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Why the fuck do all my sisters friends insist on calling me by my birth name, can they just not wrap their minds around the idea that it’s not my name??? Same thing with the councilor I’m forced to go to, J_____ is NOT my damn name. It’s Scarlet.
H a ha hahaha ha oh my god my hair is fucking falling out I can’t deal with this, my hair is one of the only things about me I actually like oh my god no someone please help it constantly feels like my brain is dying inside my skull
Oh hi there anxiety I thought I was unaffected by the thing, thank you for correcting me.
I swear, disappointing someone is literally the worst thing ever.
I guess my self hatred is just a constant thing nowIt really doesn’t seem to want to turn off ever
I honestly makes me so happy to see art errors in stuff– anything, really, but especially in things like manga and anime. Because I have an artists’ eye and probably other people wouldn’t notice, which means my own art might have hiccups like
Ugh I wish there was someone to talk to about this but everyone that comes to mind feels… wrong for some reasonI’m too ashamed of this thing to be able to actually tell any of them it, I dunno what to do I mean I guess I can bottle it but like
Lately for some reason I’ve been having very physical reactions to my emotional outburstslike, my hands twitch when I get violent suicidal thoughts and sometimes bad self hatred things toosometimes my whole body shakes and other times I just take in
Me: self harms without actually actually recognizing it’s self harm, it’s just a thing I’m doingMe: wait a secondMe: ths isMe: ~suspicious~
First thing I felt today that wasn’t directly tied to the dream I had was anxiety Today is uh Not gonna be easy huh
Me: thinks about some stuff that might vaguely allude to my abuser Me: 👀 My mind: hyper focuses on that one little thing till all I can think about is them
Me: is very mildly triggered by a daily thing that is so crazy normal Me: how to avoid this for the rest of my entire life hm
Me: ahhhh I wanna ask for an accommodation because this thing is triggering and makes me super duper anxious Me: that’s ridiculous. You are dumb. Stop it. That’s just gonna make people think you’re ridiculous and needy etc
There may come a day where I don’t hate myself and want to do awful, violent things to myself– but that day is not today. Or tomorrow. Probably not, like, any day after that either.
Can I please just die nowLikeFcking pleaseGoddamnWhy is it that things are like this
I literally feel like such a worthless piece of shit right now. I am effectively losing the only thing I had left to lose. Nothing fucking matters anymore. I don’t matter anymore.
I know you’re supposed to do things like this ‘for yourself’ but i really feel that i am partly doing my degree for my parents. Not in a bad way, as they have never put any pressure on me academically and they have always supported
My parents have always been tough on me but they’ve supported me emotionally and financially through so many things. I’m so blessed الحمد الله
you guys. i’m trashed and didn’t spend a penny tonight and looked real cute and ugh. hung out with some old pals from like 10th grade. it was good. sometimes going out isn’t the worst thing ever.
you guys, i wear the same thing every day when i have work, so when it’s time to go out and get drunk, i make myself feel as hot as possible. going out with my sis and we’re pregaming with sake and beer. gonna be ridiculous. love you.
i legitimately forget about the option to buy things in store. i was telling my best friend that i’m gonna order an iphone on friday and she was like ‘dude just go to the att store’ and i was like OH SHIT THATS RIGHT YOU CAN DO THAT.
I’m kind of going through something weird inside and the only thing I can think about is shaving my head again.
just got home from work…feelin good af about things for once
are you srs? The first thing I wake up to is a text from my coworker talking about some racist shit that my other coworker said about a black customer. JUST LET ME LIVE, DUDE
I kinda wish there was someone in my life who would make some decisions for me. Like reminding me to eat, cleaning up, going out and when not to go out. Just simple everyday things I guess. I suppose that’s why I want a Master/Owner. Stability,
I want to rearrange my room. rearrange every thing after that. Sigh
I feel like this means nothing to you at all. Its been 4 months and we are still at square one. You need to stop saying things you think I want to hear when we get drunk. I know you don’t mean any of it and your actions after the fact prove it..
So I posted a thing on Facebook about how Michelle Obama has a law degree from Harvard and on the bottom of the picture it said happy black history momth
I think the only reason everyone holds on to memories so tightly, is because memories are the only things that don't change when everything and everyone else does.
