: THIS HEADLINE IS EVERYTHING Congratulations to the goddess of tennis!!! You know her baby will never hear the end of it. “I was Pregnant with your dumb ass and STILL WON the Australian open…….
hotbooboo: Headline
givemeinternet: Some headline writer has waited their entire career for this day. Just too funny who ever thought that head line up either wasn’t thinking or has been waiting for the chance to make that joke
alizena: Best headline I have ever seen
themagicalgallifreyan: sky-blaze: caseyanthonyofficial: kyleehenke: my favorite headline of all time And it was all caught on tape Just this once, Rose…
cynfactory: traiteurr: The X Files + The Onion Headlines pt 2/? Best.
skygawker: star wars + onion headlines (pt. 1)
the1beautifulgame: hutchj: choclit98: certainlyunsure: baronessvondengler: bellygangstaboo: So much in one headline & picture… “I too am Muslim” I can’t. 😒 In her defense, she had just flown into England from Turkey, which
black–venus: weavemama: can u imagine being one of the best humanitarians out there just to have headlines talk about your pregnancy instead of the work you put in with trying to help genocide/rape victims….. why no one trusts american journalism
rizahmad:this is the only headline i need in my life
hutchj: choclit98: certainlyunsure: baronessvondengler: bellygangstaboo: So much in one headline & picture… “I too am Muslim” I can’t. 😒 In her defense, she had just flown into England from Turkey, which is why she was wearing
horce-divorce: this is the best headline i’ve ever seen in my life, i was just gonna post it w/o comment bc i thought it couldnt possibly get better, but it did
drinking-tea-at-midnight: whales-are-gay: crescendohowell: the only millennial headline that matters reblog if you want dinner more than sex why not both?
destinyrush:whoever is writing headlines for Bossip deserves a raise
surprisekitty: wizardmoon: skypig357: giflounge: 1944 - Snowball the cat tries to take over a machine gun in Normandy so she can shoot some Nazis herself. Blessed post. Good kitty i want someone to read that headline in an old timey reporter voice
dorkilybeautiful: bellygangstaboo: News media outlets refuse to show white men committing violent crimes. The issue is that when a white man kills he’s just a “man” but when a black man kills he’s “a BLACK man/thug”. The headlines provided
grumpsaesthetics:this is the kind of headlines i wanna read this year [x]
gogomrbrown: The person who headlined the article has never been through struggle. He should not be prosecuted he should be supported.
groverarms: Part of our sticker campaign. Edit* FYI, the banners came directly from the Costume Craze website. Their pictures, their images, their captions using racial slurs. I simply added the headline.
real-live-dragon: orestian: tranarchist: maxiesatanofficial: fakepreme: judging by how angry the headline is I think he was actually successful [through gritted teeth, veins visibly bulging] Actually you’ll find that I’m not mad at all, and
lesbianshepard:hey quick question when can we have normal fucking headlines back
setaflow: Stranger Things (Season 2) + Onion Headlines Bonus:
knsth: this is the most obvious headline i’ve ever read
tymorrowland: zegoldenpho3nix: feralmermaids: twilightly: Blessed headline Stevie acually said during a Fleetwood Mac concert: “I actually don’t know her, and I wish she was here. I was hoping I would get to cross paths with her. But I think she
lieutenant-sapphic: Thor: Ragnarok + The Onion headlines (2/?)
the-andromeda-system: tredlocity: Fake clickbait headlines from The Good Place. what is this
bigskydreaming: If Proud Mary flops this weekend thanks to Sony’s aggressively non-existent marketing of it, I sure hope Hollywood gives Taraji P. Henson as many more chances to headline an action blockbuster as they gave Scarlett Johansson after,
maxiesatanofficial: fakepreme: judging by how angry the headline is I think he was actually successful [through gritted teeth, veins visibly bulging] Actually you’ll find that I’m not mad at all, and also, that everyone who disagrees with me is
unregistered-hypercam2: thinkpiecebot: We’re Approaching Bubonic Plague All Wrong & How To Use Soap To Fix It yo this bot just wrote a headline from 1342
The Onion Headlines as Ghibli films
w0wls: salty-blue-mage: paper-storm: paper-storm: Some of my favourite responses to this monumentally stupid headline: Bonus because this one made me laugh actually out loud The youngest millennials are in their twenties like… We’ve had jobs
saxifraga-x-urbium: lord-kitschener: That headline was a wild adventure from start to finish. the bad sex awards are my favourite literary prize tho
wilfulwayfarer: vinebox: Eduardo Leon intended on convincing her to have sex with him. TMZ isn’t known for its accurate headlines, articles, or information. He was tased and arrested and is on bail for 贶,000 for the atempted rape.
