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clientsfromhell: Me: “What browser are you on?” Client: “Google.” Me: “Google Chrome?” Client: “No, just regular Google.” Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.” Client: “Google.” Me: “No.” Client: “Look, we
clientsfromhell: I worked on a card set for a corporation. I sent a proof to the client, and he calls me about 10 minutes later.Client: Hey! I’ve received the proof, and I just want to let you know that you’re seriously the shit. You’re the shit.Me: Oh,
clientsfromhell: I work for a Fortune 50 company and service an account for a multi-billion dollar client. Recently in a meeting, I mentioned that we have too many redundant meetings and it is a waste of time. When asked for an example, I showed the
clientsfromhell: Client: Can I have a password reset please? Me: Of course. I’ve reset your password to 12345678, all numerals. You will be prompted to change the password once you log in. Client: Are the numbers in upper or lower case?
clientsfromhell: I used to work as help desk support for a Microsoft shop. I have a client who called so often that I recognized their voice. Without fail the conversation was always the same.Client: I forgot my email password. Can you reset it?Me:
clientsfromhell: via Pie Comic by John McNamee
clientsfromhell: I used to do social media for a dealership franchise. One day, my client gave me a flyer to post about a fundraising event for the Warrior Dog Foundation. It said “DOGS ENCOURAGED” in large letters at the bottom. Naturally, I put
clientsfromhell: Client: Hi, could you make these changes to the website, please? He gives me a fairly extensive list, including not just changes to text but also to the design of the site itself.Me: Sure, I’ll get right on those!Client: We have
clientsfromhell: Client: I like the fourth mockup the best, but I prefer the font used on the second mockup. I think it’s more legible that way. Could you create a new one like number four but with the font used on number two?Literally the same font.
clientsfromhell: Some clients are so argumentative, you’re pretty sure they live in a different reality.Client: I can’t read the copy on this printout. Me: That’s because you’ve printed it on A4. The magazine is larger than that, so the copy
clientsfromhell: Client : My computer is f***ed up.Me: What does the error message say?Client : It says “Windows is f***ed.”Me: Right. What is the exact wording of the error message? I need to know what happened.Client : I didn’t do anything.
clientsfromhell: Client: We URGENTLY need this ad designed. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE update us on the status. It’s going into a program and it’s due ASAP.Me: I’m designing that program. It’s not due until next month. Here’s your ad.
clientsfromhell: A client’s new website was up, but Google still had some the old pages cached that appeared as dead links when searching. When he realized this he asked:Client: Can you call Google and get them to fix this? This is a HUGE problem. Me:
clientsfromhell: Client: I need a new website and logo. All custom, and made from scratch.Me: Sure! What’s your timeframe and budget?Client: บ-20, and immediately.Me: Unfortunately, my services begin at โ dollars an hour.Client: What about โ
clientsfromhell: Client: We want to print three thousand menus. Can it be done today? Me: Yes, that is no problem. Do you have the finished layout and text? Client: No, aren’t you supposed to do that? Me: I can do that if you need, it’s just an
clientsfromhell: Client: Why is this purple? It should be orange!Me: Yesterday you texted me that you wanted it to be purpleClient: Autocorrect, am I right?
clientsfromhell: Client: Could you please print me a copy of our logo? I’m getting shirts made. Me: Sure thing. I’ll forward you the digital copies for your printer. Client: No need, my printer usually just prints what I bring on paper. Me: That’s…
clientsfromhell: Within the office I take care of small design work on top of my administrative work. My office had brand new logos made through the business’ marketing team.I was called in to my supervisor’s office for instructions on making a postcard
clientsfromhell: I worked on a translation job with this client. When we started in November, I informed him that I wouldn’t be working from Christmas to New Year’s because I was taking time off to visit family. Me: I just want to let you know that’s
clientsfromhell: Several years ago, I worked as a director for an art gallery/broker. We had a number of people come in with different artwork looking for appraisals. Some turned out to be fairly valuable, most did not. This is one of those times.Client:
clientsfromhell: I’m a voice actor. I was contacted by someone who’d heard my demo reel and wanted to work with me. Client: We think your voice is perfect for this project. We’ll send you your lines and some directions.Me: Great! I’ll send
clientsfromhell: Client: (filling out form) What does DOB mean?Me: “Date of birth.”Client: Oh, so my birthday? Or the day I was born?
