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“I learned Serbian in a couple hours. Want to see how quickly I can get to know your tongue?”

“Are you 051113? Because you just blew me away.”

“I’m sorry I came back from the dead with a French accent. Next time I tell you big news I’ll give you something else French.”

“Stop kicking that tire… I know a better way to get your frustration out.”

“The things we’d like to do to you… I have a list. Mycroft has a file.”

“I promise not to be a Mayfly Man with you.”

“When I said ‘I’m just going to whip this out,’ I didn’t mean my detective equipment.” (Inspired by this post.)

“Let’s be Oklahomos together.” (If you haven’t seen it yet…)

“The lack of a ring when you slapped me isn’t the only reason I’m glad your engagement’s over.”

“A tire lever isn’t the only thing in my pants that’s a tiny bit sexy.”

“Forget the limits– let’s all three dance.”

“The door knocker isn’t the only thing I won’t let my brother turn straight.”

“I’d like to corrupt your ‘magnetic strip.’”

“I think you’re funnier than Lord Smallwood’s letters.”

“Forget solving crimes– I could use you as an alternative to getting high.”

“Don’t worry, I’m no London ambulance. I take longer than eight minutes to come.”

“Call me the Clarence House Cannibal, because I’d like a taste of you.”

“Come with me and your teapot collection won’t be the only thing getting wet.” Based on a suggestion by scripturientjester.

“I’m sorry you miss Redbeard… If you need a dog, I’ll put on a collar for you.” Based on a suggestion by scripturientjester.

“Are you Cupid? Because you just shot me in the heart.” Submitted by scripturientjester.

“The shooting last week isn’t the only reason you may have to restart my heart.”

“You be the potatoes and I’ll be Mycroft’s laptop… Get on top of me.”

“Forget folding my shirts and cycling to work– I’d rather wear no clothes and ride you.”

“Flicking isn’t the only thing I’d like to do to your face.”

“I’d love you even if you only befriended me to get to my blackmailing boss.”

“You don’t need to YouTube to see my exotic dancing.”

“I’d keep your chair even if it was blocking my view to the kitchen.”

“Undercover about my feelings for you? WELL I’M NOT NOW!”

“Are you the East Wind? Because I’d let you take me in the end… in the rear end, that is.”

“Are you a complete flake who happens to be a genius? Because you are unbelievably hot!”

“I’ve got some pictures for you as a treat… And I’m not talking about the ones I showed Archie.”

“I’d let you catch me in a compromising position… and I’m not talking about being on the treadmill.”

“My cock is good for more than just peeing in fireplaces.”

“You may have made my arm squishy, but you’ve made something else of mine rock hard.”

“I don’t think we should wear hats… unless you mean the other kind of hat.”

“Forget Appledore… Make me your Applewhore.”

“Let’s do a procedure where the participants tend to know each other and it’s over when one of them’s dead… No, I’m not talking about murder.”

“I don’t just do it doggy style– I do it Redbeard style.”

“Even if you told me that the Western world is run from a single house, I’d still want to talk about dinner.”

“I bet I can make you come in less the time Sherlock’s exile took.”

“Girl, are your initials A.G.R.A.? Because you are Amazing, Gorgeous, Radiant, and Adorable.”

“The game is never over. I want to play with you forever.”

“I bet wearing Claire-de-la-Lune and being blackmailed by Magnussen isn’t all we have in common.”

Five more t-shirts now available! “Is that a riding crop under your coat, or are you just happy to see me?” “Let’s talk about the birds and the Bee Gees.” “I made you some shoes.” “I bet I can make your

“I’d let you contaminate my ‘crime scene.’” Submitted by anonymous.

“Are you London? Because I want to get to know you and breathe in every quiver of your beating heart.”

“You make me Claire-de-la-Swoon.”

“I need condoms so big, people call me Charles Augustus Magnum-sen.”

“Appearing in my mind palace while I’m unconscious? I believe that makes you the man of my dreams.”

Work it, Mummy Holmes! Happy Mother’s Day, followers <3

“Knowing is owning, but that’s not why I want to get to know you.”

“I could never bear to argue with you, even if I wasn’t something of a moron.”

“Maybe I won’t shave for Sherlock, but I’d definitely shave for you.” Submitted by anonymous.

“Those things’ll kill you… I know what you should put in your mouth instead.”

“I’ll be your housekeeper… Maybe I’ll exotic dance for you too.” Submitted by anonymous.

“I would never tell you to get out of my head when I’m busy.” Submitted by anonymous.

“The whole world is wet to my touch, and it’s not because of my sweating condition.”

“I’d have another row with the chip and PIN machine for you.” Submitted by anonymous.

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