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out-there-on-the-maroon: thelittlestotter: Every American should watch Jon Stewart. The world would be a better place. There’s a reason he was voted the Most Trusted Newscaster in America a while back. He’s not even a “real” newscaster, but
Voldemort rose to power in 1997. He destroyed all records of muggle borns. Therefore, all muggle borns that would have been younger than 11 at the time of his takeover would never have gotten their letters because he's an evil wizard and destroyed our
xilomen: Caption: So cute: “My father used to do this with me when I was a baby. People always looked really anxious and asked him what he was doing. He would simply reply, “I’m teaching her to trust me.”
the-perks-0f-being-a-cactus: daisy-ze-medic: He’s a fucking carbon copy look at gordon he’s so proud
Caption: So cute: “My father used to do this with me when I was a baby. People always looked really anxious and asked him what he was doing. He would simply reply, “I’m teaching her to trust me.” I Love this picture…
mbthecool: The last trace of steam evaporated in the autumn air. The train rounded a corner.Harry’s hand was still raised in farewell.“He’ll be all right,” murmured Ginny.As Harry looked at her, he lowered his hand absentmindedly
harkness-and-sparrow: crimsonclad: five-boys-with-accents: Eeyore is just one of those characters that you wanna scoop up and hug forever. One awesome thing about Eeyore is that even though he is basically clinically depressed, he still gets invited
actionables: I looked up the artist and his name is Johannes Stoetter and he is this really trippy guy who paints on people and HOW THIS IS A FROG BUT THOSE ARE REALLY PEOPLE AND THAT PINEAPPLE LOOKS ALIVE THIS TREE REMINDS ME OF A WOMAN A BIT HE
genderbells: i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went “oh. your heart sped up and i… ok”
buttholeos: i was checking out at target and this guy was being really flirty with me and his nametag said rosemarie so when i left i said “have a good night rosemarie” and he said “rosemarie??” and i pointed to his nametag and he said fuck very
loveandeloquence: He’s Counting Down From 21, And By The Time He Reaches 15, My Stomach Is In Knots
n4ughty-y: I watched an interview he was in and they asked him, “how do you play being in love so easily?” and he replied, “actually being in love with leighton really helped.”
mikeyfriskeyhands: My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.
twitches3: whenyouwishupondisney: kristoffbjorgman: why are people shipping elsa with jack frost we all know who the real icy otp is vanilla chocolate swirl 4eva Omfg UHM MAYBE YOU HAVEN’T HEARD BUT HE HAS A WIFE WHO IS THE GREATEST GOOD HE IS EVER
nagitok: “what did this man do, officer?” “he just… he just did everything”
love-phd: He’s getting it, and he knows it
equisollux: zombiecthulu: basedkuroko: my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone I bet he’s on
awwww-cute: He popped the first two. Now he carries this one very gently
christmasbarakat: my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants
dropdeadesu: A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”
mszombi: meladoodle: one time when i was like 12 my dad wanted me to put a dvd in the dvd player and i was like ‘what do i get in return’ and he said ‘you can have half of the winnings of this stupid lotto ticket’ and he ended up winning 600,000
dioburandou: daemontool: remember this show where this one dude had to guess what is he smelling and he put his nose into someones asshole and went “smells like ass” and the commentator went “correct” and this dude did the funniest expression
theroguefeminist: gooberascendant: gorgoon: Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said “Today’s a Son day huh?” And I was like “yeah” And he was like “huh, I thought today was
flourishtodecay: rlyrlyugly: vaqas-umair: When Johnny saw Winona for the first time he was 26 and she was 18. They were every adolescent’s dream - he was a teen idol and she was little more than a teenager. They knew of one another through their
allons-yalexa: no-friend-teenage-tears: lilysinthefall: the4elemelons: We should fear this guy ohhh no thank youuu I’ll pass on that cliff thing did he just go into the water with shoes on? he just rolled backwards off a cliff and your only
christmasbarakat: my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to
vibra-thor:envyadams:This Man Did Something That’s Already Expected Of Women But He Gets Extra Praise Cause He’s A ManOmg no just please read the entire thing before tumblr ruins this ugh. The girls mother left at a very young age and the father was
kidzbopsicle: my netflix wasn’t working so i called the netflix dude and after he fixed it he said let’s try it out and see if it worked so we watched an hour long movie together and idk i think it was a date
niqabisinparis:if my husband doesn’t cry when he sees me on our wedding day I will softly kick him in the shin until he sheds a tear
