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“I would go on three dates with you even if you turned out to be a gay, consulting criminal.”
“I’ll eat you out even though digestion slows me down.”
“I don’t care if you boast a lot– I’ll still tell you bedtime stories.”
“I’m crazy for you, and not in a Project H.O.U.N.D. kind of way.” One of my real-life friends suggested a “crazy for you” line with Henry a long time ago, but I can’t remember which one, sooooo… This is me not
“I would wait a year and a half just to serenade you with my Bee Gees ringtone.”
“I would buy you a deerstalker even if the rest of Scotland Yard didn’t pitch in.”
“You know, I’ve got a phone. I mean, very clever and all that, but you could just booty call me. On my phone.”
“I bet I can keep you wetter than Soo Lin Yao’s teapots.”
“I would never chase some killer while trying to get off with you.”
“You’re more valuable to me than a nine million pound jade hairpin.”
“Are you my blogger? Because I’d be lost without you.”
“Of course we won’t be needing two bedrooms.”
The best of The Blind Banker references, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.
“Wanna wear matching outfits? I’m putting on my battle dress.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
The best of John Watson’s facial expressions, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.
“I may not be The Golem, but I bet I can squeeze the life out of you, if you get what I mean.”
The best of Sherlock Holmes’s facial expressions, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.
“I don’t care about your intermittent tremor– I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.”
“I’ve been lonely ever since you ensured my husband’s execution.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I would show off at your trial just to get locked in a cell with you.”
The best of miscellaneous episode references, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.
“I thought your post-mortem joke was funny.”
The best of Molly Hooper, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.
“You make me so stiff, Molly mistook me for one of her cadavers.”
“I like my partners the way I like my wall decorations: Music-loving and horny.”
“Wanna see what’s Under my Shaw?” Seriously though, save Undershaw!
“Don’t you want me on the floor too? And on the bed, and on the couch, and on the table, and against the wall…” Submitted by anonymous.
“My division is the one between your legs.”
“Do you want to see what else I could present for your pleasure?” Submitted by the-improbable-1.
“If you were my day to die, I could never get a better offer.”
“Dear Jim, I’m in love with you. Won’t you fix it for me?” Submitted by anonymous.
“Since you blew your nose on the lady from the train’s number, would you like mine instead?” Submitted by anonymous.
“If Moriarty was about to murder you, I would give him a call.”
“Even if I knew nothing about you, I would flat share with you.” Submitted by anonymous.
“Even if I was the St. Bart’s traffic cone, I wouldn’t tell you to slow down.”
“A Black Lotus flower isn’t the only thing I can put in your mouth.”
“I have five children.” Okay, so this one’s actually a bit of an inside joke… My ex-boyfriend, (whom I am no longer on speaking terms with), has a daughter now, and he’s been persistently trying to inform me of this fact.
“I would pretend to be drunk just to go for a ride with you.”
“You can ride me if you want. I even come with a riding crop!”
“Well, I do believe that my pupils have dilated!” Submitted by crows-flight.
The best of series one references, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.
“If you were my drug, a seven percent solution wouldn’t be enough.”
“If I had a silly-looking jumper for every time I thought of you, I’d be John Watson.”
The best of submissions, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.
“Forget dead pigs– want to see what I can penetrate with my other harpoon?”
“I would come to your flat even if I was on the other side of town and it could be dangerous.”
“The fridge? Please, I know a better place for you to put your fingers.”
“When I’m retired and studying bees, will you be my honey?”
“My division is LONG division… Wanna see why?”
“If you give me your heart, I promise I won’t put it in the fridge.”
“I’d love to get under your sheets. Especially if you were still wearing them.”
“I was Wats-off, but then you turned me Wats-on.”
“My umbrella will keep you dry, but I’ll keep you wet.”
“I’m more desperate for you than Mycroft is for tea on a train.” Inspired by a tweet from Mark Gatiss.
“I’m not your type? Don’t worry– I’m sooooo changeable.”
“I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you, so I had to put them in the microwave.”
“I would stop wearing Westwood just to get your attention.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“Can we go to your place? There’s a consulting criminal storyteller hiding at mine.”
“Want to know why the fandom calls me ‘Fucking Anderson’?”
“I love you more than John loves jam.” Submitted by xhowisharveywallbangeronewordx.
