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officialunitedstates: officialunitedstates: officialunitedstates: officialunitedstates: what do you call someone who smokes two marijuanas double jointed what do you call someone who smokes three marijuanas dead drugs kill, kids
galliferyantimelady: my-patronus-is-a-winchester: we-wouldnt-last-two-days: Aight who the fuck sold their soul for the Harry Potter spin off A+ gif use
jr-abraxas: ambrister: sweetsyren: batou: Justin Bieber has outraged fans in Argentina by kicking their national flag while on stage. Videos from a Buenos Aires concert show fans throwing two Argentine flags onto the stage, both of which land near
procrastveitor: loudons: A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun Two hours of silence for all the teenagers who can’t wait to become adults because they think they’ll get to do whatever
legit-humour: remember that episode on that’s so raven where cory married his two rats
oldmellowbricks: The Rowdyruff Boys had two dads and nobody had a problem with it One of them was even a cross-dressing devil lobster. Did anybody complain? Nope.
softna: i need a two hour long hug
python57: hi, table for two? alright sir if you and your laptop want to follow me
hatfullofsky: evilsoutherngentleman: venusss-in-fursss: welcome-foolishmortals: Two teenage girls attempted to go in front of me for a photo and The Evil Queen said, “Excuse you, I do believe this young lady was here before you. Now step aside”.
rebelliousavox: himesama: if you see those before and after puberty things and get bothered because you still think you look pretty gross, remember that some pokemon have two evolutions and some have three this is the most inspirational thing i’ve
sweetappletea: endcomic: yamino: Make a wish for the new year! <3 Done and done. Last two came true, never not reblog. I really want 2014 to be a good year for me
rneerkat: rneerkat: what if your eyebrows are two lovers that dream of one day being a unibrow so they can finally be together thats the quickest ive lost a follower
herriestiles: shelterfromcold: two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says “man, i can’t believe i blew thirty bucks in there”. this literally took me forever to get
wolverxne: This is enough to warm even the wildest of hearts. Deep in the African bush a lioness gives giant hug to the two men who saved her. As a cub, Sirga was driven out of her pride and rescued by Valentin Gruener and Mikkel Legarth who could
to-boldly-go-down-on-me: The idea that nerds are awkward and don’t ever socialize is the stupidest stereotype ever because like Have you ever seen two nerds together? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MONTHFUCKING CONVENTION?
see-but-do-not-observe: Two bullets were fired in His Last Vow. The first one for very selfish reasons, the second one for quite the opposite.
cosbyykidd: therenaissanceratchet: obi-quiet: Car sex just got a helluva lot easier. or homelessness two kinds of people.
kingchestnutsroastinonanopenfire: Wizards can make fun of muggles all they want but the joke’s on them because phones can do in two seconds what they use owls and high-level magic to do, AND we have tanks. Try to avada kedavra a tank you stick-wiggling
tyrades: brokenglassgirl: This is really personal to me. I went to the place where I was attacked (molested but not raped) for the first time today since it happened two years ago. I was questioning whether or not it was my fault and thinking about
foodtrucker: waking up and getting up are two very very different things
sarah531: The other day I had a really good idea for a story: A high school Shakespeare club angrily splits into two groups when they can’t agree on the correct interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. One group thinks it’s a cautionary tale about the
vasuki: Lorde is barely 17 with two hit songs and a hit album and a million dollars yet you all feel like making fun of her appearance so you can seem relevant and edgy
The lovely moment where you shatter your Iphone and there’s two touching penis’s on the back.
