sherlock
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“I would punch the chief superintendent just because he called you a weirdo.”
Bruh… Bruh, wait… I just remembered… We ain’t even American, bruh.
“You make me blush so much, my face is the same color as Jennifer Wilson’s wardrobe.”
“I wish I was Irene’s phone just so I could get into your cleavage.”
“I always hear ‘suck my face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by Courtney (no username).
“My text alert isn’t the only way you can hear me orgasm.”
“I cannot eliminate being with you, therefore it must not be impossible.”
“Forget Andrew West’s missile plans… The real missile is the one in my pants.”
“What’s your star sign? I don’t know mine because I deleted the solar system.”
“I hope our relationship lasts longer than John’s mustache.”
The best of “Shezza,” from bbcsherlockpickuplines.
“You’re the only cabbie whose head is not the only thing I want to see.” Submitted by unicorn-enthusiast.
“Lestrade will find his division before I find someone better than you.”
“I know your friends don’t all hate you. I only wrote that essay so I could have you all to myself.”
“I’m not just a soldier, doctor, and blogger… I’m also a lover.”
“You are a man, and good at it… but I think you’d be even better at being my man.”
“I want to be the first one you call for after waking up from being drugged by a dominatrix.”
“May I twist and diffuse your hair?”
“I’m not a dragon for you to slay… I’m a dragon for you to lay.”
“Because you know I’m all about that case, ‘bout that case.”
“Do you like solving crimes? Because I’ve got a vacancy.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Brainy’s the new sexy, but your looks are just old fashioned sexy.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side. I guess I’m a loser now.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Judging by the turn-ups on your jeans, you’d be a pretty good father to my children.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“So, you say you’re on fire… Sounds like you need my hose.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.
“I’d rip your clothes off in a darkened swimming pool even if people would talk.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“I ship us like Mrs. Hudson ships Johnlock.”Based on a suggestion by amylemoymoy.
“I’d love your mind even if it wasn’t a palace.”
“My death may have been fake, but my love for you is real.”
“I can’t keep my eyes off of you… so I’m upgrading your surveillance status to grade three active.”
“I would stop your cab just to welcome you to London.”
“Why keep your eyeballs in the microwave when you can keep them on me?”
“The skull on the mantle isn’t the only bone I’d like to take.”
“Take me up against the Reichenbach Wall.”
“Mary’s bullet isn’t the only thing that should have penetrated me.”Based on a suggestion by jc-cumberbatch.
“You are more eloquent than dust.”
“Will you have coffee with me if I refresh my lipstick a bit?”
“I would let you stop my cab even if I wasn’t the serial killer you were looking for.”
“Me wearing antlers is best left to the imagination, but me wearing nothing at all is a must-see.”
“You don’t need a fake drugs bust to get into my flat.”