The only thing I'm looking forward to
Thoughts and things.
I hate people that put themselves down for compliments. There are actually people out here that feel like shit about themselves and harm themselves because of their self-vision. You do things that how you have confidence, but you still put yourself down
Having too many material things widens the hole in your heart, making you need more and more and never be satisfied. I had to learn that the hard way.
bigbardafree: deciding i was pretty was the best thing that i ever did one day i was just like fuck this im pretty and i was
leviathanrose: like 98% of my problems would be solved if i stopped overthinking things and calmed the fuck down and stopped being such a panicky, anxious little shit
I blog so much as treatment, so to speak. It calms me, it distracts me from all the hurt I skillfully ignore. So..if I reblog a lot (especially funny things) it’s as a distraction. It’s all I have, really. Tumblr is like my safe haven. It
The thing about Paris is that it has a reputation for being a romantic city and whatnot but in reality it is really not like that at all. Well..in the cliché senses, yeah. There are people making out everywhere, couples on motorcycles, men with accordions
I’m growing really tired of being treated like shit for being upset over things I have a right to be mad about. Silly Raven, you can’t have feelings.
this month really sucks so far.. my week has been incredibly painful and lonely.. i hate having to suck it up and work and go to school and do things. i just want to lie down forever. i hate life right now.
intpmusings: Sometimes I wonder whether I have any real intelligence or if I just have enough random bits of surface knowledge to bullshit my way through most things.
I’ve literally been complaining about the same thing for years and years and I’m so tired of it. I’m actually just exhausted and tired in general.
You’re the only thing keeping me from going insane. I need you, please don’t leave.
I don’t know why I always doubt things, or you. It’s probably because I can’t have you close, and I miss you so much. But, you’re so fucking lovely to me. You always have been. Please, don’t ever leave. Not now, not ever.
I have literally missed you every fucking day since we stopped talking. It’s been a little over a year, and there isn’t a day I don’t think about you.I want to talk to you again, but I don’t know how things will go. I don’t
I feel like every thing around me is moving at a million miles an hour and I’m just stuck here, infinitely, alone. I want you to be happy; you deserve to be happy. I just don’t know when I’ll ever recover from this, or if I ever will.
I shouldn’t be the one having to do this. Why do things always have to end up so fucked up? :ccc
I don’t know why it bugs me so much, but it does. Now that being kawaii is suddenly “cool” or what the fuck ever, everyone suddenly has an interest in Sailor Moon and all things kawaii. All I see now is people saying they’re so kawaii blah blah
I saw some asshole post something on FB about someone that is sad, and it really pissed me off so this needs to be said. I really hate it when people say things like, “Oh I tried to help my friend, but they refuse to accept my help, so I’m
Ugh why is everyone posting food and sex? Those are two things I do not, and cannot have right now. Fuck you all.
It makes me so sad when I see that other long distance relationships don’t work out. Distance ruins so much, and it is really fucking sad that some relationships have the potential to be something beautiful, but distance fucks it up. Things could
Everyone that wants to unfollow me might as well unfollow me now, because I have already lost tons from this entire thing.
I need to really learn Japanese. Things would be much easier.
Last night, I had a dream about you, But those things will never come true.
Boys don’t fall in love with sad girls.You will never love me.I have to keep myself together until edc. After that, I need help.Feeling like I want to end things again.This isn’t good.
The more time I spend on the internet, the more I learn, the more unhappy I become. I refuse to close my eyes and shelter myself from the things that are going on in this world just because it will make me feel better having not come across them. Turning
Above & Beyond is seriously one of the only things that keeps me from going completely insane.
I hate distance so fucking much, if you were here things would be so fucking different. I hate it. I hate it. I fucking hate it. It fucking kills me.
My dog is literally the only reason I don’t want to end. She is the only thing that will ever love me indefinitely regardless of what I am.
People fucking piss me off so much, I just want to live in a little house in the forest with tons of animals, or anywhere as long as I could be surrounded by pretty things, animals, and music. I understand animals better than people. That’s all
I made an anime blog, not that this blog isn’t mostly anime anyways, but this is going to be all anime, manga, hentai related posts, also reviews on things I watch, etc. Follow if you would like yandere-princesss
