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“Let’s have a relationship that’s in a good place and very affirming.”
“Solving crimes isn’t the only thing I have a vacancy for.”
“I think you’re 221-beautiful.”
“Your smile shines brighter than an inexplicable matchbox.”
“You make me more speechless than John asking me to be his best man.”
“theimprobableone will use capital letters before I stop loving you.”
“If you left me, I’d do anything to get you Reichen-back.”
“You make me more out of breath than Mycroft on a treadmill.”
“I’d help you hunt down a hound even if I was on holiday.”
“When you called me ‘nurse,’ were you really just making do, or were you trying to roleplay?”
“You don’t have to say ‘Vatican Cameos’ to get me to go down.” Submitted by Courtney (no username).
“I’ve fallen for you more times than that American has fallen out of your window.”
“Will you be the Robin to my Hat-Man?”
“I calculate that there are thirteen possibilities once I invite you into my bedroom.”
“Dieting is for Mycroft. Come on, you know you want a taste of me.”
“Are you a train car in Sumatra? Because you are the bomb.”
“If I had only a minute and twenty-nine seconds left to live, I’d want to spend that time with you.”
“I know Richard Brook was a lie, but I’d like to see you in handcuffs anyway.”
“I want to have more meetings with you than Magnussen had with the prime minister.”
“I would spend the night at your place even if it was a scuzz dump.”
“Without you, my heart is like the coin that Mary shot… There’s an empty hole in it.”
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“I would turn back your watch during your friend’s fake suicide just to spend more time with you.”
“Without you, my heart is as broken as Mrs. Hudson’s hip.”
“Forget mind palaces… Wanna see my mind sex dungeon?”
“I want you wrapped around me more tightly than my purple shirt.”
“I’d let you stay in my bedroom even if you didn’t need the space.”
“I’m a fan of yours– type B, that is.”
“You put the ‘bae’ in Baker Street.”
“You’re the boomerang to my hiker… Throwing you away would kill me.”
“Redbeard isn’t the only one I’d like to be petting.”
“I bet you can make me scream… and I don’t mean like Claudette Bruhl.”
“I think about Redbeard when I want to calm down, but I think about you when I want to get excited.”
“I only have earbuds for you.”
“I heard you want the D… and I’m not talking about deductions.”
“Forget the crime scene… The only body I want to be checking out is yours.”
“When I said I’d get you off, I wasn’t just talking about the murder charge.”
“I.O.U. a fall… into my bed.”
“If you were my drug, I wouldn’t need a case to justify doing you.”
“I would murder a blackmailing newspaper proprietor for you.” Based on a suggestion by madspades.
“Whip me like one of your dead girls.” Submitted by madspades.
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“I would kick my parents out if you came over.”
“I love you more than Carl Powers loved his shoes.”
“My love for you isn’t like Lord Moran’s bomb– it doesn’t have an off switch.”
“Wanna see my secret tattoo?”
“I would punch the chief superintendent just because he called you a weirdo.”
Bruh… Bruh, wait… I just remembered… We ain’t even American, bruh.
“You make me blush so much, my face is the same color as Jennifer Wilson’s wardrobe.”
“I wish I was Irene’s phone just so I could get into your cleavage.”
“I always hear ‘suck my face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by Courtney (no username).
“My text alert isn’t the only way you can hear me orgasm.”
“I cannot eliminate being with you, therefore it must not be impossible.”
“Forget Andrew West’s missile plans… The real missile is the one in my pants.”
“What’s your star sign? I don’t know mine because I deleted the solar system.”
“I hope our relationship lasts longer than John’s mustache.”
The best of “Shezza,” from bbcsherlockpickuplines.
“You’re the only cabbie whose head is not the only thing I want to see.” Submitted by unicorn-enthusiast.
“Lestrade will find his division before I find someone better than you.”
