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“If I deduced everything in your life from your alcoholic sibling to your military service, would you come home with me? Forever?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I don’t know anything about the stars unless they’re the ones in your eyes.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I got the milk.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Come with me and I’ll make sure the Hound isn’t the only thing howling.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“What are you doing? Get back into the cage I made for you!” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“How about I smear myself with jam when we get home and let you lick it off?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I would fake kill myself for your sake.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I would disguise myself as a French waiter to stop you from proposing to someone else.”
“When I asked if you came for me, I didn’t just mean to the drug den.”
“We think you’re smoking, and that’s not just because we pulled you out of a bonfire.”
“I don’t need Anderson’s Reichenbach theory to show you how hypnotizing I can be.”
“You should come home with me instead. Your wife is AGRA-vating.”
“When you called me ‘nurse,’ were you really just making do, or were you trying to roleplay?”
“Will you be the Robin to my Hat-Man?”
“If I had only a minute and twenty-nine seconds left to live, I’d want to spend that time with you.”
“I would turn back your watch during your friend’s fake suicide just to spend more time with you.”
“Why don’t you go ‘right the way down’ on me?”
“You put the ‘bae’ in Baker Street.”
“I would solve a skip code and steal a motorcycle for you.”
“I see you frequent Speedy’s Cafe… You must like some Sherlock inside of you.” (For those who don’t know, this is a reference to the fact that Speedy’s sells a “Sherlock Wrap” in real life.)
“You can imagine the Christmas dinners, but I’d much rather you be there to experience them yourself.”
“Being without you hurts worse than reading Alone On the Water.” [ LiveJournal / FanFiction.net / AO3 ]
“I know your friends don’t all hate you. I only wrote that essay so I could have you all to myself.”
“I want to be your boyfriend more than Sherlock wanted to be a pirate.”
“I can’t keep my eyes off of you… so I’m upgrading your surveillance status to grade three active.”
“Your mustache ages you… Good thing I like older men.”
“Wanna get laid? And I don’t mean onto the pavement in front of Bart’s.â€
“Your eyes are more colorful than John’s Christmas jumper.â€
“I may make you take a separate cab, but I’ll never make you take a separate bed.â€
“I’m gonna climb you like Zhi Zhu climbs buildings.â€
“My shirt buttons may strain to get away from me, but I bet you won’t.â€
“John says I’m a machine… Want to see if you can turn me on?â€
“I’m not a plot device… The only function I want in your narrative is love interest.â€
“Get a room? Nah, let’s get an entire flat.â€
“My coat collar isn’t the only thing that’s up.â€
“Writing my best man speech for your wedding was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… because I wasn’t the one you were marrying.â€
“I may not know that the Earth revolves around the sun, but I know that my heart revolves around you.â€
“I want to go steady with you– steadier than John’s left hand under stress.â€
“So, I hear you’re abnormally attracted to dangerous situations and people. I can conform to that pattern if you’d like.â€
“I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the color pink.â€
“Your beauty is to die for… or at least fake die for so Moriarty’s sniper doesn’t shoot you.â€
“Your feelings for me are more obvious than the password on John’s computer.â€
“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?â€
“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.â€
“Ignore the illustrator. You’re so unforgettable, I would recognize you with or without a mustache.â€
“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.â€
“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.â€
“I would put on a black veil and pretend to be a client just to see you.â€
“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.â€
“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.â€
“Forget morphine or cocaine. I get plenty high just off of your presence.â€
“My balls are bluer than the carbuncle Watson wrote about.â€
“Do you have a feet fetish? Because my game is afoot.â€
“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.â€
“If you think Mycroft is enormous, just wait until you see my dick.â€
“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.â€
“I would smile at you on a bus even if you didn’t have a daisy behind your ear.â€
“Getting over you is more impossible than arresting a jellyfish.”
“Planning our dates will be easy. I know exactly where we’ll need to be picked up for lunch two weeks from now.”
“I don’t need to be actually wetting myself in order to tell the truth about how much I love you.”