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“If I broke into your home, would you have a cup of tea with me?”
“I’m hung like a Baskerville Hound.”
“I.O.U. a threesome.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Sex doesn’t alarm me. Want me to prove it?”
“Playing games with you makes my brain explode. In a good way.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I don’t have to use my imagination to know that you’d be the last thing I thought of before I died.”
“Sherly– you’re my division.” Submitted by somepeaceplease.
“Leave the wall alone. If you’re bored, I’ll gladly take a pounding from you.”
“Hiiiii… I seem to have misplaced the key to your heart… Would you mind buzzing me in?”
“I baked you a gingerbread cookie. Sorry it’s burnt.”
“If convenient, meet me in my bedroom. If inconvenient, come anyway.”
“You could never repel me.”
“If you take off that bedsheet, I’ll show you my battle dress.” Submitted by bumpershoot.
“I have a special room in my mind palace just for you.” Requested by one of my real-life friends, who doesn’t have a Tumblr.
“I want to put my ‘experiment’ in your 'microwave.’” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.
“I always hear ‘kiss me on the mouth’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.
“You’re the king of my mind palace.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I’m married to my work, so we’ll have to be discreet.” Requested by one of my real-life friends, who doesn’t have a Tumblr.
“You can X-ray my possessions if you want.”
“If we were at a restaurant together, I wouldn’t deny that you were my date.”
“Would you like to go round and round the garden like a teddy bear with me?”
“I always hear ‘sit on my face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by verity-burns.
“You make my saliva coagulate.” Submitted by soiguessimhangingherenow.
“I wouldn’t put on pants for you.” Submitted by britishrandominsanity.
“I’d put my riding crop in your mortuary, if you catch my drift.” Submitted by andyouwere-barelyholdingon.
“Being without each other… Isn’t it hateful?”
“If you think my cheekbones are prominent, just wait until you see the bone in my pants.”
“I would have dinner with you even if I wasn’t hungry.”
“I never want to say ‘LATERZ!’ to you.”
“I love you so much, I promise to avoid your nose and teeth whenever I punch your face.”
“Wanna change Moriarty’s nickname for you?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I’ll help you excrete the drug out of your system.” Submitted by maskedcity.
“I know a man… And I am what he likes.” Submitted by Raj (no username).
“Even if there weren’t snipers aiming at you, I’d still fall for you.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Even if I was allergic to kittens, I would still cuddle you.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Who cares about decent? I am turned on!”
“I would sponsor a serial killer just to get your attention.”
“I’d like to get some from you… And I’m not talking about cigarettes.”
“Would you let me come into your ‘cab’ with my 'harpoon’?”
“I would drink your coffee even if the sugar was drugged.”
“My chemical defect for you could never put me on the losing side.”
“So, you’ve got a boyfriend then? I’ll have you either way. It’s all fine.”
“When I said I was hoping you’d go deeper, I wasn’t talking about your analysis.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Would you like me to alarm you?” Submitted by anonymous.
“If I met you at work, I’d totally leave my number under a dish.”
“You make me go ‘Oh my GAAAAAWD!’ more than a hydraulic bed.”
“There’s no charge to ride me.” Based on a suggestion by tophatsandfedoras, who wanted cab-driving Moriarty.
“I’d hit that 1895 times.”
“It’s a good thing I find breathing boring, because you take my breath away.”
“I regret deleting the solar system, because you are out of this world.”
“I’ll be the knife and you be the Cluedo board: Let me pin you against the wall.”
“When I say ‘Vatican Cameos!’ I want you to go down… on me.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Do I want to see some more of you? Oh, God yes.”
“I wanted to be a pirate so I could get at your booty.”
“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.â€
“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime… But only if you use them with me.â€
“Your coffin isn’t the only ‘box’ of yours I’d smash with passion.”Based on a suggestion by @morbidmegz.
“Getting over you is more impossible than arresting a jellyfish.”
“Will you be the Redbeard to my Yellowbeard?”
“If I be the Thatcher bust, will you be the flash drive? I want you inside of me.”
