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thisismyveritas: I tried that trick today where you chew gum while chopping onions so you don’t cry and it worked! Then my mom came home and I said, “Hey Mah I’m chopping onions and I’m not crying, know why?” And without even looking up from
burgrs: what if flies said “hey” every time they flew by your ear
littlesisterwish: You were a little sad when you found out from your college friends that your little sister is the premier cocksucker of the whole college row. Your best friend said, “Hey man, we wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to get a piece.”
damonwells: christine-chapels: remember that time that george washington said “hey don’t split into political parties bc bad shit’s gonna happen if you do” and then america did the thing
cakeforcouples: slut-solutions: cakeforcouples said: Hey there! Such a talent you have to write spontaneous stories. Have you ever written
asian: so i’m a waiter at a japanese restaurant and today i saw a customer using tumblr on her phone so i went over to her and said ”hey i saw that you use tumblr, do you know the tumblr user asian?” and she was like yeah, I used to follow him
invaderxan: zipsuptsides: gnotknormal: theconcealedweapon: An action being “punishable by a fine” basically means “legal for rich people”. Oh wow. That’s… I once dated a rich guy and if I said “Hey it’s illegal to drink on the street”
embroideredlyrics: With tears in my eyes, I begged you to stayYou said “Hey man, I love you but no fucking way”Twin Size Mattress - The Front Bottoms
fuckinq: I went jogging this morning and i noticed a guy was following me and i was so scared lmfao my heart was pounding and then he finally caught up to me and said “hey you dropped 50 bucks” and i took it and started running and while i’m running
apuarius: Today my dad told me he was hungry and I looked at him and said “hey hungry I’m daughter” and he was kinda shocked
theactualjakeenglish: burgrs: what if flies said “hey” every time they flew by your ear
shinymaplesquid: shinymaplesquid: I just got a wrong number text from a stranger that said: “hey can we use ur pool there’s a moose in ours” #welcometocanada I’ve never received such a funny text in my life I can’t breathe UPDATE:I told them
hentaisexphilia: damnhentai said:Hey! Time for another request! :) I’d like to request some Rule 63 where the new girl gives either a blowjob or paizuri! :) Is that a possibility? :) It is! Surprisingly, there’s quite a lot of pictures… but for
ravenswallowz: davator said: Hey Raven, You look like a girl from Philly that I know with great kisses and is originally from Rio. My photo avatar is me and yes I’m a dude probably older tan you. I don’t know why I’m on Tumblr but Ive been here
thatsmoderatelyraven: a girl in my class came up to me today when i was at my desk and said “hey peyton did you get your fluffy chicken yet?” and i looked up so fast that my head almost snapped off of my body
spookyfeuilly: so one time this asshole was harassing my friend and he gave her a note that said “hey pretty wanna date me? yes: smile no: backflip” and like the fucking badass she is and because she’s a gymnast, she got up and did a fucking backflip
vctrfuentes: And I said, “Hey, what’s on your mind?”I think about my life without you and I start to cry
ngrboy4whttops: He saw him layin’ around in the park, approached him and said, “Hey…wanna know what i see in you…what you were meant for? Come with me… (Back at His place) This….and this!!!! Hot
ngrboy4whttops: I knelt there, with my mouth open and ready to take Him in, when He said, “Hey…come watch gag this nigger with My dick.” Yum
hellooodaddy: Getyer Roxoff in TO said: “Hey Boy. Daddy’s home.” Yum
incestheaven: “I got a text from my boyfriend asking me to get ready in 30mins so he come and take me to a concert. I was naked in my room and putting on my makeup and heard the door open. I said “hey you are early Peter” without turning my head
pastalad: pastalad: so this morning my dad said “hey we got some tomatos” and i walk into the kITCHEN AND THE ENTIRE TABLE WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN TOMATOS LIKE DAD THAT IS NOT SOME TOMATOS THAT IS A FUCKLOAD OF TOMATOS WHRE DID YOU EVEN GET ALL
tayloracleswift: What is the thought process behind The Interview…like James Franco and Seth Rogen were sitting around and said “hey you wanna make a movie about assassinating a dangerously unstable dictator? Like an actual living man who rules a
morbidding: zkac: stay safe guys I almost fucking said “hey mom did u know Christmas is on Friday the 13th” I hate all of you
msknope: At first, after the whole Conan O’Brien Tonight Show debacle, I called Jay and said, “Hey, just so you know, I’m so happy here. I love Late Night. When 12:37 rolls around, no one watches, no one bothers me, NBC doesn’t even know I’m
Heaven stepped back beside the tree when she saw Mr. Crude walking towards her. She smiled as she pulled open the leg of her shorts and said, “Hey, Mr. Crude! Want to feel something warm and wet? Please?”
Sabrina stood in the doorway looking at Mr. Crude and said, “Hey, old man. Think you can get it up one more time for your horny girl?”“I think after a minute inside your mouth, it’ll be fine. Would you like to ride it this time?” he replied.“After
When Sabrina heard Mr. Crude coming inside, she turned towards the door and said, “Hey, old man! I realize I don’t really need to ask but, are you in the mood for a little something-something?”“As long as it’s your little something-something,
sheisperfect67: Sabrina waited on the bed for Mr. Crude. When he entered the room she said, “Hey, old man! I’ve got something for you!”He smiled and responded, “I hope it’s what I think it is, young lady!”“I’m pretty sure it is.”
adultstars-sfw:Viola Bailey With the sun making her squint, Viola said, “Hey, Mr. Crude! Do you think it’d be okay for me to take off my top and shorts? It sure is getting hot out here!”“Do you have on anything underneath?” he asked.Viola grinned
Sabrina walked towards Mr. Crude and said, “Hey, old man! Here’s a big kiss to hold you ‘til I’m done with my shoot. MWAH!”
Sabrina leaned over the picnic table, looked over at Mr. Crude and said, “Hey, old man! Why not take advantage of the privacy we have to take advantage of me?”He looked around to make sure nobody else was in sight and then walked up behind her, lowered
bcrude:Sabrina walked towards Mr. Crude and said, “Hey, old man! Here’s a big kiss to hold you ‘til I’m done with my shoot. MWAH!”
Baby I got your money .. Don’t your worry, I said hey.. Baby I got your money.. 💸💸💸💸💸 #black #kelis #vintage by seliniangelini
artinwood54: I said, “Hey, you, get off of my cloudHey, you, get off of my cloudHey, you, get off of my cloudDon’t hang around ‘cause two’s a crowdOn my cloud, baby”- Rolling Stones
vampireapologist: vampireapologist: idk if I’ve posted about this before but by far the strangest things that’s happened to me in retail was the time someone’s total came out to my birth-year and I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!”
bliss-waves: you said hey princess, i love you, but no fucking way
extrasad:ezekestiel: you said “hey man i love you but no fucking way” HELP I NEED THIS SHIRT
breelandwalker: tayloracleswift: What is the thought process behind The Interview…like James Franco and Seth Rogen were sitting around and said “hey you wanna make a movie about assassinating a dangerously unstable dictator? Like an actual living
princess-kitten-bitch: With tears in my eyes, I begged you to stay. You said “hey man I love you, but no fucking way.”
