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clientsfromhell: Via Column Five Media. Constant fears.

clientsfromhell: oatmeal: More comics here. We donâ€™t usually do reblogs, but The Oatmeal nails the issue of working for exposure.Â

clientsfromhell: Contributed by Anthony Elder Whenever someone suggests I exchange labor for â€œamazing opportunityâ€ or â€œcollaborationâ€ or â€œexposureâ€

"Please change the letters in your email to blue, so I can click the link."

clientsfromhell: So you’re sitting in the office. It’s Friday and it’s ‘round about 4PM and you get a phone call: “We want to change everything to Papyrus. Didn’t you see Avatar? Everyone knows Papyrus. We’ve decided that we want Papyrus.”

I could get a stripper for that!

Clients From Hell: The Asshole Lawyer Boyfriend

Clients From Hell: "You have used die(); everywhere, do you secretly want me to die?"

Take a seat over here...

Jazz Up the Worbs

Honest-to-god conversation with a new client

Q: "What browser are you on?" A: "Google."

Clients From Hell: Neurotic restaurant owner/possible mob prince.

“We sent you an email, like, four days ago telling you that it doesn’t work!”

clientsfromhell: Introducing the Clients From Hell video It was a pleasure making this happen. Our cast and crew were phenomenal and we managed to put it all together with donated time, equipment, and coffee. A big thanks to everyone involved! What do

clientsfromhell: We don’t usually take submissions like this one, but it’s such a glimpse into madness, it couldn’t go ignored.

clientsfromhell: Client: Because we’re committed to being a green company, we’re participating in the “Day of Light” event, so we’re making all our departments turn off the power. Since you are working on this project for us, we expect you

clientsfromhell: Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”Client: “Is e-mail internet”?Me: “I beg your pardon?”Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online

clientsfromhell: Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”Client: “Is e-mail internet”?Me: “I beg your pardon?”Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online

clientsfromhell: Open call for a comic artist posted to a social media community. Not a joke post. This guy was dead serious, and screamed at me when I pointed out all the problems with his “contract” offer. ฮ for two years of open-ended work.

clientsfromhell: Client: UGH. All you internet generation people are the same, too literal.Me: You asked for an 8x10 print. I gave you that.Client: But I WANTED a 4x6!

clientsfromhell: Client: The attached Word document contains some web content I have drafted. I would like you to rewrite it professionally. Please note I don’t need you to touch the first half of the content at all I’ve colored those parts red

clientsfromhell: While designing an e-shop, I had to create an “add to wishlist” icon. I used a placeholder one to help mock-up the site. It was a shopping bag with a heart in the corner. Client: No hearts. This product is for men. Right – I forgot

clientsfromhell: A client hired me to design a logo for their social networking project featuring a ring of people holding hands. They didn’t ask me to, but in my design comp I gave all the people different skintones because it just seemed, you know,

clientsfromhell: Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”Client: “Is e-mail internet”?Me: “I beg your pardon?”Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online

clientsfromhell: Client: Can you make our website automatically download a virus to client’s computer so the client has to buy our anti-virus?His anti-virus is a .bat file which “detects” all files with a name like virus.exe, trojan.exe and so

clientsfromhell: Client: Yeah, we decided not to pay you that bonus after all.Me: What? We agreed that I would work at this rate, and I did the work as requested. Was there any problem with the work I did during the holiday break?Client: No, we just

clientsfromhell: Client: Shouldn’t these additional tasks have all been covered at the start of the project? Me: Yes, if you had told us about them. You gave us many new tasks during the project and we dealt with each one as they came. We had to

clientsfromhell: Client: I can’t seem to log in. Me: Okay, no problem. May I please know what you are using to log in? Client: My computer. Me: What operating system you are using? Client: Rogers. Me: That’s your internet service provider, not your

clientsfromhell: I am currently filling in as production manager for a local TV show. I have been helping out out with this show one day a week for six months. It’s a pretty easy gig but the client is a perfectionist and loves to jump down your throat

clientsfromhell: A nice looking couple brought their computer in for repair. Client: It just stopped working. They added offhandedly that they been smelling a “plastic” smell, and had also recently replaced a missing slot cover. I nodded, outlined

clientsfromhell: Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”Client: “Is e-mail internet”?Me: “I beg your pardon?”Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online

clientsfromhell:A client phones in to ask for some changes to their website. Client: I want to make these changes to our corporate website Me: Ok, what’s the address? Client: …. Me: The address of the website, the URL. Client: …. Me: It starts

clientsfromhell: I have a client who communicates exclusively via Microsoft Word.If she has something to tell me, I’ll receive an email with nothing in the body, but a Word doc attached. That’s where she writes her message. Whenever she wants to

clientsfromhell: Client: Remove this floating comma. Me: That’s an apostrophe.

clientsfromhell: Me: “What browser are you on?” Client: “Google.” Me: “Google Chrome?” Client: “No, just regular Google.” Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.” Client: “Google.” Me: “No.” Client: “Look, we

clientsfromhell: Client: Do you do lemonade? Me: Do we do… lemonade? Client: Yes, I was told you do that here. Me: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop. Client: I know that. I’m not an idiot. Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -

clientsfromhell: I don’t normally take requests from friends because they almost always end up messy in one way or another, but after some bugging and badgering from a friend I’ve known for almost 10 years, I caved and started to write what they

clientsfromhell: Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”Client: “Is e-mail internet”?Me: “I beg your pardon?”Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online

clientsfromhell: Open call for a comic artist posted to a social media community. Not a joke post. This guy was dead serious, and screamed at me when I pointed out all the problems with his “contract” offer. ฮ for two years of open-ended work.

clientsfromhell: “What is a ballpark estimate for getting my site ranked first on Google for the keyword ‘Google’?“ This one’s priceless…

clientsfromhell: Client: Write X but circle it. Circle it so that it shows it’s not so important. Me: But a circle would make it stand out. Client: No, no, not a circle – a circle like you use when something’s not important. Me: (patience ebbing)

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