the-final-pam: This headline just looks like something that slipped in from another even weirder universe
lemonvortex: lemonvortex: lemonvortex: I’m gonna be ill “They are arguing that they shouldnt have to reunite them with their kids” AND WHAT ALTERNATIVE, EXACTLY, DO YOU HAVE? I literally just cant even keep up with every awful headline I
nudityandnerdery: slyspeaker: nudityandnerdery: Since last year, I’ve seen this headline around a lot as a description of our current political divide: But it wasn’t until today that I found out there was a response article to it: Seriously, this
forgotn1: nudityandnerdery: the-purple-owl: zhenya71: nudityandnerdery: slyspeaker: nudityandnerdery: Since last year, I’ve seen this headline around a lot as a description of our current political divide: But it wasn’t until today that I found
odinsblog: The headline should be, “Republican Georgia Senator, Michael Williams, is a racist: and water is wet.” The Republican Party is the party of racists, gun nuts, more racists, Nazis, even more racists, and Vladimir Putin. And the deplorables
if-only-angels-could-prevail: tinyhatonapumpkin: filipinawitch: hostilemuppet: this headline gave me heart problems Y'all know Jim parsons left the big bang theory cuz its toxic right?? Y'all know he os a gay man with moneywho is actually a really
sodomymcscurvylegs: Fox News out here bout to put The Onion out of business with headlines like this.
trickerydickerydock: mephistotheabsurd: lady-feral: trans-mom: Millenials are PRESSURED to work unethically, therefore millenials are the unethical ones. That headline pisses me off so much. … I’m starting to think people don’t actually know
a-daks: I see this headline: As a former cakewrecks lover, I figured sure, I’ll bite. Let’s see this cake. Literally nothing could have prepared me for this cake. They paid แ for this “frog-themed” cake and honestly no amount of money in
sometimestherespolitics: A Story In Headlines
ivys-poison-paradise: I looked this up because there was no link and I wanted to make sure this wasn’t a case of someone just taking a headline and running with it, and uh:Here’s an article from the New York Times detailing the allegations of forced
kamiyu910: hazel2468: gahdamnpunk: This could potentially be deadly while the headline almost makes it out to be an inspirational feel good story “Teenager Forced to Forgo Lifesaving Medication Because his Parents Couldn’t Afford to Pay For It”
whales-are-gay: crescendohowell: the only millennial headline that matters reblog if you want dinner more than sex
genderqueersteverogers: writers-hq: Classic novels as Onion headlines (x) since when is fifty shades of grey a fucking classic
quasi-normalcy: st-just: Impossibly cursed headline Me: **starts a Capitalism Camp for kids, charging white suburban parents two thousand dollars a pop for teaching their younglings about the glories of the free market** Me: **leaves the children in
dreamingbiggest:sm0lgaysian:It really be like that sometimesAs a copywriter, i love this fucking headline.
blairwitchz: stranger things season three+ the onion headlines
sonic-gems-collection:I know that this is an article on the normal behaviour of goliath frogs, but i like to interpret the headline as if its reporting on a single event where the single biggest frog in the world just got up and built a pond
shilol: what a headline! rest in piss bitch
droct0: bigbitchygothgf: what a headline I really love how there are like two possible things we can draw from this a) aliens aren’t real and the whole thing is just some hoax/conspiracy from the government to uh.. do something? b) aliens are real
![grumpsaesthetics:this is the kind of headlines i wanna read this year [x]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/41a89feef216668b575fdb04ad8b4e5b/tumblr_ounun5qRmc1ubwfjpo1_250.png)
![real-live-dragon: orestian: tranarchist: maxiesatanofficial: fakepreme: judging by how angry the headline is I think he was actually successful [through gritted teeth, veins visibly bulging] Actually you’ll find that I’m not mad at all, and](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ca8df235efc6c57b4b34aaa551d38838/tumblr_oajrunpOv71relhh1o1_250.jpg)