clientsfromhell: If I told you every awful part of working with this client, this submission would be novel length. Instead, here’s a final quote that I’ll never forget. Client: I hope that me not paying you doesn’t affect your opinion of me as
clientsfromhell: Years ago I interviewed for a position as an art director at a well-known L.A. agency. I took a seat in the waiting room to wait for my appointment. On the walls, framed nicely, were three ads that I had designed for the agency I worked
clientsfromhell: Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink. Me: What black pen? Client: The one that was lying on your tablet. Me: You threw out my 贶 Wacom pen? Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out
clientsfromhell: I had just gone into labour (to have a baby) when a regular client called with some last-minute and typically urgent editing he needed done. It was 10pm on a Friday night. I explained that I was in labour and that we would be heading
clientsfromhell: Every now and then I’ll get a “scam” client texting me who has found my information via a Craigslist advertisement.Client: Yes I need you come and film family reunion yes?Me: Sorry, who is this? And where did you find my contact
clientsfromhell: Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”Client: “Is e-mail internet”?Me: “I beg your pardon?”Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online
clientsfromhell: A client hired me to design a logo for their social networking project featuring a ring of people holding hands. They didn’t ask me to, but in my design comp I gave all the people different skintones because it just seemed, you know,
clientsfromhell: I have a client who communicates exclusively via Microsoft Word.If she has something to tell me, I’ll receive an email with nothing in the body, but a Word doc attached. That’s where she writes her message. Whenever she wants to
clientsfromhell: Client: I have a problem with the website. Me: Okay, what’s wrong with it? Client: The colors are wrong. The font is wrong. The company name is wrong. We didn’t approve any of this copy. How could this have happened?! Me: Sir,
clientsfromhell: I was working on the new website for a client. They hadn’t produced any copy text yet, so I used Lorem Ipsum as placeholder. I received a call at 3:45 am. Client: Why are you sleeping?! We have emergency here! Me: It’s almost
clientsfromhell: Client: Remove this floating comma. Me: That’s an apostrophe.
clientsfromhell: Open call for a comic artist posted to a social media community. Not a joke post. This guy was dead serious, and screamed at me when I pointed out all the problems with his “contract” offer. ฮ for two years of open-ended work.
clientsfromhell: My client wanted to see a painting he had commissioned the day before, but I had just started. I informed him that the sketch he approved was not at a stage I wanted to share yet, as it was not developed enough and there were still quite
clientsfromhell: Client: Do you do lemonade? Me: Do we do… lemonade? Client: Yes, I was told you do that here. Me: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop. Client: I know that. I’m not an idiot. Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -
clientsfromhell: A client calls me to discuss developing a new website. They want to make it “interactive,” with all the bells and whistles. I ask them what the site is for so I can start planning.Client: I want you to build me a site so I can market
clientsfromhell: Editor’s Note: This story was submitted without any sort of context, which sort of makes it better. Let me know in the comments why you think a banana’s scent is being discussed. The following story deals with one of my regular
clientsfromhell: I work for a 3rd Party Logistics company. I answer the phones, transfer calls, and try to provide basic assistance after hours. One day at 4:50 pm central time, I received this call.Client: Is [representative] there?Me: I’m not sure
clientsfromhell: Me: The brief mentions a chart… once you send me that I can add it to the report.Client: Oh, you can draw the chart yourself!Me: Sure, I can do that. But, based on what data? Chart just mentions 130k followers.Client: Exactly.Me: You
clientsfromhell: I designed an ad for a client: pure white(#ffffff) on pure black (#000000)Client: Make the text brighter.
clientsfromhell: I had a potential client that asked me to stop by their office for a consultation on redesigning their current website. When she offered to show me her current site this is what she did (and I wish I was exaggerating): opened Internet
clientsfromhell: I work for a fire extinguisher company as their IT guy. It’s a family run business so everyone is old and technology illiterate. This client from hell asked me to figure out why his computer was so slow. I check out his laptop –
clientsfromhell: Client: Hi, my email doesn’t work. Me: Okay, what’s the the address? Client: (gives me their street address). Me: :(
clientsfromhell: Client: Why isn’t it green?Me: The message you sent yesterday told me to make it blue.Client: Gotta hate autocorrect.
clientsfromhell: I’m a copy editor and proofreader. I regularly offer a free sample to new clients (usually the first five pages of our first project together) so we both know we are on the same page with what the client wants and I provide.I also
clientsfromhell: I was catching a cab home and had a conversation with the driver. “Client” might be generous in this instance, but he was definitely trying to get some work out of me.Client: So, what did you study? Me: Multimedia Design. Client:
clientsfromhell: Client: Here are the edits to the document. It’s a PDF. Do you need the source file to make these changes? Me: Well, yes. Client: Can’t you just do it without the source file? That would be easier for me. Me: …
clientsfromhell: I was working on a brochure for a hair dye company. The client wanted a photo of a woman with grey hair for the brochure. I showed him some stock photos, but he didn’t like any of them. Instead, he sent me a photo of a young woman.
clientsfromhell: While working as a fairly new freelance video editor without much experience at dealing with clients directly, I was commissioned by someone to do a short video for their blog. I met them, got all the info from them and we discussed
clientsfromhell: Client: Could you use a more fun font? Me: EXCUSE ME THEY’RE ALL FUN.
clientsfromhell: I’m a page designer for my school’s newspaper. We cover our printing cost with ads, and usually that doesn’t cover all expenses. Since we have little income we try to please our customers so they will buy an ad space again. I had
clientsfromhell: A client approached me to make a logo for their transport and construction company. The whole process was hellish, but this was where I lost patience.Me: So here’s a work in progress for you to look at, let me know if there’s any-Client:
clientsfromhell: I work at a local newspaper, running the classified ads for our town. A woman called wanting to place an ad to rent an apartment. She seemed unable to understand that our paper, “The Town News,” did not distribute to the neighboring
