i got the house
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i got the house clips
niveaserrao: Cecily Strong killing it at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
blk0912: boredandmoist: This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal. Today, I just got the keys to my first house. Give it time. Needed this today
rlyhigh: saevuswinds: vardaesque: you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found
boys-pissing: We got a King in the house!
enfcaptions: After Sara’s friends screwed her over, she decided to try to sneak into the house steal her clothes back. Of course she got caught. “Big mistake, Sara,” Mike said. “While you snuck in here, Abby drove your truck home for you. Looks
curiouslymistook: healthycomfyhappy: blk0912: boredandmoist: This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal. Today, I just got the keys to my first house. Give it time. Needed this today when you hear people preach that it gets better,
sonoanthony: curiouslymistook: healthycomfyhappy: blk0912: boredandmoist: This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal. Today, I just got the keys to my first house. Give it time. Needed this today when you hear people preach that
freakyboysonly: walking back to the house with my stepbrother. Told him I wanted some rough sex, he said him too then asked if I ever messed around with a dude. I said yea and he was like word?! We were silent til we got home and went straight to work
callmemollymaybe: fantasywifeuniverse: Emily tried to remember what life was like before her husband got his hands on a universal remote. She certainly didn’t wear heels around the house, especially not while doing laundry. Heck, she couldn’t even
shoulderkeyroyalty: legolas-the-house-elf: fuks: holy f IVE PROBABLY BEEN LAUGHING AT THIS FOR TEN MINUTES STRAIGHT I STARTED LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY ANF MY PARENTS RAN UPSTAIRS THINKING I GOT HURT DNDBJSJDBT
curiouslymistook:healthycomfyhappy: blk0912: boredandmoist: This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal. Today, I just got the keys to my first house. Give it time. Needed this today when you hear people preach that it gets better,
thegreenwolf: thepsychoticallyreckless:I kept letting him in the house and grandma got mad at me Okay, I’m going to be a killjoy here and say this is a bad idea. Feeding wild mammals leads to a few negative consequences:–Humans have a tendency to
insta-incest: My daughters didn’t even wait until we got into the house to give me my birthday present.
milfman51: Kate couldn’t wait for her son to come over. Ever since her son got married she’s been asking him to come over every Friday night after work. His wife thinks he’s just helping his mom around the house, but what she doesn’t know is
maternallover: I don’t think my mom was expecting me to get home from classes so soon. I knew she would often walk around the house nude, but since I got older it seemed she became more demure about her nudity. Mom, nothing to be shy about, you look
domstoryteller: My roommates told me when I lost my job they would let me stay as long as I helped out around the house. Turns out what they meant was they would rape me whenever they got horny. -CandiKik DomStoryteller
1980s-something-space-guy: thepsychoticallyreckless:I kept letting him in the house and grandma got mad at me this is splendid.
knitmeapony: ceeblathers: ceeblathers: before I do that tag thing can I just comment on something really quick because wow so my mom got into doing watercolors very, very recently because she’s gotten bored around the house as an empty nester and
londonhowell: je-suis-un-espion: thesteppinrazor: operameister: thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble: agentgreenfishy: poselikeateam: fuck-i-just: Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we
naughtynicegirl69: I bought this shirt at the House of Blues when I saw Bastille and Wolfgang…finally got around to trying it on…I am 99.9% sure a man designed this t-shirt…I could be wrong though…lol…:P
jillibean90:I’m home and off work today doing chores around the house, got any asks for me?
sparkytheandroid: girlfriend: honey i need you to pick out some decorations for the house me: got it
kingscrown666: whatsupbeanie: That one time we got accidentally locked out of the house. I remember that FOR ME it was a fun adventure! THIS IS ADORABLE
correspondingnerd: interstellarvagabond: interstellarvagabond: interstellarvagabond: Holy shit a lightning bug got in the house and I almost pissed myself because there was suddenly a random floating light and my dumbass sleep deprived brain went:
thepsychoticallyreckless:I kept letting him in the house and grandma got mad at me
slimetony: ketos-swimmy-swim: slimetony: slimetony: Grounded from tumblr for a month because my step dad Brett got hit with a ninja star while i was practicing but he says i did it on purpose which is not true Mom kicked Brett out of the house
nic0tine-kisses: I’ve got my dressing gown on because the house is cold which means winter is coming, so exciting.
yarrahs-life: curiouslymistook: healthycomfyhappy: blk0912: boredandmoist: This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal. Today, I just got the keys to my first house. Give it time. Needed this today when you hear people preach that
lebritanyarmor: lordxpvpi: yallaintshit: tavix2: jayywesst: Netflix is like a refrigerator full of food but nothing that is good to me 😂😂 this is equivalent to your mom saying “we got food at the house” 😂😂 Come check what to watch
pduro: “Guess who’s got the biggest cock in this house?” Well Fuck My Ass & call me NOW!
vardaesque: saevuswinds: vardaesque: you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that
devivre: Michelle and Barack had their first date/kiss at Hyde Park baskin robbins who knew He’s got a house on Greenwood, too. They have secret service placed at both ends of the street so you can’t get close.. and there are signs that
guccikeychain: we picked up spoils of war >:)
pancaketardis: vindicated—love: thisis-my-note: cassi-fries: the houses i lived in as a child. you’re fucking forgetting one Haha damn… someone got all edgy about blues clues.
catana234: For over five years, even before we were married you asked, demanded and finally begged for panties. Now that I got you panties you refuse to wear them? No you stupid slut. You will wear them. You will wear them every time you leave the house.
jayywhizzle: I got these gardenias for my dad who passed away. They were his favorite flower. He used to bring them home and put them in a bowl water so the house smelled lovely.
pettyspaghetti: Hanging around the house and got bored
jessthemonkey: “Sorry to shock with with my nudity son. Since your dad is always gone and you went away for school, I kinda got used to being to only one in the house. Now it’s just a habit. I hope you don’t mind although something is telling me
kittysmashh: Go ahead and cry little girl Nobody does it like you do I know how much it matters to you I know that you got daddy issues 🖤 Leave my caption intact or you’ll wear entirely weather inappropriate clothes out of the house and be SO SWEATY
myfunbits: Been working so hard around the house tonight, nipple wanted to play😬 show you later what we got up to😈 share if you’d like to suck it💋