tszarina: i remember when i was in second grade and i saw my sister kiss her female friend on the cheek and i was totally floored because i didn’t know two girls could kiss each other and i went to school and told my friends and we all started kissing
pippin-and-other-drugs: zimoku: tatoos-are-hot: vontoast: yoshika420: dingoinnuendo: you dont know true competition until youre one of the last two people in musical chairs i nearly killed someone like this once the chair games may the chairs
postllimit: why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too
stripe-d: how to shop in two steps :
emmablowguns: The life of a straight boy summed up in two overpriced hats
marthur: ravenmaw: I forget that old cameras don’t always have to take formal pictures oh wow this is amazing/hilarious. i especially love the two arseholes standing on a weird tree stump and MANPLANE if you thought it couldn’t get funnier btw
officialbrony: just-a-skinny-boy: Yes thank you google, how did you know that the very first option I wanted was a Starbucks that’s two and a half thousand miles away good job google don’t worry though, there’s light traffic
leeeeverett: today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?” one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face
dium: brokenglassgirl: brokenglassgirl: This is really personal to me. I went to the place where I was attacked (molested but not raped) for the first time today since it happened two years ago. I was questioning whether or not it was my fault and
linpatootie: I really hate long-ass ‘previously on…’ bits in front of episodes I fucking know what happened previously ok I just marathonned two seasons in a day trust me I know
glittakid: i saw these two girls while riding a gondola in venice. they were smoking and chatting on their windowsill, waving at passing boats. i thought they were incredibly lucky; i would love to share an apartment with my friend or sister in the most
heartmehateme: shoutout to the friends that still like me all two of you
iootonashis: This is definitely my two favorite tweets about the snowstorm in japan
rneerkat: “i bet you cant name two structures that can hold water!” “well, dam”
awwww-cute: He popped the first two. Now he carries this one very gently
sansatyler: two things I assume everybody has extensive knowledge about harry potter high school musical
sonicpinballparty: mcbushpig: when i was 8 i drew this comic about two girls kissing and my mom was out raged and i thought it was because my art wasn’t good enough so i kept trying to draw girls kissing and she sent me to therapy and my therapist
yes-i-am-superlocked: nicolrene: ghdos: The two smartest men on the planet. Just one of those posts you can’t not reblog. This is unreal
spoopyginny: how weird is that i have to have two pieces of glass sitting in front of my eyeballs so i don’t mistake a small child for a garbage can
indie-love-scene: ohmyprettydarling: am I the only one that thinks “I love you.” & “I’m in love with you.” are two totally different things “I love you” means your heart has made a connection with that person. “I’m
samirows: smattenhove: cacen: teapartyasian: Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated smad. there are two types of people
thecarvingwitch: prokopetz: sixsaltysweets: I’M DEAD Fun fact: if you know your feline body language, you’ll notice that the lynx is deferring to the housecat. As far as these two are concerned, the housecat is the higher-ranking cat. OH MY GOSH
amortizing:third wheeling two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple
coltre:Took this picture of two lovely friends of mine, one of the last days I spent in my hometown. Looking at this now makes me feel warm and honored; because even if it was just for a second, even if it was just for the time of a picture, I’ve been
cocainedollarbillsandmyhlp:bandsandyoutuberswow:tszarina: i remember when i was in second grade and i saw my sister kiss her female friend on the cheek and i was totally floored because i didn’t know two girls could kiss each other and i went to school
yourehidingfrommenow: domdean: cuntakinte: I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin you will never know which of these two statements reign true for
1989nihil:thomasthetalkingengine: A thrilling saga from my school at least they now have two seperate witness accounts that a squirrel took their homework, should their teacher not belive this story.
thor-n-cap: youarewortheverything: serration: constantly torn between “if it’s meant to be, it will be” and “if you want it, go get it” seriously though. how about a mix of the two “if its meant to be, its up to me”
thegreenwolf: jdjdgray: smile Still one of my favorite photosets in the world. I always hope these two were as happy in life as they look in these photos.
iatethelastofthecorpse: liquidglue: on this day one year ago someone sewed a fried egg to a tshirt on this day two years ago someone sewed a fried egg to a shirt
thesecretworldofarrietty: i met Miley Cyrus two weeks ago or something and she refused to sign my Hannah Montana CD she told me it wasn’t funny
liamdryden: dicapriho: How did we get here? Why? How are you feeling? What have we done to each other? What will we do? I’m completely picturing this as the two of them noticing and reacting to each other on the street
apeeled: i love it when things stop bothering you. like two months ago i was totally bitter about so many things and now im like “u know what i don’t even care” & that’s a beautiful feeling
jiveturkeyjerky: I love the guy who’s clearly a teacher who came over with the intent to tear two fucking idiot teenagers apart from each other only to find these fucking nerds it probably made his entire month
no-chill-at-all: Two hours and 25 minutes into Netflix and Chill…
thiefshipped: alexwithlove: waywardswagabond: jessiesula: pizzaforpresident: I’m so done with this planet she saved two lives and all they care about is her nipple. this is sexism, my friends. THIS MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY ARE YOU ACTUALLY EVEN
