snorlaxatives
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snorlaxatives: my life is kind of like an infomercial because i suck at everything i do
snorlaxatives: my school has a confessions page on facebook and
snorlaxatives: i love when strangers walk by and smile at you
snorlaxatives: me in the club
snorlaxatives: remember when ryan seacrest tried to high five a blind guy
snorlaxatives: why the fuck does everyone in the purge movies want to kill people if crime was legal i’d find a way to erase my student debt and also probably steal a bunch of new clothes
snorlaxatives: me: *eats cookie dough* some weak ass person: “you’ll get salmonella poisoning!!!”
snorlaxation: y’all mothafuckas need to start wearing some rubber suits
snorlaxation: Is this good??
snorlaxatives: waking up and realizing you still have more time to sleep
snorlaxatives:people are always like “respect your elders” and i’m just like….. no….. i’ll respect everyone until they give me a reason not to. i’ll respect people who respect me. i have no obligation to respect someone just because they’re
snorlaxatives: garlic memes??? i feel like his has such a niche audience but i feel it
snorlaxatives:that little chunk of chocolate at the bottom of the drumstick cone reblog if you agree
Now You've Got Something To Die For!
snorlaxatives: do you ever just get in a mood where you really fucking love cereal
snorlaxatives: how people use to imagine the future: how people now imagine the future:
snorlaxatives: if you make fun of the kids that sit by themselves at lunchtime then i hope you know YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING ASSHOLE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD
snorlaxatives: swag the fuck outta raven
snorlaxatives: the meninist twitter account actually tweeted something positive and the followers of the meninist twitter account responded exactly how you’d expect the followers of the meninist twitter account to respond
snorlaxatives: *thinks about suicide squad* *thinks about deadpool* *thinks about batman v superman* *thinks about x-men apocalypse* *thinks about captain america civil war* i’m gonna be the absolute biggest piece of comic book movie trash in 2016
snorlaxatives: meladoodle: meladoodle: i will not rest until i have a post with 500 notes and none of them are likes or reblogs theyre all replies that say ‘bagel’ it…. was looking so good… leave it to the united states to fuck it up smh
snorlaxatives: me when i see new messages in my ask
snorlaxatives: i’m like 99% sure drake and josh was cancelled because josh got skinny
snorlaxatives: that little chunk of chocolate at the bottom of the drumstick cone reblog of you agree
snorlaxatives: first day of 2018: some ugly youtuber with bad hair films, exploits, and makes a mockery of a suicide victimsecond day of 2018: the president has a big dick contest with kim jong un and threatens nuclear war
snorlax-faps-to-anything:
snorlaxatives: has anyone else noticed Nicki Minaj looks just like Rita Repulsa from power rangers
snorlaxatives: collegehumor should change their name to middleschoolboyhumor
snorlaxatives: THE WORST KIND OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD ARE THE PEOPLE WHO NOTICE WHEN YOU’RE EMBARRASSED AND BLURT OUT “YOU’RE BLUSHING” LIKE YES IM EMBARRASSED THANK YOU FOR POINTING IT OUT TO EVERYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT
snorlaxatives: little high schoolers are always like “i’m moving out as soon as i turn 18” like smfh do you realize things cost money
snorlaxatives: LOOK AT THIS COASTER I GOT IT LOOKS LIKE THE LITTLE DUDE GOT SQUISHED HAHA
snorlax-con-tetas: listen to pop pop
snorlaxatives:remember when you were innocently minding your business in 2008 and 3oh!3 dropped the iconic fucking line “tell your boyfriend if he says he got beef that i’m a vegetarian and i ain’t fucking scared of him” that was a transformative
snorlax: my soul is ready
snorlax: when you find out a villager is sick
snorlaxatives: buttcramps: i pet SEVEN dogs today what did you do!??? my life is inadequate
snorlaxatives: accidentally walking through a spiderweb
snorlaxatives: 7 billion people, 14 billion ass cheeks
snorlaxatives: if anyone who follows me wins the powerball just remember that i’ve always been a sweet and kind internet presence in your life and if you need something to do with all that money i will be over here with open arms
snorlaxatives: currently: at the movie theater with my brother about to see ‘don’t breathe’ armed with a big bucket of popcorn and a bag of sour strips life’s good
snorlaxatives: do you ever just randomly get in the mood to play the sims??? like i’m sitting here at work just minding my own business and my brain is just like “i wish we were playing the sims right now” and i’m like “damn brain… me too”
snorlaxatives:can i just give a special shoutout to all the fedex, UPS, and mail delivery people because they work hard as fuck especially this time of year like my family had a combined total of like 30 different packages in the past few weeks and the
snorlaxatives: people who keep their instagram accounts on private are honestly so rude and insensitive to me, a nosy ass snoop
snorlaxatives: “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.”Legally Blonde (2001) dir. Robert Luketic
snorlaxatives: sometimes i just love sitting in the sun, feeling the rays warm up my body, absorbing the nutrients… i love being a plant
snorlaxatives:do you ever just get in a mood where you really fucking like apples?? i mean usually i’m just like “apples are ok” but every once in a while i’ll get a nice crunchy ass apple and my appreciation for apples will just suddenly skyrocket
snorlaxatives:no shade but doesn’t it get exhausting for some of y'all to hate literally everything???? i know you think it’s cool and edgy to dislike popular media but like….. it’s okay to enjoy things…. simmer down perhaps
snorlaxatives: banana bread is a quality bread and i feel like it’s simply not appreciated as much as it could be where my fellow banana bread lovers @
snorlax: rate my gaming setup?
snorlaxatives: not to sound dramatic but the scholastic book fair in elementary school is the most pure and genuinely happy place i’ve ever experienced in my life
snorlaxatives:kinda miss social media in 2012 where the concept of an influencer didn’t exist and everyone was using instagram’s premade filters and posting pictures of random shit like a handful of skittles or an overexposed sunset… those
snorlaxatives:i hate the type of healthy person who says eating fruit is um actually bad for you because it’s “too much sugar” shut the fuck up these bananas are lucky they’re being consumed and not rotting on my counter like their ancestors
snorlaxatives: muffin tins gotta be one of the top five worst dishes to wash by hand. right up there with them fuckass blender blades. all those nooks and crannies like… don’t piss me off