castiel-knight-of-hell: bow-ties-fezzes-and-stetsons: ambolesen: tonystarktastic: i-ll-be-mother: Is Robert Downey Jr’s facebook even real? It is. And I’ve seen his replies to people and just…he confirmed on Twitter that he runs that fucking
shuuya-kana:wh0re-mouth: noitsfabrayberry: person: he’s so hot lesbian: i don’t think he’s that attractive person: yeah but you’re not sexually attracted to men lesbian: i’m not sexually attracted to shoes either but i can still tell when
nanavaltiel: riverdoge: thegreensanitarium: riverdogproductions: newworldorganization: drifterscave: doitsundere: anal0g2: asvpyeezy: kanye sleeping. shhhh Kanye Rest in his Kanye Nest when he wakes up he’s going to be his kanye best This
gefuehlsrisiko: 420avacado: weoweth1s:soilmate: First time I’ve posted anything nude but mike used to tell me if I did he would leave me cause my body belonged to him or whatever and oh well he left anyways and my body is mine so yup this feels great
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it
dragondicks: psychara: worldofmarije: A while ago, I was playing around with Photo Booth. I put my cat in front of the camera and I almost died laughing when he saw himself. He was so shocked! HAHAHA “WHAT HAVE I BECOME”
timecannotberewritten: ueaq: “when im 20 he’ll be 25” but you arent???? 20. youre 15??? and he is 20????????? why is a 20 year old into 15 year olds
plasticfroots: duhhvana: Did he win he was eliminated that episode but gordon said his cake tasted good it just looked like shit
in my messages theres one guy who keeps talking to me in a way I probably wouldnt be chill with now and apparently this was around the time I lost my virginity and he said I was acting different and I was like ‘im not a virgin anymore’ and he was
maddhatter666:He lived long and he prospered.
howstuffworks: guardian: The life and times of Lonesome George Lonesome George, the last of the Pinta island giant tortoises and a conservation icon, has died of unknown causes. He was believed to be about 100 years old. He was found in 1972 and become
catsbeaversandducks: Scarface is a Singapore celebrity with a huge head, covered in numerous scars from fights with other street cats, which is how he got his name in the first place. Scarface had to be removed from the original locality where he lived
Just kidding I grabbed him and put him outside 🐀 idk where he came from, but he lives to squeak another day
pureheartemotion: 30 day naruto challenge ◊ day 5 → favorite sensei: Jiraiya “The true measure of a shinobi is not how he lives but how he dies. It’s not what they do in life, but what they did before dying that proves their worth. Thinking
isacinfinityquotes: Perfection *0* ! A piece of art ! His own masterpiece he lives his art he express it! Wut a great human ! Just admire cuz i adore it ^^
wiggyjiggy: the first time I met my boyfriend in real (he lives three hours away), I sat on his bed, he grabbed me by the throat and said “oh I’ve finally got my hands on my little princess” and at that moment I knew everything was gonna work out
I went to visit Winston again today <3 He’s such a beautiful cat and poses so well for the camera. Well, it figures, since he lives in a camera shop XD
my dad just told me a story of when he gave three hitchhiking drag queens a ride across the san fran bridge when he lived there
I’m really happy so many people liked my Siamese Sylveon from my Sylveon Variations post yesterday !! I really loved it too so I decided to turn it into my own personal Poke OC <3 His name is Bartholomew and he lives in a coffee shop. He uses
onehornywoman: I just don’t get to see my older son enough since he lives at college. But this Spring Break week, we are making up for it! Fun and sun and incredible, long sessions. He’s the Bull in my life. So huge and strong. So demanding.
derangedangel: He’s cute. Where does he live?? ;)
nakedcuddles:I take a lot of pics to my boy today (he lives in another city), this is one of them.. Hope you like it! I hope he loved them! Sometimes I miss sending simple pics to boyfriend, now I always just post them first. But it’s his fault for
scriptedwithdesire:“He said something about kissing toast. He lived for kissing toast. Or maybe it was tacquitos.”
The effects of DBS on the motor symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease (by Andrew Johnson) Andrew was diagnosed with Early Onset Parkinson’s Disease in 2009 when he was 35 years old. He lives with his wife and two children in Auckland, New Zealand.
busket: he’s not canon but he lives on in our hearts HHes
depravityfeels: jimsdeadbones: meanwhile on my twitter do you think God stays in heaven because he lives in fear of what he has created
kibbles-bits: New Home Chapter Two Part 2 In exchange for Yellow Diamond’s help in getting rid of The Cluster, Steven offers himself. He now lives on her ship as they set course back to Homeworld. Part 1, 2 <Previous Chapter
euo: do you ever just wish somebody would violently beat the living fuck out of you
sydneykrukowski: stats: in skyrim i married a homeless man and even though we are married and he lives in my huge fuckin house he still wears rags and asks me to give him 1 gold whenever i see him that’s just what men are like
